Anyone taking medication for depression, what was the deciding factor for seeking help? I think i am slipping into a depression. Life feels really hopeless, nothing to be happy about. I can't stop crying, it's been going on for nearly 2 weeks!!! When I look at my husband, all I feel is loss, he is not the man I married 32 years ago. I am overwhelmed with responsibility that I don't want!!! I know things will never get better and that I am going to be alone, so there is nothing to be optimistic about. He knows I am struggling and for that I feel bad. I know it makes him sad to see me this way but I can't help it. I want to run away! Can anti-depressants help me cope with this..l don't know what else to do....
Yes, they can help. Many here use them. I tried but couldn't bear the side effects of Lexapro, but I understand it's worth trying something else if the first doesn't suit you.
It looks like you are new here. Welcome to my website. Probably 90% (very unscientific guess) of the Alzheimer spouses here and everywhere else in the world are on some kind of anti-anxiety or anti-depressant. I was at the point where I couldn't get out of bed in the morning. I just wanted to pull the covers over my head and sleep all day. 50mg. of Zoloft once a day has kept me going for about 3 years.
I started this website in 2007, because I needed a place that dealt with my unique issues as a spouse of an Alzheimer patient. It is now a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". If it applies to you and your spouse, there are 4 sections for EOAD (early onset AD- now called YOUNG onset) members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD There is a great section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide. You can go to the top of this page, click on "search", and type in EOAD, making sure the "topic" circle is filled in. All of the EOAD discussions will come up - there are about a dozen of them.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
When you feel comfortable, please tell us more about you and your spouse.
Hi Joan..I'm not new, signed on in early October. Your website is amazing, I really feel a connection through your blogs, most things I couldn't have said better myself!! I am really struggling. We are three and a half years into his diagnosis, but it feels like a lifetime. I am trying my best to be good to him and for him but I fear it is a losing battle. That is why I am going to see our doctor on Wednesday. I have emotionally disconnected from him and that helps me not loose it when I see him struggle with the things he used to be able to do, so I really don't understand why I can't stop crying! I am lost in my own pity-party and can't seem to get out!!! I really hope medication will help me get back on track with the caregiving...thanks Emily, I hope I won't suffer from side effects, something surely has to give!!!
RJC, you are doing the right thing by seeing your doctor...an antidepressant may very well be what you need, and should help you cope with this horrific disease. I have been taking Paxil for several years...it helps with the depression and anxiety/panic issues. Keep in mind that you may have to try different meds, as everyone reacts differently to them. Be patient, and I'm sure you will find one that works for you. And keep posting on this site...to vent, or to just let us know how you are doing...because the support and advice you will receive here is priceless!
Cymbalta for me. Yes, it makes this bearable! Great that you recognize that you need help.....that is the hardest part. I am a critical care nurse and was in denial that I needed anything. I knew that I could handle anything! But, as we all know, it is much different when it is your own spouse. I, too, have emotionally disconnected. That and the Cymbalta actually make me feel really good and more like the positive person that I really am. Please be aware that it takes about 2 weeks for them to reach peak effect. It was at almost the 2 week mark that I realized one day that I was actually feeling better. Be patient with yourself!!!
By the way, if you have any type of chronic pain (I have SI joint dysfunction from many years of pulling and lifting on patients) Cymbalta is FDA approved for chronic pain relief. That is how my precious PCP got me to try it. She knew that I wouldn't admit that I needed it for depression....but was willing to try anything for the dreadful hip pain. I get the double benifit as it really does make the pain much more tolerable also.
Oh Aunt B that is so good to hear...I just needed to know there is something to help with this horrible situation. I was always such a positive, outgoing person until AD robbed me of that. I know I can't be mad at the world forever and I certainly can't take it out on my husband, he deserves the best of me, not the worst!
Take a "happy" pill each evening......I don't think you will regret it!!! I am one of the lucky ones with ZERO side effects. I really do feel great......not just saying that.
I used Serenity Formula - an herbal formula - for the depression for a time. I made it through that phase but if I need to again, I would not hesitate to go for it again.
RJC, without my "blue chill pill" I could not make it at all. I take 100mg of Zoloft and it really makes me human again. I have no side effects from this except the world is a happier place not only for me but for all of those that come within my path. For many years,,,, all before ad with husband, I needed something but thought I was handling life ok. I was wrong. Until I started taking the "chill" pill, I never realized how hard I was to live with. Now with the added stress/ pressures of living with a spouse with AD I really need it and had to get it increased to 100mg. daily. Please do something for you and your spouse. You will not regret it. Hugs for you ,,,,,,,,,, hope you have a better evening...
RJC, yes yes yes and again I say yes!!!! Please get this going as soon as possible. You asked when we knew that we needed to do something...I knew it when I couldn't stop crying for 4 days and I got snippy with a friend of mine over such a little thing. If you have been feeling that way for 2 weeks it is definatly time to do something. I have tried paxil and celestra but I think I need to try talking to my dr. about the cymbalta. I have a lot of pain issues and the depression makes them worse. There is NOTHING wrong with getting extra help!!!
I also vote for Cymbalta. I don't take it.....yet, but DH was put on it for mild depression. Only 30 mg made a difference. He also has constant back pain and when I heard it was FDA approved for pain, I asked his doctor about it and she increased the doseage to 60 mg. It has helped with the pain enough that he's almost off the hydrocodone. No side effects either.
RJC, I take 40 mg of citalopram (generic celexa) every night. I have been on it for 3 years now. I started taking it after I had a problem coping with my husband's illness (FTD). I don't think I could handle this without it.
Do you have family support? Is there an Alzheimer's support group near you? Sometimes this support can be helpful and maybe avoid medication. If you aren't able to share your fears, feelings and get some understanding from somebody, then see your doctor as you are experiencing depression and can be helped with medication. This online support group welcomes you and can be a great source of comfort and help in coping with loved ones with dementia.
Hello RJC: Your wise to ask the question. First, speak to your doctor about it. If one brand bothers you, another might work. The doc will help with that. We all are different. For me the anti-depressants have probably saved me. Tried to go off them but no such luck. The disease, having to give up our home etc., the routine, a guy that should really be working bla bla bla; it has all hit me very hard. Not to mention watching my very lovely wife drift away. Saving your self is critical, do what you have to. One day, I/we will be free of these meds.
A very big thank-you to all for your honesty in answering my question. I had no idea so many have the need for medication. I feel better now about my decision to see my doctor and get some assistance...my daughter says thanks as well as she has been very concerned about my well-being!
I just take Tylenol p.m. so I can sleep all night. I fought taking anything but find I "rerun the day, preview tomorrow and worry about next week" when I go to bed. I just thought I was strong enough to say a prayer and drift off - now I still say my prayer but I do take a pill and it is so much better to get those 6 hours sound sleep.
I find that a Xanax a day keeps the blues away. . or at least it can feel that way sometimes. .An occasional Ambien is also a necessity when sleep deprived. I have regular check ups and monitoring . . no concerns. .