I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read today's blog. I realize that many of our veterans are familiar with the topic, but I am hoping all of our newer members will take the advice to heart. It can really help calm the nerves of everyone involved.
Please post comments and suggestions here. Thank you.
We try to stay to routine, but fortunately a little change is not upsetting. I did notice with the move earlier this month that he has had time adjusting. I know he misses his 'buddies' from Prosser. One or the other will call him daily. We use to use only about 100 minutes a month - now that has increase so I think I will have to keep an eye on it so we don't go over.
Joan-I agree routine is important here too. Like you I always set everything out for Paul in the mornings and all the rest of the day.He would not know how to even work the toaster anymore. the in and outs of daily living is what he has lost. He does not know how to sit down on the toilet unless you instruct him on each move. Routine with this is also important-you have to sit him down the same way everytime or he will lock his feet and legs and just pee in the floor. When we shift from routine - I am the one that pays!!
we tried a trip last fall and spent the night. B woke up in a panic because he didn't know where we were. I took the day off work last Monday. the plan was to drive in the country and enjoy the fall leaves. He couldn't get the car fixed on time and even though I still took the day off, it threw his schedule off and it was a disatrous day for me. I see how important routine is for him. (and me)
Joan, my comment doesn't speak to routine, about which you are right on target, but about bar stools. Is it table, counter, or the even higher, traditional bar height? I'm asking because as Sid progresses and mobility decreases you might need to make another adjustment and doing it before it's needed might be easier. We took most meals at our bar, the higher type. When getting onto the barstool became difficult I was forced to present my DH's meals at the table where he could get into the chair or use his wheelchair. It was a difficult transition for him because his mental function was much worse. I wished I had moved meals to the table earlier on. Just an idea to think about.
Ah, but Weejun, you are forgetting, or perhaps you didn't know, that I am what Nancy B* called, when she met me - a little doll person. (LOL) I'm almost 5 feet tall. Almost. Which means I need a step stool to climb up onto the normal size bar stools. So I bought Joan size bar stools. Much lower than normal ones. Since Sid is so much taller than me, he fits easily into them with no problem. Lunch and supper are eaten in the den in front of the TV. He sits in his lift lounge chair with the food on a snack table.
Everything is better because of the Risperdal. If it weren't for that, minor tantrums would be major blow ups. Travel to hotels is very difficult. In fact, I don't think we will do it anymore, because the change in routine and bathroom location gets him too agitated. And his agitation stresses me out.
Routine and everything in the same place is so very important. If his radio headphones aren't in the exact spot in his nightstand drawer, he throws a fit. I really do think the over reaction to such small changes is because he knows he has no way of recalling where he put them, and it frustrates him.
At the last neurologist visit, I told the doctor that I am the duck's feet. Sid's life runs smoothly because I am under the surface paddling like crazy to make sure his routine is stable and everything is where and how it should be.
Apparently routine is needed for the caregiver as well as the receiver. I have gotten into the routine of getting my wife's evening pills ground up and in her applesauce during the final portion of "Jeopardy" each evening. Sunday I do it during a commercial of "60 Minutes". Last Sunday a friend came by for a visit, leaving a little before the aide was to come to put her to bed. The next day I discovered that I had not given her the pills for that evening.
Yes, marsh, you're right, I'm the one who needs routine it seems. If dh doesn't take his pills when we sit down for a meal it may be forgotten. I now put the pills on a napkin and fill a glass with water before I put a plate down - if I don't forget! This works best because he was dropping a pill or telling me one wasn't in the pill minder and I didn't know if I'd forgotten a pill or not. So I try to keep on routine as he takes pills at every meal and at bedtime. Two of the pills have adverse reaction to one another if taken less than four hours apart so it is important they are taken just about on time. I've never been too organized and am learning it is a must now.
Routine is important for us also. The problem is it kind of locks you into doing the same thing, at the same, in the same way, every day. I long for a change. One Sunday, we went to a different church at a different time. What a mistake. We have been there before, but it was hard for him. Keeping the same routine is good for the person with AD and helps for a calm day, but can be difficult for someone who longs for a change.
Routine, I had such a routine with my husband that now I am lost without that routine. So please don't wish to hard for a change. Some changes are not really what you want.
Kadee I hope a time will come soon, when you are more healed, that you can find a lovely new routine, always holding your dear one in your heart, yet having time to enjoy life.
I learn so much here from all of you. I am now much kinder to my mate, more patient, and don't get frustrated as much as I used to.
Though I see why routine is so important, I too long for a moment to get away, even for just an afternoon. Working on that.