Christmas was such a mixture of anticipation and dread for me this year. This year I know much more than last my dh's little AD quirks and how that could effect the family in a usually jolly, festive season. I had to make several adjustments and watch dh very closely. First of all, he has a habit of starting to drink early (I thank the person who pointed out that he's probably lost track of when "happy hour" is, so it just starts earlier and earlier these days). Therefore, I have to conjur up activities that keep him away from the liquor cabinet until later in the evening; so I do that. Then, once he starts drinking, he just keeps filling his glass and then usually knocks something over with red wine in it and makes a mess of dd's white carpet - yep, you guessed it, he did just that again this year only this time, he ruined dd's new "favorite" top. Then, this morning when the kids are bursting at the seams to open their gifts and the noise and activity are at a fever's pitch, I see my poor dh retreating into himself because of all the chaos. He couldn't wait to leave. We went to my friend's house to drop off gifts and visit a bit and same thing - little kids, noise, not so much chaos, but he was getting very anxious. He didn't get back to normal until we got home. So, my holiday revolves around trying to keep him steady and my fun be damned.
So, that's my story, and it's always that story when we're around any merry-making activity with more than 4 people. How did your holiday go? How do your AD spouses handle all that activity?
This morning at DIL was fun watching the kids open presents. After that - just another day. Finances did not allow us to buy presents or even send money to grandkids. I usually send $20 to each but could not this year. Oh well.
We've had a nice holiday, all things considered. Jeff's brother and sister are in town and have taken him along on errands and such which results in his battery being depleted early. Yesterday (Christmas day) we just had people over to our house, as the energy and chaos of many folks around is also a VERY depleting factor so it helps if we're home and there's somewhere he can retreat to, and I can put him to bed early.
It was a rather stressful Christmas and not DH's fault. I am worn down from doing everything. DD and her family were due in from TX around 6:30. I felt obligated to have a meal prepared for them. I invited other kids to. One Daughter going to in-laws, another son going to in-laws. Okay by me. We would have a small group of nine. On Christmas eve son says they are not going to in-laws, so I say come eat with us. Then at dinner time son and family do not appear. Excuse, they did not think we would have enough food. They did not call to say they were not coming. Finally they arrived as we finished our meal. I had prepared extra food and extra vegetable casseroles, plus a 16 pound turkey and several desserts. I am astounded at his rudeness.
Had a lovely, quiet lunch/dinner with our priest here. I so enjoy him - good conversation, shared a bottle of wine and ate too much! DH did fairly well,although kept forgetting who Fr. Bruce was - but he handles DH so well and it didn't matter.
Later in the afternoon, though, DH asked me if he was ever going to get better - I was honest and said probably not, but we'll get through this together. He then told me he knew he wouldn't be here next Christmas - at which time, I diverted him with his small glass of cream sherry. Took him out to a big breakfast this morning, just got home and he wants to know what he can do for dinner tonight!.
Yesterday was very nice at our house. DH did very well and enjoyed the kids and grandkids. No little ones here and everyone is considerate of dh. Sister came and seemed to enjoy all - she ate everything and more! DIL helped with cleaning up after meal and granddaughters straightened around the Xmas tree so made my evening easier. Got to catch up with g-daughters who do not live in our town and are into grad school and jobs and ever so busy. They have been so close to dh and were very kind to him and I only hope as this progresses they will continue and I really believe they will they are great young women. Daughter came and she and brothers co-existed is all I can say for that. No overt friction anyway. Bros so resent her need for my help they think to the extreme (and they are no doubt right in some instances.) We took family pictures and everyone was cooperative! So good Christmas and today dh is helping with vacuuming and wants to go out to eat using some of our gift cards.
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day went well. We spent Christmas Eve at my parents and it went well. The only thing that happened was my husband and my 98 year old grandmother had a fight over a cookie. My husband picked it up, my grandmother said it was hers and tried to take it from him. She lost, he won the cookie. There was a whole tray of the cookies right next to her so I don't know why she wanted that particular one.
