Just for a little while "My Paul" was here! I have been so upset all day ,not even his fault this time.( Our daughters are fussing amoung themselves and today I got into the middle and ask them to please STOP) so now they are upset with me.Of course that just upsets me so much to not be able to fix whatever is going on with them. So I had been crying and very emotional all afternoon-when out of the blue Paul came over to me-put his arm around me(which he has not done for a long time)and ask what was wrong.Then said if I did this to you I am sorry. I of course lost it completely and cried harder than ever.But at least this time I was in his arms like old times.Too bad it will not last but at least HE was here for a little while. So I have decided that even when we do not think THEY are here-deep down They are always with us.Sorry for the long post but with a birthday -an anniversary-a hospital visit and now the daughters fighting all this week-I hav had about all I can take.
Oh Betty, you have been through so much lately. I’m glad that Paul could give you some comfort today. I know that our kids don’t realize how their action towards each other affects us. I am just like you & I try to make everything right. We have enough to deal with without having to deal with them too. For him to apologize when it wasn’t his fault…..well I know how you feel because Tom does that too & it breaks my heart. Hugs to you!
*tears* and an awwwwwwww............... I am so sorry you have had so much on your plate of late...but delighted you were given this gift of your Paul. I believe with all my heart, all that I am, that our loved ones are indeed still "there", just trapped. Once I was given proof positive of this, my whole attitude changed and life became a bit better. ((hugs))
Thanks Elaine for the hugs I need all of them but the ones from Paul were extra special today.I try to understnd when the girls are mad at each other buit all seems so petty compared to the nose dives our lives hve taken. But like you and I and most Mom's,we still try to fix IT.
How happy I am for you. One thing I am learning about this disease is that it doesn't take much to give us moments of happiness. I treasure my fleeting "gifts" from dh with all my heart because I never know if I will get another one.
I have learned to treasure those little comments about " I don't think I could take such good care of myself if it weren't for you" or " I am so glad you said yes" and my favorite " If you plan to run away let me know so I can come with you".... Yes they do know on some level something is wrong...and still deeper within them they know they are loved, cared for and want to share back what they can for as long as they can..we just have to learn to recognize it.
Just had to tell you.. Dh has a cold , gone through so many hankies...so he washed them all, hung them out to dry and even ironed the hankies, while I was quilting and had the iron on.... You just never know ...back for just short time..one day is good another not so good.
It does happen sometimes. I don't know which is worse - having him gone all of the time or the pain of having him pop in once in awhile. It happened to me recently, and I wrote a blog about it - http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/Hereturned.htm
Just yesterday, I sat in the sun (already cold here) and we shared a cup of coffee. I talked, as I often do, knowing its going nowhere and boom. Next day out of the blue, my Barbara worked hard to explain (with her limited vocabulary) how much she enjoyed our visit. We've had hundreds and hundreds of such visit and all that talk went to outerspace but NOT this time. I was floored. All day long she kept refering to it. I'm trying to work on slowing my speech for her. Your comment struck me. It can happen. It really was nice.
Love the saying samismon22, that is the way I try to take each day,,,,, moment by moment.... the big picture hurts too much. The closer it gets that my dh is leaving the more I try to find good moments. I am so glad bak and soolow that you are building good memories under such horrible conditions....... May you both have a great night