You want clueless, the judge who set bail also ordered the man to stay away from his mother ... and the man is her sole caregiver. He tried to explain to the judge that he needed to care for his AD mother, make sure she had food etc, and the judge said the only way the restraining order could be lifted was if the mother called the DA's office.
Also, the article you linked doesn't have a lot of info that's been in other articles. Friends and neighbors say the man has been a good and caring son. His father had been physically healthy until very recently, even mowing the lawn himself. It was only last week that the father started becoming more frail and having difficulty trying to get out of the car. The poor man works as a bus driver, was obviously doing the best that he knew how and not prepared for a sharp change in his father's abilities. He had made arrangements with the coffeeshops, his parents were there on a regular basis, and the owners looked out for them -- and are among the people speaking out in his defense.
So very, very sad.
(I had the same reaction to the wallpaper. Egads. But then, I like off-white walls throughout the house, with framed nature prints.)
I agree, I felt very sorry for the son, not judgmental. I was thinking clueless in regard to the people reacting to the situation, not the guy himself - I should have made that clear! His dad was probably being stubborn in not getting out of the car, and he had to leave!
How about Mom saying something like - go to work dear we can get there on our own? Of course in her state, she probably forgot that part.
This type of thing really hits a lot of my buttons. We have all been there and tried when our person turned stubborn suddenly or can't do something they did yesterday. I know it took me a bit sometimes to catch on and make adjustments to the changes in my DH. They are adults even if impaired, it is not like a baby or small child that you lift up and just do what you have to do. Sometimes, I think that the expectations of what any caregiver can do with a person with AD is so unrealistic.
On the wallpapers. I have read how a lot of people with AD don't like any changes. My DH embraced them and had no problem paper changes and painting when he was at home. We even replaced many of the rugs and rearranged some of the furniture. I made him part of the process and the decisions and he always seemed happy with it and never questioned the end result. As we only had a handful of "I want to go home" incidents, I don't think that any of the changes caused them.
How about the judge that obviously didn't get it. Does this go back to our discussion on more education needed of the public?
It can be quite scary when the AD person wont get out of the car. on more than one occasions my DH would not budge out of the back seat to get him out. i mean his feet would be sooo planted on the floor board if you did move it he would put it back. one time i had to call the fire station down the street to help get him out as it was over 100deg and during last summer-other times i just tried getting in AGAIN and driving him around some more. that worked so now i know how if hes stubborn. they can most certainly die in hot car. thats so very sad. divvi
You know, I've paid attention when I've seen a small child alone in a car, or a pet, and been ready to call the authorities if no one showed up right away.
It never occurred to me to keep an eye out for older people...
well, me too, and I certainly do take DH on "excursions" with me where he waits in the car. After him locking himself in a couple of times, I always open the windows wide and TAKE THE KEYS! and walk fast!
They don't have to be older people. They could be EOAD. Guess you have to be on the lookout for anyone in a car in the heat or extreme cold. I would break a car window if I saw someone suffering. Or an animal for that matter. They are equal to me. Sometimes there is not enough time for the authorities to arrive, as we've witnessed on the news with kids dying from the heat in cars. I'll pay for the darned window.
In California windows get broken all the time. People are very aware of how heat can kill there. Here in Pennsylvania we had a recent event. It is so much less likey that people don't always notice kids or animals in a car. In the case of an adult, you really need to try to figure out if they can get out on their own. If not, I'm going to break the window myself. But I spent almost 15 years in California and almost 3 in Arizona. I tend to be more aware than people who have never lived where it gets very hot.