I'm not sure if it's the shift toward shorter days as we head into winter, or just a sign of decline. For quite some time I'd try to keep Jeff up until 8pm...usually by having him watch tv with me (we like Rick Steves' Europe travelogs...even though Jeff doesn't really follow anything much.) But it's been harder and harder and I've been pushing it back, to 7:45, then 7:35. Tonight I just put him to bed at 7. Waiting to see if this will cause him to wake up and try to put my jeans on too early. (Maybe I'll leave my jeans out of sight for a change.)
The other possibility, if it's not seasonal, is that it's part of the aging backwards, and he's hitting the toddler bedtime phase.
emily, I am having the same issue with Tom. Tonight he went to bed at 7:30 & he is starting to sleep some during the day too. In his case I think it’s due to a decline, because he is having other issues too. For the past few days he seems to be having trouble hearing. When I talk to him he is constantly saying, “What?” And when I repeat myself he looks at me & tries to repeat what I said except he never gets it right. He also is more confused than normal. He stayed with our daughter today when I went to get our van worked on & she noticed the hearing issue & the confusion. We both think that it might be that he doesn’t understand what we are saying. Also he is starting to say my name as Eileen not Elaine. Not all the time, but he said it to our daughter & it surprised her (he refers to me by my name to our kids because he doesn’t realize they are his children).
Very interesting about the hearing thing. I had forgotten that my dh started the "what" to almost everything I said about 2 weeks ago. I even told him we maybe should have his hearing tested.
Another thing has also happened in the past two weeks. He isn't eating as much and if I don't suggest we eat something he doesn't seem to think about food at all. I weighed him the other night and he had lost 5 pounds. The weight loss could be from him not taking one of the medications that he was on for his rages that he no longer needs because he gained weight when he first went on that med.
It was the not hearing and me having to keep telling him again that forced the issue in 2008. I wrote it off as 'selective hearing' for a long time, then I had had enough. I told him he needed to go find out if there was a problem with hearing or what. After diagnosis it has ended or more I know what needs to be done. Repeating is cause he doesn't remember.
Yeah, I'm guessing that the "hearing" problem isn't really about the ears. It's about the brain being able to catch and process what was said. Similar to Jeff's visual problems. He can see just fine, but his brain can't make sense of it. He's starting to be more "hearing impaired" lately also. I may have to rephrase things 3 or 4 times before it finally connects.
Wow! I could have written all of the above! The not hearing thing -only I'm sure his hearimg is ok - He just isn't processing what we say, so I get the "what?" everytime I say something to him. If I repeat it slowly and make sure I have his attention, he usually will understand it. And the not eating - losing weight - then goes back to eating again. He goes to bed around 6 p.m., but sleeps all night until around 6 a.m. No naps during the day.
Yes, same thing here. I didn't know anyone else went to bed as early as 6:00 or 7:00. DH wants to go to bed right after we eat supper around 5:30 or 6:00. I try to keep him up until 7:00. I think trying to make sense of things all day with their damaged brains just wears them out. He sleeps about 12 hours. Same thing with the hearing. I know he hears me but sometimes looks at me like he doesn't understand. His brain just doesn't process.
You are so right about the brain not being able to process quickly. I find that I use very few adjectives or adverbs when I speak. Just like teaching a baby to talk. His progression with AD is not fast although he is very cagey and I know his long term and short term memory are gone. There are days when he doesn't know who I am. Saw me putting my clean clothes in dresser and asked if I had finally decided to move in. Oh my. That really hurts. I don't think he knows the actual meaning of marital or parent/child relationship. Memories of events and people are one thing but memories of function and relationships are lost also.
My dh used to stay up until 11 pm but now goes to bed at 9 pm, rises at 4:30 to 5 am., fixes himself breakfast, lays down in front of tv and sleeps until almost 9:30, naps throughout the day. I can still leave him 2 or 3 hours at a time for which I am thankful. I asked him to wash a window, a job that was always "his" work. Now he asks how to do it.
We were married on the 4th of December. One day I asked him if he remembered the weather that day. He said NO. I said it was a beautiful sunny day. He said that figured because he wouldn't have gone anywhere if it had been raining.
We keep a lot of house supplies we buy in bulk from Costco in the garage and it seems like now he can't remember and/or translate directions into action. I can ask him to go to the garage and get me paper towels, toliet paper,etc. and after about 5 mins. he always comes back empty handed. They are in plain site where we always put them. He would have to be blind not to see them. Seems like these small type things happen almost on a weekly basis.
