Today I received a letter from a family member whose LO lives in the ALF where my husband is. She is asking that each family make at least a $100 donation so that the approx. 40 employees of the ALF (excluding dept. heads and admin people) can be given gift cards for the holidays equalling about $100 each.
Since I am pleased with the care my husband gets, I'm going to send her a check. It would simplify things for me because there are so many caregivers and different shifts, I would have no way to do this on my own. However, it does strike me as kind of odd that the ALF would give her their mailing list of the residents' families' addresses, regardless of the reason.
I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced anything like this? When my Dad lived in an ALF, a similar letter came from the ALF staff itself, or a member of their resident council (he wasn't in a dementia unit). Somehow, that seems like a better way to handle it.
i find it sort of disturbing that they ASK for funding for a communal gift for all paid workers at all. it should not be a mandate i would think. but i know many want to give something to good persons who give extra attention. but i dont think it should be general. if it were me i'd single out the best on each shift and do it that way individually but thats me. it gives incentives at least this way. i give my hospice people a gift and the aides that give the best help. not too much but to express the good attention they have given. divvi
Marilyn, it does seem strange to me, too, on three counts: for her to be the one to originate the idea, not the ALF: for her to designate the amount of donation, and for the ALF to give her the mailing list. Color me Scrooge, but I don't like the idea.
I agree with mary75*. I'm glad that didn'tcxomemy way. When DHis placed, I'm going to want to gift the workers who care for him--especially the good ones, but what is proposed is way beyond my means now, let alone then.
Better would be group gifts--like treat trays they can share at the work stations, and then small gifts to the special ones who have gone the extra mile for DH. IMHO.
Marilyn, I have worked in health care for many years and I never heard of such a thing. First it is a violataion of HIPPA for someone to to have the names and addresses of family members. Second most health care workers are professionals and do not work for or expect tips or gifts. Most places have very clear policies on cash gifts and do not solicit or allow staff to accept cash gifts. I would report this to administration if someone else has not already done so. It smells like a scam to me.
Wow, how things change. Way back In nursing school (20+ years ago) it was drilled into our heads that ANY tip or gift was a 100% ethical violation.
A unit gift (food tray) was OK but nothing individual. If something was offered you were supposed to flat refuse it. Providing care is your job, and for that you get paid. . . . The lesson was drilled in so deep that to this day I really dislike tipping is restaurants. Where does the job end and the bribe begin?
Maybe things have changed, I have not done direct patient care for a long while now.
m-mman, It is still considered unethical at the hospital where I work. If this is not a scam, I would still protest loudy that a family has the names and addresses of other families. Also there may be other families who would find it very difficult to give an additional $100.
My sister lives in ALF. ( I do all her financial business) Last year the residents gave whatever they wanted to a fund that was kept by another resident and then divided among the folks who work there. This resident is a former bank employee and was asked by the others to do this. The staff had told them they (staff) were not allowed to participate that this was strictly up to the residents. I really don't remember if this notice was given out to the residents or if it came by mail to me they have my address as I get the monthly newsletter and also the notice of rent payments due. My sister was ok with this as she appreciates the girls who help her with everything and wanted to do something. I expect they will do the same this year but I haven't heard anything yet. These workers are mostly CNA or kitchen help there may be one RN on staff at times but not always.
Wow seems like 100 dollars is a little much !!I would not give it that way. I agree to doing something for the staff but not in this way. Think I would be upset if names and addresses were given out without premission.
What you could do is send a box from Swiss Colony that has goodies for the whole staff to share in and can be had for way less than 100 bucks..I do that with my brother's family in TX since there is usually a large gathering and the Christmas Eve Buffet was a tradition..since I can't be there this is what I have done these past few years..go on line and look at the selections.
I don't trust that letter....this should not be a mandated thing by anyone..doesn't caring for a NH bound spouse already cost us a fortune?
In the first care facility my husband was in, a written letter was posted at the reception desk saying that if families wanted to give a Christmas gift for the staff, to leave a cash donation which would later be distributed evenly to all staff. The first year I didn't because DH hadn't been in that long and because the care wasn't great. Within a few weeks, I felt that the staff knew that I hadn't donated: the attitude cooled. The second year I did donate. The staff treated DH better, but not for long. The second care facility asked for nothing, but I left boxes of Mandarin oranges, nuts, other treats from time to time so that all shifts could enjoy them. Whatever good will that created did not, in the long run, affect the quality of care given. As you know, I eventually had to hire round-the clock care aides ; either that, or Eric was left with feces in his pressure sore, an oxygen machine on next to an electric heater that was turned on high, etc.
