My daughter was here last night. I mentioned I made a dental appoint for her dad with a new dentist. Told the dentist dh had az, was not a difficult patient but they were not to bring up the topic of money or fees with him. Daughter said I shouldn't have said he had az but cognitive disorder. Here dh doesn't even remember her boys who are all over 20 and she still doesn't want to accept it.

Can any of you tell me what it will actually take for this girl (woman of 53) to accept the disease?

PrisR...I love your view point! :) If your plan does not work, Shirley can repeat as necessary until it sinks in.

The Alzheimers rep who leads our support group told one woman in exactly that same way, after first telling her she was in denial. Your daughter obviously knows very little about this disease. You might just kindly tell her that it's not fair for you to argue with someone who knows so much less about this than you do and that you have an unfair advantage in any discussion of this nature.

During this period of my hb journey, I got so tired of hearing denial statements (and it hurt my feelings, like I was making it up.) that I hung my small sign over the kitchen sink. It reads: "THOU SHALT NOT WHINE". Most people implied that I was whining. He is now stage 7. and the sign still hang there as a reminder. Strange to say, when each one saw him have a meltdown...they acted like it was a new deal. I told them all that I had tried to tell them! One good meltdown over nothing usually get the point across.

As Jack Nicholson said in the film " A Few Good Men"..." SHE CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" ( him yelling at Tom Cruise in the court) not me yelling...

bak,
My youngest step daughter has stayed with her dad for about 10 days on two different occasions and I really still don't think she quite understands it. She was here in April for a couple of days but I was here to do the lions share of the work while the girls visited with their dad. If they could see him now it would shock them. Yes they know his walking is slow but not it is getting a bit worse and yesterday when the doctor wanted him to take PT he said no he would not go. So tonight after he goes to bed, I am going to re arrange the family room a bit since he is knocking things over. He wants he newer recliner ( it is one of the Ekorness stressless kinds with a foot stool..we have matching ones..) I am going to pull out the older one, mine, and use it, so one of the foot stools can be stowed in another room and let him have his ( for now) and then pull a smaller end table out to put on the right side of his chair with another stonger one between us,it will clutter the room a little but he can't knock the tables over..the chair I thin he can but one step at a time...( just now he asked where we play a dvd..I see some big slips of late...seems like a jump since I go back from Iceland or maybe I was just gone long enough to now see the changes..you know put a finger on them.

I am seriously thinking about sending the girls each a notice that they need to start saving an airline ticket fund for themselves so they can get here more than once a year to see their dad..two live overseas..and I can't afford the airfare and frankly they should be doing this..if they can go on all sorts of holidays....somewhere they need to make their dad a priority in it all.

I agree that it is very frustrating when family members--especially children--don't get it. After numerous attempts to educate, I finally decided to let it go. I needed to foucs all my energies on caregiving, frustration with others was just an additional burden I didn't need. Some people are just too wrapped up in their own lives to care about what is happening, even in their own parents' lives. They are also setting a very bad example for their own children regarding family relationships and may be on the other end of the stick someday.

Well, caregivers, you have perhaps all answered my question indirectly. I might just as well hang it up and go my way as best as I can. Apparently kids and others are not capable of really "getting it" as completely as us. Only if they go through it on their own personal level will they grasp the enormity of the situation. Some are more compassionate than others. I am not going to worry myself about who "gets it" anymore. So be it. Thanks for all your input.

Does anyone think that maybe children don't want to admit the diagnosis for fear it might be inherited? Just a thought. My children are supportive, so far, and understand what is taking place with their dad.