Not signed in (Sign In)

Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

      CommentAuthorNew Realm*
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2007 edited
    I bring this up only because it really bugged me today that my DH's brothers are not calling. Two just do not use the phone, so to speak. If my DH calls them that is OK. They talk a bit. Another calls every 1-2 months, and baby Brother used to called at least once a week. The two who used to call fairly regular are calling much less frequently~~in fact, DH has pretty much been the one doing the calling. Well, each of these brothers were interested and asking questions about DH and how affected he was with AD. They asked , which gave me the impression they really cared, wanted to understand what DH is suffering with.

    This weekend DH called baby bro after asking me 10 times when we last heard from him. Baby bro hasn't called us in a few months. The calls have been initiated on our end lately. Well, bro wasn't talkative, short answers only, asked no questions of DH. Said he was real busy and the conversation was cut short. This hurts me. DH doesn't think too much about it. He is able to forget when he last heard from someone. Anyone else have this happening with the ADLO's siblings?
    People and their reactions differ so much. Some people just can't handle it.
    Fortunately my husband's sibs are very solicitous of him. His brother in Colorado occasionally has him out for a week or so, and the brother here picks him up to go visit their mother who's pretty much an invalid. His sister makes an effort to get together with us when she's in town. So I guess I'm lucky there.
    But I have certainly heard of people just backing off because it makes them uncomfortable or confused.
    • CommentAuthormarsha
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2007
    My husband's children have stopped calling him, sending him cards, etc. The one who lives in town doesn't even see him. They think he doesn't know what's going on. But, they want to take him to football games (with his tickets) so they can "share" the good experience.

    Uncomfortable or confused?

    That's a total cop-out from adults. With the aging population EVERYONE is certain to face this situation sometime soon within their own family. Or, is it OK to operate with the "ostrich" theory?
    • CommentAuthorRenee
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2007 edited
    OK I know it is not good but, in our case it is very hard on some of the family because they know the out come we lost my father in-law to this decease and our children as well as the nieces, nephews great nieces and nephews can see how much in 3 years he has changed. His sister calls but he doesn't talk much to her we now do a once a month dinner. She is disabled as well so I go get her she comes to dinner last time he made it threw dinner and then went to his chair to not say one more word.. She and I played cards. This was more beneficial for me than anyone. Here is why she confirmed to me he is a lot worse than 6 months ago. OK Back to the kids it is very rough on them. His one sister has no idea he is sick as she hasn't called in 4 years. She will be sorry one day.. His older brother is a snot and hasn't called in a year...Oh well those who care will not be sorry in the end they will be happy they knew him..Renee
    • CommentAuthorDenille
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2007
    My DH has 6 siblings. Two of which also has the disease. It is really difficult for the rest of them to deal with Alzheimers. They all saw their Dad go through it and die at the age of 46. I know they are thinking of us all the time. All live at least 200 miles away so no one visits. They are all very supportive but emotionally have a really hard time. His younger brother was the closest to my DH and his wife called the other day to say hello and to say that He (the brother) was so emotional over what is happening to his family that it was hard for him to talk without crying. I'm sure they are worried that they are next. I am blessed to have my family close and they are a great help to me. My brother just moved from Washington state to be near. My Mom lives around the corner. God bless them!
    I am so sorry to hear of you that don't have support. My heart cries for you. Just know you have our support through this wonderful web site.
    We all know what you are going through.
    • CommentAuthorLeighanne
    • CommentTimeSep 4th 2007
    Robert has 2 sisters and 1 older brother. His brother's never been one to initiate phone calls or get togethers. Well, that's pretty much how it was with all of them. Robert was always the one to start the phone calls. We see his older sister at church. She went through several months of not speaking, but now seems to be coming around. His little sis lives in OH so we don't see or hear much from her. I think she keeps tabs on him through their parents.

    So, outside of Robert's parents, we don't see his family much. It would mean a lot to Robert for them to come get him and spend the day with him. I guess everybody gets in their routines and busy schedules and they just don't carve out much time to spend with Robert. I'd like to say it would be different if one of them had AD, but I don't know. I know Robert would be there for them, because he always has whenever he thought he was needed. I'm not so sure about myself.

    • CommentAuthorpat
    • CommentTimeNov 26th 2007
    My lo has 2 brothers left, Both have alz, They both live 50 miles away. We see them occasionally. I try and keep in touch with them. But these days, seem like everyone's plate is full. And other family members are quite different now.
    but I understand I think.Thank GOD my children are so supportive . I am so blessed to live close to both of them. I am praying for those who aren't so fortunate.
    Thanks to all who share on this site, we need to support each other,