the s**t out of someone! We have lived in this house 12 months this month and for the third time H (forget the D) has managed to block his toilet. I don't know what he did yesterday but the was a half inch of water in the linen closet opposite the toilet. I spent half my time getting the water up and then I spent the other half using the plunger. I finally got the water to go down SLOWLY and then just and inch or two would sit in the bottom of the bowl. A while ago I went back to see what H was doing and he had had a BM and blocked the toilet AGAIN. So I went to work again with the plunger and the damn thing is working fine now. I put a call in yesterday to a handyman we use and I'm waiting to hear from him. I am still going to have him come out and check the toilet and if needed get a new one. I am going to put a sign on the toilet to use ONLY toilet paper in there. I have told him not to use tissues because they don't disintergrate like toilet paper of course that stays with him for all of 20 seconds. If he blocks the toilet again I just might end up going berserk!
Oh Jean....I went through this for a long time and I hate to tell you what I had to do. I would follow him to the bathroom and make sure he didn't flush until I could break up the solid waste and then it would go down. There is nothing pleasant about this, but after paying the plumber hundreds of dollars I just decided to deal with it. You know what they say...."Shi# happens!"
Jean - after this happening numerous times at our house I bought one of the more expensive toilets that handle "large waste". No problem from then on. Best investment you can make and more fun than "breaking up the waste".
In our house all things that could go down the toilet did go down the toilet. The reality is that part of the early middle pain is learning to make all the adjustments yourself. That becomes easier when we get sick and tired of trying to hang on to the way things were. A person who can't remember anything for 20 seconds can't remember instructions about tissue paper versus toilet paper and isn't going to in the future either.
When my person first came in back in November, she said I should clear out the bathroom so that there's nothing in it but a few big things. I knew what was supposed to be in a bathroom thank you very much so I didn't make any changes. Today there is nothing in the bathroom but a few big things. No more flooding unless I'm the dumbo that floods it (which I did).
We resist jumping ahead I think because enough 'normal' is changing, I suspect most of us are reluctant to create more change voluntarily.
One of the ways it gets easier is that we gradually learn that resistance is futile and it doesn't hurt as much to change things we always had a certain way (all couples do) because our feelings about those things has been blow torched away over the many months and we just do it.
Don, an interesting story. I may never eat corn on the cob again ;-D
I am noticing too that I think my DH is having larger sessions.. I think the motility of the intestines is affected by not only his diabetes but also by ALZ.
I know part of the problem is H doesn't wait for the first flush of the toilet to go down and flushes again. Which is why I think I had a half inch of water in the linen closet. I have a paper on the toilet tank written in black marker to just use toilet paper, I am going to add "Flush one time only". If that doesn't work I might run away.
Sandi, I too am a big load braker upper..... My dh adds urine on the floor to the mix by not holding "willie" down and he tinkles thru the top of the seat and the toilet. I started making him sit while tinkling over one year ago so when it needed to be done, it would be an easier transition. He has no objection to sitting when he remembers how to sit. Then he forgets how to get up. I think I handle it pretty good, but sometimes I feel so mean. He has started putting his Depends in the toilet but thank God they won't go down. I have to follow him every time he goes to the potty because he can't find it and once he gets there he doesn't always know what to do or where to do it. Any suggestions on how to make this easier are very welcome.
Jean21 I too understand wanting to slap it out of him but if I did I would just have to "break it up again". So I just fuss when I get a double dose to clean up...... hoping you have a better day.....
So, guess I'll join the "break up and flush" team. Hasn't run over yet, but I've noticed hb makes larger deposits and only every other day or two. Have to work at it to get it to go down after a few flushes. We have a raised toilet, but these, new, modern, save water appliances are not for real men. I chose to use Tena briefs rather than pads because I KNOW the pads would go into the septic system--if they could get that far.
Additionally, I've moved most stuff of any size out of bathroom because when hb sits, he opens vanity drawers, doors, and "plays" w/whatever he finds. Made this discovery after finding my mini-pads stuck all over cupboard doors, sink, etc. at eye level if one's seated ("scuse the potty talk.)
Moorsb, This house is about 10 years old and it isn't on a septic tank. The water pressure is strong here. When I turn the water on in my bathtub it sounds like Niagra falls and the water pressure in the toilets are strong. I had the same problem when we lived in the condo so I am blaming the user!
ok i have to say yall have me LOL!! oh boy this topic brings back fond memories. :) there are enough of you 'break&flushers' now to start your own club.. grin
surely one of you will take the poop queen title now off my hands ??i think this definately qualifies. divvi
Sooner or later many of you will get up close and personal with poop. And wiser folks than I taught me that it's just poop! Everybody poops, so let's get over it already.
