I like going to the movies with DH because we can be together and enjoy some time without the pressure of conversation. DH is not very good at conversation. The problem is Hollywood has apparently decided to help bring awareness to AD by requiring EVERY movie to touch on it. I guess that’s a good thing for AD awareness, but not for my DH. DH likes to pretend his condition doesn’t exist - we don’t talk about it, he doesn’t go to the doctor for it – therefore, it doesn’t exist. Until it’s on a big screen in front of him. He gets so upset, he gets as white as a ghost, and sometimes is physically ill. So much for “escaping” to the movies :(
Last night’s movie: 50/50.
This is a wonderfully emotional movie about what a person goes through when diagnosed with cancer. It really narrowed in on the isolation and loneliness experienced by the cancer victim, and the selfishness (human nature) of his loved ones and friends. In the end, you do get to see that there was some real “caring” going on; it wasn’t all as selfish at it seemed. (It did provoke some self reflection about my own worry over what my DH’s condition is doing to me – and how I should probably stop that and focus more on how to make it easier for him.)
For some reason, the writers decided to give the main character’s father Alzheimer’s disease. The father was ushered around by the mother – always compliant, yet “out of it” – basically just “there.” There was one relatable line where the cancer victim’s therapist says, “So your mother has a husband who can’t talk to her, and a son who won’t. That makes you a real dick.” However, overall it was a very superficial treatment of the disease and it seems to me as though the writers were just checking the box. Sympathetic and loveable leading man – check; adorable and witty female lead – check; character with Alzheimer’s disease – check!
My unhappiness about the Alzheimer’s trivialization aside, it was a great movie – but they really should hand you a box of Kleenex with your ticket!
The movie is based on a true story, so it's possible the father really did have AD. I don't know.
I have also noticd that Alzheimer's Disease is showing up in a lot of TV shows. It can be good for raising awareness, depending upon how realistically it is portrayed.
That’s the key, Joan – a realistic portrayal – and with this movie I think they missed the mark.
In “Friends with Benefits” (yes, we saw it – that’s how desperate I am to escape with DH), I was impressed with the scripting of the scenes with the AD dad. They demonstrated how sometimes he’s fine, and at other times he’s not altogether there. They also showed the dad having angry outbursts caused by frustration. Very realistic – and well done.
In Planet of the Apes, they depicted the loss of what once was, and meanness and even violence that can be aimed at the caregiver – again very realistic.
I just feel if they are going to gloss over it, why bother?
But Mary, for me. that is my reality. My husband is, as you said of the movie,-- always compliant, yet “out of it” – basically just “there.” And I do as the mother is the movie did--I just usher him around. We have not had any angry outbursts. I know, I have been very fortunate. My MIL was the same. She was simply a walking zombie for six years.
We saw 50/50 a couple of days ago. It did fit with my reality right now. A few months ago it my reality was quite different. The line Mary quoted from the therapist really hit home. DH doesn't talk to me. That was one of the points in the movie when I cried.