WELL, HERE I AM. I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK TO START GETTING MY FEELINGS OUT, AND IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE 4 WEEKS AND EXACTLY THE TIME YOU PASSED 3:40 PM. I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD THE FEELING TO WRITE TO THE MINUTE OF THAT DAY.
SO, HERE IT GOES. IT IS ALL OVER. PEOPLE ARE BACK IN THEIR LIVES, THE DAYS COME AND GO, BUT I AM STILL HERE EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY THINKING ABOUT YOU. WHAT IS IN STORE FOR ME NOW? MY LABOR OF LOVE WITH YOU IS FINISHED. YOUR OK NOW, I FEEL IT IN MY HEART. I CANNOT SAY THE SAME FOR ME. TIME WILL TELL. I AM LUCKY TO HAVE HAD A CHILD WITH YOU AND SHE IS MY LIFE. I WILL LOOK AT HER AND ALWAYS FEEL YOU CLOSE TO ME. WE DID A GOOD THING TOGETHER MAKING OUR LITTLE GIRL. I AM SO PROUD OF THAT.
I ACHE BECAUSE YOUR NOT HERE, I ACHE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR ME, AND I JUST PLAIN ACHE. I WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE MINUTE-BY-MINUTE, DAY-BY-DAY UNTIL I UNDERSTAND WHAT WILL BE. I ONLY HOPE THERE IS PEACE IN MY HEART IN THE FUTURE. I CANNOT BEAR TO HAVE THIS ACHE FOREVER.
Hopefully the pain will ease and you will be at peace just knowing you did your best and that he at least is at rest.And when you look at your daughter you will always see a part of him. Prayers and hugs
Paula M*, I think this is a good thing you are doing by getting your feelings out. You are recognizing them and that can't hurt. My dh is still here so my ache is different, but here non the less. I will pray for peace for you. You did the best you could, and you will go forward and do the best you can for yourself and your daughter. After our experiences here we are all a little more compassionate for others also. You are a strong soul and will make it and be happy once again if the other members here are any indication of what is to come after. Hope you have peace and comfort soon,,,,,,
Paula, you sound so much like me. Writing my feelings down has always been so helpful to me whether I am fighting anger, sadness or even happiness. Putting it on paper makes me feel better.