This question is prompted by our on-the-spot decision (daughter and I) to go to the movies (The Help—very worth seeing, btw,) tonight. I didn't want to not go...daughter is recovering from rotten boyfriend heartbreak, and needed distraction. So, we bundled Jeff into the car and went. 7 pm movie. Jeff has been pretty disoriented after movies for some time, and it's clearly getting worse. Not great. Obviously, the time to not bring him is at hand.
I have plans to begin daytime helpers 2-3 days a week, but do any of you have suggestions for how to arrange evenings out if you're not yet needing regularly scheduled evening help? There are not generally relatives nearby to step in for this sort of thing, so it would have to be a sitter.
I have a friend who's mother cannot be left alone due to AD. If she needs to go out in the evenings, she uses a company called "Home Instead". She has been pleased with them. They have people who can come in the evening.
Check with your Area Agency on Ageing. They can provide a list of Agencies providing licensed,trained caregivers. One of our regular helpers covered so I could go to an evening baseball game with friends, for my respite last month. She's covering tom orrow so another friend and I can go see"The Help" and have lunch. The only drawback is you have to make arrangments in advance. No, just drop and go.
Right, I figured the drop and go was going to be out soon, regardless of my help arrangements. I am planning to use an agency, and Home Instead is one of the local options. AngelCare network is another that's come with positive recommendations around here. So, I guess what you're saying is the same agency that provides scheduled day care might be able to provide a helper for occasional nights out, if scheduled in advance.
Some churches in our area have members who will provide "whenever" care. Would want to get acquainted with a couple of the people who will come "at the drop of a hat" before you need them, probably. I was pleasantly surprised to learn they have "caregiving" classes for those interested much like "baby sitter" classes are often provided in a community for pre-teens and teens.
our agency does care 24/7 as needed. day/night. i know college kids are looking for extra work too sometimes if you know of any and hes easy to manage. divvi
emily--my agency was able to provide extra hours if given enough advance notice. However, it wasn't always the same people that worked for us regularly. I guess you need to decide if you would be comfortable leaving him with someone new; I just found it easier to arrange my outings around the regularly scheduled hours.
MY PROBLEM IS MY DH doesnt think he needs anyone to stay with him. He is stage 5. He showers himself, is continent and able to ambulate without problem. He cant remember to eat or take meds and needs help sometimes getting what he wants on the tv.
Sounds like your dh is at the same place as mine. He would never consent to someone staying with him either therefore I spend an awful lot of time at home because our children are so far away. I didn't envision my retirement years being spent in the house but so be it. Things could be worse and they probably will be.
after a horrible venture out to walmart the other night. I interviewed a caregiver for one to two afternoons a week to begin maybe next week. wow that was a hard thing to do and after reading some many of the post here from wonderful strong people i know that sounds so petty. but just having to admit that i can't do it all and it is not far to pull him along on every trip to the store. the imprompt things will be hard i too have always been used to running out anytime niky . organizing trips weekly will take some time to wrap my unorganized mind around. i was thinking about getting niky to ask around to her fellow nursing students or posting a note in the nursing dept for possible sitters that might be easier to get on short notice. just some thoughts, good luck emily
well i done it. I hired a caregiver that started tuesday afternoon. i have to tell you that was the hardest drive away from my house to date , i know there will be harder drives in the future. she will come once a week to begin with then maybe twice a week depending on how bobby handles this. the dr had just started him on zyprexa monday night so he was alittle zoned out when she was here. but she said it went fine and he was not upset at me when i got home. that was hard to believe. prayers that that will continue. it is so unsettling to have someone come into your home you don't know. i check references but wondered if anyone out here has any more imput about things she or i should be doing during the time she is here. also does anyone have any info on how long the zyprexa takes to settle into the system. i don't want him to be this zoned out all the time
Ok. Well, I've got a person from a home health agency (Angel Care Network) coming to talk to me tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. My mom is planning to drop by as a possible way of distracting Jeff so I will feel more free to speak frankly about his needs. (He doesn't know he can't do stuff, as is typical.)
DH was Dxd in Aug-Sept 2006. I'd already been Cargiving since Mar.1988 due to Mental Illness,but he hadbeen mch more able in the beginning. At Dx of his VaD he was finishing Stage 4 starting 5. In-home help started in Nov. 2006. The first days we startedcwith household helping, then worked into personal cvare. He accepted the idea of help by doing it that way, I think because he could get used to thehelper and then accept direct help for himself. Since that timeI have qualitfied for 4 hours a week personal cae for myself under our County Milage for Senior Care. He'll ask her for help sometimes too.
The earlier you can get your LO to accept helpers in the house the better off you'll be. You never know when a situiation can arise that would make you unavailable. With no familiar helpers, how will your LO handle that?
Also---you are not using "sitters". That's demeaning. You are using "helpers" or "aides".
i think that would help alot to have your mom come over. we stepped outside and talked some , and we can tell them but until they see it first hand then they can adjust to the patient needs. she helped him with his lunch which for bobby is always late because he sleeps so late in the mornings. then they walked outside. he is a little more unsure on his feet right now with the new med. i hope that will come back. he took a fall tuesday evening after i got home but just skinned his elbow. your right they think they can still do everything. bless bobby's heart he moves to help but ends up just being in the way. this is a private person that had worked as a social worker with hospice for about 7 yrs and did caregiving on the side. i am trying to only still be gone for a time period when i know he should not have to go to the bathroom. he will fight that tooth and nail when someone has to help him beside me with that. so we will try to ease into this phase. good luck emily
Yes, I will try to use the right terminology. I think I opened the thread with the word "babysitters" because I was specifically thinking of how to manage evenings out and it reminded me of having small children. I realize it's not the actual name of the job in this case.
I started four weeks ago with someone coming in for three hours one day a week. I have friends who have worked for the agency I am using so I feel comfortable with using them. Yesterday when she came my husband told me that he didn't want to be "babysat". I left and she distracted him. He was fine when I came home, but she says that when I have been gone for a while he keeps looking and waiting for me to come home.
We've hadin-home help since Nov. 2006. In 2007I had a few occasionsto have coverage so I could take care opf my own Dr. appts,etc. Over the years our coverage hours have been increased as he declines and I have more respite hours available. He used to verbaly rebel and be disgruntled about having someone here whenI went. Now, he asks who will be here--making sure there will be someone. He no longer sees it as being babysat, but rather as a security measure, but won't admit it.
We too have an aide come a few hours aweek and I just tell DH that she is a helper for me,and someone to keep him from being alone(he does not like to be alone) He too asks several times when I am coming home.
I have someone coming tomorrow, and she will start out doing housework once a week. We will go from there. She is a member of my church, so I trust her, also she has 2 children with diabetes and seizure disorder, so she needs the money. On the downside her hours may be really tight.
thanks, i have been trying to read as much as i can find and time allows. bobby will have his 2nd visit from the caregiver this Sat. it has been over a week since the holiday and his bday is thursday so i did not want to leave him that day.