In the aggravating and inimitable way that Posterior Cortical Atrophy IS Alzheimer's but takes its own unique shape, I am wrestling this week with a familiar yet uniquely shaped problem.
Jeff seems to have entered a new kind of restlessness and is pacing around the house looking for "something to do." Yesterday he wanted to sign up for Accounting classes at the Community College. Today he wants to go to Law school. I am flat out of ideas for distracting objects I can give him. He's got 10 or 12 books he regularly riffles through, utterly unable to comprehend them. I reshelve or restack them in his room, and he tries again. He seems to have decided his books are unsatisfactory, so now he wants to go to school.
I'd love to give him some kind of toy, but it's the special nature of PCA that he recognizes toys as toys, and views himself as completely competent despite the fact that he can't do anything including putting his pants on the right legs.
It really sucks to be self-aware and yet unaware of your inability to do anything so that you're stuck being bored. The only solution I can employ is taking him places. This is why we go out for lunch and errands almost every day, and I still try to take trips. But obviously I cannot be doing this at all times. Once Christmas is over I may start taking short overnighters within driving range. I don't know. Maybe he'll calm down. Perhaps it's too much chocolate.
You really need his help with something, the question is what. My first thought was to make a new copy of your Christmas/holiday season card list, but I suspect his vision isn't good enough to even try. The trouble is men aren't used to doing enough jobs around the house. Sand your wooden spoons with one of those block shaped sanding sponges, if you can stand the mess?
Actually Pam, that's not a bad thought. His vision (or rather his ability to perceive the visual) is too poor for him to do much. He could not, for instance, stamp envelopes.
Do you know anyone with a business that could set him up in a phony job? The people I've heard about who had the most success with this were self-employed professionals with dementia, who continued to go their offices (driven by a paid driver) and "shuffled papers". It was all meaningless, but the PWD's didn't know that. Men identify so much with what they did for a living. I agree with Pam that men aren't used to doing enough jobs around the house. Females with dementia might enjoy simple cooking or housekeeping activities, i.e. shelling peas or something like folding laundry, for instance, because they did it all their lives.
He tends to be in the way at his old work (a busy hardware store, now run by his brother.) I do take him in to chat now and then, but he will stand and stare at the guys who are attempting to take orders and not really "get" that he's interfering with a transaction, so I try to keep these visits brief.
Pam...I tried the wooden spoons/sanding block. It worked for 10 minutes! He was very concerned about whether he'd done a sufficient job. I assured him it was good. I wish I could set up a fake woodshop with random things and nothing dangerous, but I believe that an inability to make sense of things is part of what causes him to lose interest quickly in anything, whether it be his books or a pretend project. I am slightly envious of caregivers whose LOs like TV!
it sounds as though he has attention deficit so to speak. no matter what you find to entertain it will be for very short periods. so dont worry about it too much. i also drove my DH around every single day when he wanted to always go somewhere. it didnt matter where or how long, as soon as we got home wtihin 5mins he would want to go somewhere. and wouldnt remember we just got home. very frustrating. maybe sort coins, or organize old magazines, ? playing cards, have him match up all 4 suits? very hard to keep them entertained with the handicaps.
My hb is same way; can't stay focused on anything for very long. Wanders, wanders, wanders. Care center now has assigned someone to be with him all the time. When I came in that person was relieved of duty, but I signed I was with him during that time. Was first presented to me as a short-term plan to see patterns in his activity. Apparently, for today's "assignment," they asked for volunteers to be w/hb. When I arrived, the maintenance man was with him:) Actually, a good fit as other caregivers are women and he is a very outgoing, fun guy who walked around the "other" part of the care center w/husband, played beanbag toss w/him, etc. CNA available if needed, but when hb is up and running, he really only needs someone to watch over him. After my complaints I see they're really trying to help hb "fit" in or that they "fit" him:)
Have you given thought to Day Care? The Alzheimer specific Day Cares are expert in dealing with all aspects of AD behavior, including what you describe. And it will give you a much needed break.
We looked into daycare 6 or so months ago. At the only center near us they work with both dementia patients and developmentally disabled adults. When we visited, they had not yet spread out for the day. (The older adults with whom Jeff might best relate usually would move into a recreation room area.) So the impression he got was of the dev. disabled in reclining wheelchairs, and a VERY demented elderly person or two wandering about. Hence, his reaction was very negative and he told me he was going to run away to Seattle.
I investigated a nearby Senior Center, but their set-up is that participants need to be functionally independent. What he needs is something that looks just like a senior center but is actually daycare. We don't seem to have that nearby. It is possible that if he loses a bit more self-awareness AND we visit the first daycare later in the day, when the older adults are in a different room, it could work. At this point though he retains a self-image of himself as a perfectly healthy person despite not actually being able to do anything more complicated than feed himself with a spoon.
Emily--there is a social club for people with early stage dementia at a Senior Center called Glenwood (Howard County). I Googled it and it shows the address is Cooksville. Don't know if it would be too far for you to drive, but I could see where if it's the right fit, it may be worth dropping him off a couple of times a week and you could have some free day(s). There is also another one in Kensington--I guess that's Montgomery County?
My DH had attended the center in Glenwood for 2 days after which they dismissed him because he would not stay focused on the crafts and wandered off. Being a younger male, he was not interested in crafts. I was very disappointed in the program.
Emily. First I hope you find some help here. My wife is entering the severe stage. She is in perfect health except for ALZ. Ever since the beginning she always had to be "doing something." Finally, I just started driving around. Then we started going for coffee. Now we do it almost everyday. I always make a big deal out of it in that we stay a while. I take the news papers and she brings old magazines and bring them for her too and she is just happy to be somewhere there are people and look at her catalogues or magazines. I enjoy the time looking over things of interest to me as well. Other times we just go to MacDonalds and get some simple food and sit in the car, eat slowly and listen to the radio and read the paper. For me, it's all about killing time just to get through the day. The library is a possiblility as well. Just stuff and places that are not to complicated for me. I'm afraid I don't do exactly what she wants anymore, I do what works for me so I can go the distance. The very best to you!
Absolutely soolow...I do that to. Just driving around, getting food, going places, looking at stuff. As long as we avoid the stress of navigating crowds it's always better than nothing.
I imagine that part of the reason I'm feeling his restlessness a bit more now is that we're in the holiday season, our young adults are home from school, and I have things to do which require me to be at home more and not focus as much on Jeff. When this time of year is over I can spend a bit more of the day tiring him out with outings.