I had a really strange thing happen this evening. While I was feeding my DW, she was taking her hands and going thru the motions of feeding herself. She is not aware that she is doing this and it is really weird to watch. She thinks she is feeding herself. She is moving her hand up to her mouth while I am puttin a spoon into her mouth.
Moorsb- my dw did the same thing. It was bizarre and painful to watch. Sometimes she would hold the utensils, and keep them in the plate, and she opened her mouth but could not bring the food to her mouth. It still causes me a lot of pain remembering that.
My wife will miss the plate and try picking up nothing. She sometime puts an empty fork in her mouth or tries to spear the little table repeatedly that I put on her lap. She now almost always just resorts to her fingers.
Things are deteriorting quickly around here and now I'm talking about the life I used to have, if I remember that accurately it's been so long.
Lynn did this for awhile too Bob. Disconcerting isn't it..... I am sorry Frank, it is all just so hard. I didn't like it when the time came that Lynn couldn't even lift a spoon to feed himself. Now of course he needs to be fed, but *sigh* it is easier than it was watching him struggle.
Once utencils became too hard to use, I switched my husband to finger foods. With a contrasting color plate and a little cueing to find the food (couldn't see it due to agnosia), he could feed himself. Now that he's in the ALF, they feed him. Apparently, it's quicker and that's what they're interested in. I was trying to preserve independence as much as possible, but a facility isn't interested in that.
Marilyn, I am very sorry to hear that your ALF is that way. Tragic. Perhaps you could find the correct person to talk to that will address this issue. I know at Lynn's nursing home he is evaluated twice a year, more if I ask, to see if there are ways they can help Lynn with his eating and drinking. He can't eat by himself at all. But if I put a cup in his hand, he will bring it to his mouth and take a sip. Just last week they changed his cups again to make it easier for him to hold and take a drink by himself. For over a year he couldn't do this, once he could hold a cup again I talked with dietary and rehab and they strongly encouraged it. Best of luck!
Nikki, thanks for the input. I am completely satisfied with the personal care, medical care, safety, etc. at this ALF. I basically have adjusted my attitude and realize that as long as his weight is being maintained, I'll accept the staff feeding him. I am trying to be practical and realize that institutional care cannot be the same caliber as home care, period. And actually, my hubby is grateful for any and all help given him, so he actually might prefer being fed (no real way to know). I am thrilled that he is happy there and is behaving; the staff thought--since he came directly from a geripsych unit--that they were getting a handful. Turned out he is very easy to care for now that the meds were adjusted. Let's hope it lasts.
DH admitted to our son this morning that he didn't know to use the fork or spoon and let our son feed him. He will not let me do that most of the time. Son can't be here all the time so can't put the feeding task on him. DH has lost considerable weight and PA is starting him on drug to increase appetite. Has this worked for anyone?