A month from today, I will be at the cottage and Gord will be in a place with strangers. Today is a really bad day. We have had hours of crying, paranoia, moaning and groaning as if he is in labour. Since 10 this morning, we have had 2 hours of peace. I am ready to run away and I am looking forward to having some time to read and just look at the water. How will I enjoy myself when I know that he will be lonely and afraid?
He may be at first, but then he may relax. Others have mentioned it is not uncommon that once they get around others, feel safe, they enjoy the company and attention. How does the saying go: think of the worst and hope for the best. You know the worst, but think positive. He will survive and be OK.
keep thinking of that view of the water and uninterrupted reading time. i think the worries are more in our heads than theirs. you read here all the time, that with time they adjust to the new surroundings and come to think of it as home. divvi
I think the same advice would apply! I think, now, that I would be looking forward to a few days respite that hospice provides but when the time actually comes to be without him for a few days I am not sure how I would feel. Mixed emotions seems to be the name of the game.
Jang--Last January I had my first multi-day respite (out of state). In-home help was here 24/7. It took a huge fiblet (went to a research workshop about my CMT) and a 2-5 min call each afternoon for both our pieces of mind. He was anxious at first (when he thought I was going to be FAR away-reason for fiblet. He handled the"story" well. There had been a couple little snags while I was gone, but he rolled with it and was just fine. This was the longest time I'd been away, including the days I had my hernia surgery and toe amputation (both out-patient) since I started Caregiving in 1988. We both survived it. So will you. My trip was a stupendous refresher with many new firsts. Take your respite and run with it. He'll be fine, and you'llbe even better for it.
Thanks Carosi. I know that I need it. He is not capable of talking on the phone so that is out and it would be a big help. I guess I will just have to run with it. I am still in shock over your being a caregiver for 23 years. I started my first caregiving with my mom in 1996 then added my mother-in-law in 1998. That was not caregiving as I am doing now though. I thought that was bad enough. God bless you.