We spent the better part of the afternoon, then had dinner with his old college friend who was passing through from out of town. Despite the fact that Jeff can participate very little in the conversation, it's tiring.
Then, tired and ready for bed, he'll try to express a question in his head. It comes out something like: "a guy...all over the place today...showing us the...who was the?"
"Do you mean French (our friend's name,) whom we went out to dinner with?"
"No. It was with the..."
Finally, I just get him into bed. He comes downstairs in his underwear 20 minutes later, ostensibly to clarify his question: He says "pale yellow buttons."
"Pale yellow buttons?" I repeat. But this is all he can think of to say about it, and I put him back to bed.
DH does the same thing. He goes to bed around 6 p.m. but will wake up in a couple of hours and I get all these random thoughts from him. I do a lot of 'grunting' or nodding and try to get him back to sleep.
DW does this all the time. She is still here enough to have questions about what is going on. She questions what she sees but does not comprehend. Then she can not get the words out to express the question. I think this is when they are the most needy, they depend on us to tell them what they are no longer able to process with their own brain. Yet they are still in the here and now, but struggling to understand what is going on.
I totally agree Moorsb, Kathryn also does this. She has a question or just something she wants to say but by the time she gets out between 3 to 6 words she can't complete it. I think it is because she can't hold the thought and find the words both at t the same time long enough to finish what she is trying to say. I used to be able to complete the thought for her but now I can't even do that most of the time.
I too agree...I used to be able to help DH more with communicating his thoughts...and help complete his brain's processing in expressing himself...but it definitely has been getting more difficult. It is so frustrating for me, because I really do want to hear what he has to say, or maybe answer the question that seems to be troubling him.... I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for him. Although, maybe when the thought leaves them, so too does the frustration at trying to remember...?
Dh does the same thing only he throws in a few imaginary people into the mix. Will start out about "all the people" point to the floor...."space here"...."several don't have"........."all the people are going to"...... very frustrating for both of us. No complete or articulate sentences that you can even guess at so I either just acknowledge that he is talking but don't even try to understand. It is frustrating for all involved.
at night there is very little you can understand that bobby tries to say. i feel so horrible that i can't figure it out anymore. the mid day is a bit better for him. he is not warming up to much to the caregiver idea either. we are adding another one into the mix tomorrow. the 1st one could not come on weds. so this new one can and i really wanted wednesday's so we will see if he seem to like either one of them better. they both seem fine to me! it still is so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that my 2yr old grandson can tell me more and do more for himself than my 57 yr old husband. exhausting for me and him!
donna L--Had the same experience as you. When grandson was 2 ish, his Mom told him to go upstairs and get his Crocs (shoes). He did immediately and brought them downstairs. I said to myself, DH couldn't do that. The realization really hurt.
Gord talks constantly. There is nothing I can understand. When this goes on for hours, I try to remind myself how frustrating it must be for him. However, all I want to do is scream. The constant talking in strings of words and numbers can't even be guessed at. A lot of it is whispered as apparently, there is somebody listening.
yeah, i hate realization these days. too much of it. realization that i just turn 50 a week ago, the realization that i have an adult who i am totally responsible for not wanting to accept the realization that i might not be able to care for him all his days! so unfair when life takes such a turn. the bright part is as i am losing the understanding of what bobby is saying. i am finally starting to understand what lucas is saying. we loss and we gain. and the world keeps spinning. blah Sat. night!
jang, I could have written your post.My Dh talks constantly too.Most of the time he mumbles and you can't understand him.He NEVER wants to give anyone else chance to talk.