Christmas day went well also. We had brunch at my daughter's, stopped at my parents and then spent the day at my sister's home. Bruce actually took a nap while we were there. It was nice and peaceful for me too. I also got my Christmas gift of a complete, coherent sentence from my husband. He rarely speaks and when he does it doesn't usually make sense. He said to me after we left my daughter's "Are we going to your parents now?" It was great! :)
What a good day! Sure had to laugh about the cookie war. I'm surprised that your grandmother lost. Some old ladies are pretty fierce, and I would have bet on her.
We actually had a fairly nice Christmas too. DH did very well while at our daughter's home on Sat. He did have quiet a bit of trouble opening gifts and knowing who they were from. But over all a good day. Christmas Day we were at my Mom's house for lunch with only her and my brother so a very quiet time there. I am just so relieved to have it over with.
When we got home from a great Christmas Eve dinner at my daughters and watching the little kids open presents, my dh said to me....."Whose birthday party was that for?" It was really kind of funny. He enjoyed the kids and did pretty well.
I dreaded it this year. Forced myself to decorate and glad I did. I put a small tree in the bedroom for dh and a few other items. I did not have a big meal as dh is on pureed foods anyway and really doesn't care. My children were here off and on and it was nice not worrying about gifts and food. We made cookies together which we have not done since they were children. We talked and play some Wii games. I even got to take the dog for a short walk and the weather was warm and beautiful here in S. CA. Hope next year is better. Our lives have definitely changed. It is really the small things that give us pleasure these days.
We had an interesting troll on this thread this morning. They wanted to plan beach weddings and sell us wedding gowns. I offered them some thoughts, e-mailed Joan and they are gone.
Christmas was OK this year. Both our daughters and younger daughter's husband and 2 boys were here. They took over ALL the cooking, etc. Also helped me get DW up in morning and to bed in the evening. My wife spent most of the time just sitting on the sofa, sometimes watching activities, sometimes dozing off. When it came to opening presents she had no idea what to do, so I had to open hers. I'm not sure she realized it was Christmas.
One of the presents we got was from our older daughter - a DVD of the Christmas movies I had taken when the kids were young. It was lots of fun to watch, and hear the girls exclaim over some present they remembered or other event. The movies covered the years from the birth of our first child to when the older ones were in highschool.
Another treat was watching our older daughter's pictures of her recent trip, with her husband, to Viet Nam and Hong Kong.
It was just me and DH for Christmas as is usual for the past few years. One card we got from a friend who we met in the 70's was just signed with first names naturally. DH asked who it was so I told him the surname and DH said "I never knew his name was Tommy". Yesterday I took him for a haircut and then for breakfast and while we were eating he asked if tomorow was Christmas!!!! I am not expecting great thing for 2012.
The last two year the holidays have been hard. I just didn't enjoy the holidays besides all four of us being sick. It is so sad. This year has to be better and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Guess things could be worse. I have a job and a roof over my head and my family. Not to bad I guess.
Our Christmas went well. I was lucky to have my bil take dh to see a friend in socal and then his siblings on the 23rd getting home on the 24th. After Mass ( I go alone now for the last 4 years) we had dinner with a cousin and the whole clan. Then on the 25th we were alone at home but thanks to Skype we talked to all the girls and many calls on the phone..and we opened gifts on Skype.. Then yesterday was my birthday and we had calls from everyone again and DH managed a trip out and gave me a nice pin ( a lady bug) and later we went to dinner. I got flowers from my brother and my two best friends spoiled me with pressies and another is taking me to lunch next week and a movie and one other to lunch.. I am treasuring this year..who knows what is ahead in so many ways not just with dealing with our LOs health issues but the nature of the world in general...and the threat the govt is going to pick our pockets clean soon.
My dh is MCI or early AD, no one knows. He's unpredictable but Christmas was nice as my side of the family is supportive and kind. However, on Christmas Eve an elderly gentlemen passed out while sitting at a stoplight and his truck rolled backwards into ours(I was driving). His engine was still running and his truck was pushing us so I had to hold the brake down hard. I asked DH to get out and see if he could rouse the man or shut his engine off while I continued to hold the brakes on. My beloved got out walked up to the other vehicle, looked in but came back and got in our car without doing anything, and just sat there. I called 911 for help and when they got there my husband was angry that I had called and kept asking them if there was a bill for them coming. He was angry at me for quite awhile saying he felt sorry for the elderly man. I get blamed for a lot of things these days.