I vote for accompanying him to the potty to personally dispense the paper and supervise. Keep nothing within reach that he could flush. Sometimes it's just easier to do that than fix the problem later. Sorry to say, all the signs and reminders in the world won't fix the situation. Besides broken reason buttons, their "cause and effect switches" are also faulty.
And, can't resist teasing that if you run away, you will just have a multi-day problem waiting for you upon your return. So sorry you are having to deal with this. There is always something, no?
Brings back memories to me also. I hate to say it Jean, however, you could write "Use Toilet Paper Only" in 5 ft letters & he still would not always understand. I agree with folly remove the Kleenex from the bathroom. I know this can be so frustrating.
And make sure they just use toilet paper. DH didn't try to flush it down but I almost flipped when I went to dry my face with the hand towel and guess what was all over it.
Carolyn, good point! If there is a wash cloth on the bathroom sink, he will use it to wipe himself. I NEVER use a washcloth that has been left on the sink, in fact I always put it in the laundry at the end of the day or if I know someone is coming over.
I agree with everything and everyone!!! No tissues in bathroon-no baby wipes unless they are the flushable kind(then only with supervision) NO COMBS near by they will get stuck EVERYTIME( trust me) Always make him sit down to pee,and make sure he3tucks IT in the pot! No need for notes they may go in the toilet too. And yes it does seem like THE MOVEMENTS are larger and less frequent. Yeaks who would have ever thought there was so much info on POOP!!!! Good luck to all-I am still having daily battles with the BATHROOM. And I thought my girls were hard to potty train,That was a piece of cake compared to THIS!!!
Thank you all! I have had a really bad day and I started to read this thread. It all applies to me too but I have laughed my way through all the postings. I will go to bed a little lighter of heart.
You can always let the tank fill then turn off the water. That way he can only flush once. then you can go in, refill the tank and flush again if needed. I seem to remember someone here doing that, too.
Jang, I read all the comments on this thread too because I couldn't help but laugh at some of them. Even though Jean is so upset that the D was left out of her comment.(I can relate to wanting to drop the D too) I was trying to eat dinner while I was reading this and did alright until it was time to eat my banana! LOL I think the best thing that can be done is to just go with them when they have to go to the bathroom and if you can't do that at the time go shortly thereafter because it will lessen the SURPRISE?!?!?
Benefiber!!! That's what the break&flushers need to start giving their "pluggers". You need to get some fiber into them. My DH does the same thing. I have the bathroom down to the bare essentials as well as "chux' on the floor to gather those misses and deliberate delays in sitting down. We've had all sorts of mysterious disappearances down the abyss and fortunately have avoided the plumber.
Deb, I missed the D part. I went back and read it again. There certainly was no D on my H yesterday. I am starting out the day as a ray of sunshine filled with love and compassion. I hope it lasts till at least 9AM.
Re the larger "deposits" -- some of the psych meds (anti psychotics, anti depressants) can slow down the system and change the elimination process. If spouses who are having large movements are on those medications, I would talk to the doctor and see if a stool softener or change in diet, increase in fluids, etc. would offset the side effects and possibly result in smaller loads. The nurse at my husband's dementia ALF mentioned that pretty much all the residents are on stool softeners because of the meds.
senokot S is a natural stool softner. it works well. and not hard on the GI. recommended by hospice. been using for a while now. it relieves the pushing and stress if given but you have to find the right dosings. i give 2/day or up to twice a day.
Had several grown men (not AD) living in the house once and toilet would plug up. Finally asked the plumber what was going on. He told me with so many grown men to use 1-ply paper only, all the other fancy ones do not break up as well. That worked--or maybe it was coincidence. Yes, you use a bit more, but it beats the annoyance and the plumber. And the double flush, but that's another story with AD. Also make sure sewer line is clear of tree roots and never put dental floss in toilet, it gets tangled in tree roots or whatever and causes plugs. Also, last year got rid of the old toilet that worked perfectly well, but used so much water, and bought a new hi-flush one that works really fast, uses little water--it's astonishing, and my water bill went way down. Paid for itself in no time. Had other poop problems with DH but never the specific one you have discussed. Had to learn more about poop & toilets than I ever wanted to know. Oh, poop!
The odd thing is....when the water was in the linen closet it was all clear NO poop!
The toilet is apart from the shower and sinks and has it's own door. You can't see the toilet when you walk in the bathroom.
I had to stop at church this morning and go to the store. H greeted me with the toilet again!!!!! The water is going down slowly and ends up with a couple of inches in the bottom of the bowl so I have called the handyman again to have him come and check the stupid thing. I am all plunged out after the last 2 days.