Going through the motions is exactly right. Put on a "happy face" for everyone and just go through the motions. Family be here tomorrow thankful they will come.
I don't know about you but I am getting "tired" of "putting on" a happy face and "keeping" my emotions in check! I don't know any other way of handling the situation so I guess just like everyone else here I will keep being fake for the sake of...
It's Christmas Day here...just DH and I. I'm so emotional today, Dh and I watched/played Roy Orbison's songs on You Tube, also KD Lang..we both love. We both listened quietly and cried...brough home so many memories...and I felt so much love for him...why did this terrible desease have to happen. To top things off, had a call from grand daughter who said she just got engaged...and we're not there with family as they spend the day together.. No happy face from me either..
This holiday season started out like this with all the going through the motions..but then my bil took my DH down to LA to see his siblings, and have lunch with a chap he went to flt school with and he not only ate like I never fed him but he had a great time. Then tonight we were at my cousin's house for dinner and he was like he did not have this disease at all.. Of course his conversation was mostly about aviation and of course his first language, Spanish..my cousin in law's mother was there and she is from El Salvador. So it turned out to be a wonderful evening...I went to Mass alone and during Mass felt the strangeness seeing all the families together and being alone..sitting with a friend and all her family was not the same thing..there was that void..DH just can't manage church now and he is tired tonight but wow did he have a nice Christmas. I spent today doing more needed cleaning and paper sorting.....work need done but gets put off. Tomorrow I'll fix a turkey dinner for the two of us while he watches some TV hopefully Christmas programs not that " Cops" or The World At War stuff. I didn't think it would be possible having just got the tree up by myself and struggling to get the few gifts under the tree for him and some other decorations out..I used to be ready right after T'Giving..it was a struggle this year..I may take Wolf's advice and leave the tree up and to heck with the neighbor's thinking I have gone round the bend. I like my tree and if DH likes it I might just leave it up for him..even the cats like it and are sitting under it like presents.
Mimi: Glad Christmas was so great for you and dh. When I saw you comment about TV programs and you mentioned "Cops"...I laughed out loud. That is all my dh wants to watch. I record them so he has lots of them to watch....I am so sick of the music they play on that program..."Bad boys, Bad Boys...rings in my head.
My dh also enjoyed Christmas this year. We enjoyed Christmas eve at my daughter's house with the grandchildren and great food. Hope your Christmas day continues to be great.
Mimi - you can always change the decorations to whatever you feel - leave lights on and just change decorations. maybe cover with flowers in the spring.
Just today I was talking to someone about this and they said when it is Easter hang eggs and bunnies on it. pumpkins at halloween,..Heck it might make a good jewelery tree.
Christmas is a bit of a stretch for my dh now - too much chaos with the little kids, I could see him retreating. Of course, his condition makes it fairly impossible for me to enjoy the grandkids like I used to because of dh's needs. This really is a isolating disease and I know it's only going to get worse. However, so far our lives aren't too bad; dh is in stage 5 (I think) and he can still do most things for himself. He doesn't do anything well anymore and he used to be so meticulous about everything. And, it's just amazing the things that he DOES remember. When his guns were removed from the house, he gave them to his youngest daughter and within a few weeks he wanted them back. Well, she wouldn't give them back for obvious reasons (obvious to everyone but him). So now he has a bad attitude about her. I tell him that she gave the guns back to me but he still is aggravated with her - he just won't give it up. That makes me so sad, too, because she is such a sweetheart and is the daughter who is always willing to come be with her dad so I can get away. I'm a bit worried that she will start finding reasons not to come anymore and I can't blame her. The other daughter is too busy with her own kids and life and has almost no time for her dad (she really does have wayyyy too much on her plate) and I think she is a bit uncomfortable with the idea of being responsible for him for a day or weekend. So sad. I believe he won't even know them within a year. Sorry for going on and on, I just keep blabbing along.
I'd be glad if dh watched Cops instead of politics he gets angry and wants to move out of country! No TV on today so far and I'm happy for that. We got dvd player as a gift so maybe he will watch old football games that came with it - that is if I can remember how to play the darn thing. Why don't they just put a on and off button on those things - no push this and select that. ;(
Rosemary - if it comes down to it and it gets too much maybe you can take one gun, have the firing pin removed so the gun can not fire and give it to him. One gun might make him happier (not happy). That might be a last resort to this situation.