My husbands ALF sent me a letter also. Gifts and or tips are not allowed. They will accept a cash amount which goes into a pot shared by all the employees. No amount was named. I will do it because I think they deserve it. They also ask that you name individuals that you think should have special recognition. There are 3 in particular that I shall name. I also plan to give them a gift card inside a Christmas card. Too bad about the rules. DH is only there 2 1/2 months. I'm still very nervous about him being there. We pay the highest care fee. I just want to be sure he gets it. I go every day to see him. I often bring treats to the staff. I think these things make them realize that they are appreciated. The place isn't perfect, but they do work hard.
No way would I send a check in as they have requested you to Marylin. I agree with Carosi. I plan to give a gift inside a Christmas card to only TWO of the CNAs who care for my husband, they are the two who do their job, give him good care etc. The others will share in a beautiful candy arrangement my daughter and I will be making for the staff of my husband's hall. We also bring in treats from time to time such as biscuits from McDonalds, Pizza, subway etc. We do this throughout the months at different shifts. I have no desire to give to all staff when they are not involved in my husbands care, that is up to the families on those halls and up to the Administration of the Nursing Home to give the yearly bonus gift so to speak.
My husband has been in the facility for 7 months and some of the care would not change at all with a million dollar gift, it is the person they either care or they don't. They are either lazy or they are not.
I will also give to the Hospice Nurse and the Hospice CNA who come weekly and give such good care.
Further info--I realized that the letter came in the ALF's envelope with the ALF's postage meter label on it, so they must have done the mailing themselves. However, the family member who is "coordinating" this will receive the checks and consequently, will have family members' names and addresses. So it clearly is legitimate; I am undecided as to what to do, but reading everyone's posts is helping me come to a decision.
I guess if the ALF handles the issue there will be payroll taxes involved and this way they can skip them. I plan to give the aides cash in a xmas card.
Like said earlier - I don't like the expectation to tip. My mother was a waitress and the tips paid for our school lunches and other necessities but then she got to keep all the tips and did not have to pay tax on it. Today when you tip most restaurants puts it into a pool, then is divided among all the employees - wait, cook and bus staff, not just the one that gave me service. On top of that, it is reported so taxes are paid on it.
I would not send it - what if they have to claim it on their taxes (the facility may get a record of it)? I would not want money to go for staff that gave crappy care to my spouse. Of course, I would not have the money to give anyway.
I am leaning towards sending her less than she requested and giving my own gift card to one particular aide that really takes pains with my husband. Yesterday, I was there when she wanted to shower him and I asked if I could watch. She was great with him and seems to have the compassionate and caring attitude that deserves extra thanks.
Charlotte--yes, the facility will have a record of the donations. However, if I remember correctly, tips below a certain monetary level don't need to be reported? So I doubt there would be a tax issue, but maybe that's why they are buying gift cards instead of giving cash.
marilyn i think thats a wise decision. the purpose of a gift is to reward SPECIAL exceptional help and care. i am still surprised a facility even considers monetary gifts for ALL their paid employees as a group. even the local health care agency that i use strictly prohibits gifts of any kind and ask that you get permission from them to give anything to the employees. the general gift of say a goodie box (candy/fruit,cookies etc) for shifts as a whole for all to enjoy seems more practical. this whole idea of gift cards to everyone just irritates me.. haha. seems like the facilities are wanting to give a bit of a holdiay bonus and not wanting it to come from them but from the patients !
What an entitlement society this world has become. WE used to give the lawn guys a turkey or ham etc for the holidays like T'Giving, Christmas and Easter. But the quality of the work has slacked off to the point they are mow blow and go..so last year no bonus at all. I feel the same way toward a facility. Those who have a LO already in a facility are paying a high price now and for the staff to EXPECT more in terms of Christmas bonus is insulting. I would give to the caregivers there who took best care of my LO only. Just my thoughts.
Update on this--yesterday, I received a letter from the director of the facility, thanking the family member who sent the original letter asking for donations. However, it says that it is against company policy to give gifts or tips to staff members. The letter said gifts of food (as many of you suggested above) are completely acceptable. Also, it said that charitable donations in the name of a specific employee are fine (although, frankly, I don't know if that would be very effective in terms of expressing praise for a job well done).
I asked about whether a letter from me praising an employee's performance would really mean anything, and was told that yes, it would be considered for making her Employee of the Month (which comes with a monetary reward). So I'm going to put something together--I used to do award nominations frequently before I retired--have to put on the old thinking cap and remember some of the buzz words.
Marilyn, I agree with the others and yes, it is a HIPPA violation to give personal information to anyone who does not have a valid Release of Information (ROI) form on file. Sound like a letter and maybe a gift card in a holiday card would be appropriate for recognition of the outstanding caregivers.