I will try for a later bedtime tonight. Don't know if it will help, but last night he asked me ridiculous questions (can't even remember what) at both 2am and 5am. Luckily he settled back down when I told him to.
I left the room to go to the bathroom last night and when I returned a few minutes later he had turned off the lights and tv - we had been watching a basketball game and talking about the record about to be set by this coach. I continue to be surprised by these things. Am I still in denial that he has az? When will I ever accept this is our life now and things won't be better? He was ready to go to bed it was maybe 8 p.m. we usually are up until after 11. Sometimes when he gets up for the bathroom trip at night he will start to get dressed for the day especially if he has something to do the next day - doesn't matter if it is 3 a.m. really hard to convince him to get back in bed.
I am up several times a night with my DH. He goes to the bathroom and has started urinating in the sink. I have started putting a bright colored towel in the sink, which seems to help. He also tries to get dressed and I have to keep telling him together back in bed. I am exhausted by morning. His daycare bus picks him up at 7:00, and I go to work early so I can earn extra money to pay for his daycare. This is such a hard journey. I should begin the nursing home search, but this will be our last holiday in our home together. That will be my new years resolution.
My dh never could hear. Last year I finally got him to agree to hearing aids which I thought helped immensely and he didn't notice anything. He lost them - $4K down the drain, or wherever he left them. So, I am used to the "what" all the time. But, it does seem like he is doing it more frequently now and I have also noticed that he doesn't understand much of the time and I have to re-phrase several times until he seems to understand. Poor fella, I know he tries and the fact that he doesn't see things right in front of his face and goes to the garage for something and comes back empty-handed because he doesn't remember what he went for - I think that really gets to him. I can only imagine his frustration. I love this man so much and I really miss him!
About the hearing issue..I have that from time to time and the volume goes up on the Tv...take him to the ENT or Fam Practice and have his ears checked out..could be wax build up. Every few months I take DH to the ear doc and get the goop out..and it helps with that volume thing.
Charlotte, the selective hearing thing was an early sign I missed..I thought he was just ignoring me or wrapped up in what he was doing. But even when he asked a question I would repeat the answer because he " didn't hear me". The sleeping more, the afternoon snoozing is changing how he sleeps at night. Often I find he has gone to bed but is not watching tv at all like he used to do. But he is not asleep either, maybe dozing a little but not really sleeping..When I walk in usually about 11 or so he " wakes" whereas he never used to do that. The eating is another issue too. If I don't press the issue that he needs to eat something ( he is diabetic and on insulin) he won't eat at all..just zero appetite. WE were in the doctor's last week and his insulin was cut back and the Victoza was too to see if we can stimulate the appetite.So far I don't see any improvement in that area but we have to watch the morning glucose levels to see how that is going. He was getting too many lows. But we have a fam practice doc who still wants to see him " lose about 7 more..be good for his heart". This guy, despite my telling him, does not get the alz connection with eating and wt loss. The one thing my DH will focus on is that he should not eat since that doc wants him to lose a few lbs..The neuro does not agree and the cardiologist is not concerned about his wt, he gets it.
Oh one other thing... I have been suspicious but now am dead certain, DH cannot follow the plot of a new movie..if it is one he has seen many times before something still clicks in and he will even quote the lines...as in the Godfather flicks or even Saving Private Ryan which he does not think he has seen before but there you are..he quotes a line. But the other night Pride and Predjudice was on starring Donald Southerland and he could not keep track of who Mr Darcy was....I had to explain it over and over and over...
Yeah, movies are tough. Nowadays I try to stick to something light. He dozes through it anyway, but if it's violent or loud it clearly disturbs him. He though Avatar was about Vietnam.
I think they get into a routine and they like that. When it is dark outside DW wants togo bed so that is around 6:30 now. She still wants to watch TV in bed. I think it is odd how they know what the routine is, they remember that. I mean she wants her shoes off, change clothes for bed, and her pills. She will start asking for these thing as soon as she knows it is time for bed.
I have help from Assisted Living come each evening to put my wife to bed. This is at 8:00 PM. Once she is in bed I can watch TV, read, or work on the computer until time for me to go to bed. This is also when I have my glass of red wine and piece of dark chocolate.