I wanted to post a quick thread, maybe it will dissappear quickly but hopefully most of you will glance at it before it does.
I know I blab on alot sometimes, sorry about that just how I am!
But..you guys are really helping me to grow, and I know how you all help each other, it is one of the most amazing things I have seen in my life. You generally cannot trust the internet, even a Christian website I used to go on was constantly trolled.
There may be a few here now and then, but not much I dare say. Who the heck would want to come here?
TO EACH, AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, MAY GOD BLESS YOUR HEARTS AND SOULS, MAY YOU SEE HOW WONDERFUL YOU ARE, AND LIKE ME, REMEMBER THIS PLACE WHEN IT ALL GETS TO BE TOO MUCH.
Who would have thought, that dementia life would lead us to some of the best people on earth?
You are so correct and you have already added so much to this blog. It seems like each new person brings something to this blog that we all can learn from. It is so sad when t almost monthly now we see one of the spouses going to a greater place and the grief the remaining spouse shares with us.
We all know we all are on the same path and this is the most wonderful support team I have ever been a part of. Joan is such a wonderful leader of this site. The success here I believe is because it is limited to "spouses". All Alz. is terrible for the family but there is this very special feeling one has for their spouse and we all can relate to that. It is not only the love shared between the spouses that makes it special it is that we are the 24 hour caregiver.
Coco we have had trolls and we quickly sent them packing. Unfortunately anything said on a web site is fair game to wind up elsewhere. It actually happened to me from this site and MarilyninMD found it by accident. That is one reason why I don't think posting pictures or contact info is a good idea. It is a sad thing that such a wonderful instrument like the Internet can be so abused.
I agree with Judith - I think one of the main reasons this site is successful and comforting is because it is "spouses only". It was my intention from the beginning to provide a place just for spouses to discuss their "unique" issues related to losing a husband or wife to Alzheimer's Disease. I was lost and alone with my thoughts, emotions, and guilts, before I started this site. You cannot imagine what a comfort it has been to me to know that so many others share the same feelings as I do.
This is a rotten, miserable journey we have been forced to take. I thank all of you for helping me through it.
And don't forget my Message Board Monitor, who keeps a sharp eye out for trolls and troubles.
And a big thank you from me too.. I couldn't help but shed a tear as I read Coco's post...Feeling a bit emtional today. Blab all you want Coco..this is the first place in the morning and the last place at night that I come to. You give me the strength to go on. xx
Julia,like you this is the place I have my morning coffee and the place I look at before saying my prayers at night. Coco,I love reading your posts,i can almost smell the flowers you talk about.And Joan,A BIG THANK-YOU for giving us a place to go to be understood as no where else would do!
Four score and seven years ago ["careful, she'll hear you"] our fathers brought forth ["no she won't, she's looking for trolls"] on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty ["we ARE trolls you blockhead], and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. ["oh, that's right"]
Now we are engaged in a great civil war ["over here, don't let the monitor see you"], testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived ["how can I tell?"] and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field ["she has green skin and long sharp teeth"] of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place ["umm, YOU have green skin and long sharp teeth"] for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not ["all right! allright! I don't know what she looks like"] dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor ["I don't even know what we're doing here"] power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget ["I don't either"] what they did here. It is for us the living ["I thought you said there were other trolls here"], rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far ["not me, that lady said that up there, 'trolls and troubles' she said"] so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take ["I don't want to meet any troubles. I wanted to meet trolls"] increased devotion to that cause for which they gave ["well there aren't any"] the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve ["how do you know?"] that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall ["I guess they 'monitored' them"] have a new birth of freedom -- and that ["sounds awful"] government of the people, by ["look, lets just go"] the people, for the people, shall ["good idea"] not perish from the earth.
It was always "my grandmother or my grandfather had that . . ." My wife is still quite young and vibrant. Those comments that came my way always seemed to push me and my BJ further to the margain. They meant well but I felt lost in this mess until coming here. The "for spouses" concept was brilliant. Sometimes this disease reminds me of a battle of sorts. Here all the players (spouses) are on one team pulling together regardless of who or what they are. We are all brothers/sisters in the same battle. Glad I found you all.
Yep, this site is often the 1st and last stop for many of us each day simply because Joan's posts and our message board comments are so incredibly on the mark. Lots of information, lots of understanding, lots of validation ... and a place for venting, which we all need at times. Simply the best site for AD spouses!! Even if only reading and not posting on any given day, I so often read while nodding my head up and down because someone has written exactly what I was thinking or feeling. Sadly, everyone on this site knows all too well what we are all going through, to one degree or another. So, yes, Coco ... this place is amazing!
All the other AD sites I stopped at all seemed to become too goody-goody. Somebody would post a real serious problem and they were despirate for answers and the replies always seemed to be nothing but simple plattitudes. It lead me to believe the members were not actually facing real AD situations. That certainly is NOT true here!
Only here have I seen the nitty, gritty, dirty, poopy, problems exposed in broad daylight and then have those postings followed up with serious applicable answers and suggestions that are truly helpful.
The ability to vent with being judged . . . ? Where else would you find that ? Thanks Joan
all of the above comments are so true and on target. I wonder how many of us need to come here to keep what sanity we have left. this site gives me peace, comfort and lets me know there are others in my situation. It is a teaching vessel with many different ideas and solutions. I thank all of you for this. It truly is a blessing to be a part of such a warm, loving site with such loving caring people.
Coco, keep talking, sharing, venting, and whatever else you do..... we all come here and do the same thing. It is allowed here.........thanks to Joan.......who has done an awsome job creating this site. Love all of ya..........
m-mman, I agree about the goody goody folks. I no longer bother to recommend this site to them. If they do check it out they don't stay here long enough to get some good input regarding their very real problems. There are also people who tend to deny any angry feelings and can't handle the honesty they find here.