Among other signs of the inescapable decline, I feel that Jeff is less apt to sit placidly with a pleasant look on his face (which has been his demeanor for years now,) and more apt to just seem a little tense, tired, peaked, and not inclined to find much to smile at.
At the same time I am, of course, getting much more hands-on with everything from cutting up his food to guiding him through every aspect of dressing.
I suppose this is the way things go and there's not anything much I could do to make his existence anything but as tolerable as possible. I've always gone for making it pleasant and fun (if I could,) but maybe fun is beyond us almost, and we'll have to settle for tolerable.
The inevitable progression of the flattening aspect perhaps? I'm sure I would feel better if he could keep the goofy weird smile 'til the end instead of the flat.
It has been a while since I've posted. My DH is not interested in much these days. He use to love going to the library, play music, watch t.v. Etc. nothing holds his attention. It's frustrating and the days are very long. The nights even worse because he is up and down all night. I also just realized he is urinating in the sink. I have been thinking of placing him in a NH because I have to work to provide for us. We Do not have long term ins. And financially we can not afford assisted living. My 85 year old mother came to visit 2 years ago and is still here because I needed help. I am taking care of her as well. So I have to begin the process of having him evaluated for the 2871b, which will determine if he is ready for a Nh, then apply for medical assistance. I have no doubt he will qualify, it is so unfortunate he can't go onto assisted living but The cost out of pocket is out of the question. We grieve for what was, what is, and what's to come!
Am seeing so much of the same thing, Emily. Loss of affect. . .flattening as you put it. Little to no initiative. Have care-givers who come in during day, when I'm at work and it is getting increasingly difficult to find things to occupy time. .
I was intrigued by research on Parkinson's that says that the lack of facial expression can be a cause and lack of emphathy an effect. I can't find the study now, only the more general http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/04/parkinsons-limits-ability-to-read-emotions/ The idea was that the way we relate to someone else's emotion is to arrange our own face to match their expression or words, and our own facial expression then triggers the feeling in us. So if someone's face is paralyzed, it not only means others can't read his emotions but he can't read other people's emotions.
Part of what I was reporting COULD turn out to have been excessive tiredness from a cold Jeff is now dealing with. He is still stuffy and hoarse today but has seemed in better spirits. Hard to say until signs become trends. Now I'm hoping I can stave off the cold myself with plenty of salt water neti pot rinses.