A few weeks ago we started having a CNA come on Mondays to stay with DH. He isn't really comfortable with it because he says he likes the young woman but thinks she doesn't like coming here. I am not sure how I feel about it. At first we had her for 4 hours but I couldn't find enought to do to fill 4 hours, so starting tomorrow she will do 3. One thing I don't care for is being tied to 9.30 on Mondays until the hours are up. I have never liked being tied into "you have to do this or that on a certain day and time".
She doesn't have to do anything for my DH. He takes his pills morning and evening and I am here to make sure he takes them. He doesn't need help with ADL's and can make himself a cup of coffee or a sandwich if he wants to. I do laundry on Fridays becuse I can start about 7.00am and get it over with! Sometimes I think I would be better just having someone to clean the bathrooms but most places want a minimum of 3 hours and I know it wouldn't take that long to clean 2 bathrooms. I just don't know what to do!!!!
Jean--it is a big adjustment, having aides come into your home. You have asked about several issues. First of all, the hours should be set to your preference, but I think a fixed schedule is part of the deal. It may take a bit of time, but I am sure you can come up wit things to do to fill 4 hours a week. I had aides for 4 hours a day, every day, and rarely did I stay home. When I did, I used the time to go into our home office and do paperwork, uninterrupted.
You didn't mention whether this is through an agency or a private hire, but in either case, you determine the job duties. Things my aides did were clean the bathrooms, vacuum, dust, clean the kitchen (floors, outsides of cabinets, counters, range top, etc.), change bed linens, make bed. Occasionally, when we'd have substitute aide and I didn't want to spend much time on instructing her, I'd ask her to do something like clean the inside of the fridge, dust window blinds, vacuum sofas, etc. They also cooked dinners--used the crockpot a lot in winter, it was very handy because they left at 2 and if they put it up first thing, it was ready at 5 or 6. Unloaded dishwasher, did laundry and put it away, you get the picture. My husband didn't require a lot of attention and wasn't the type to play games, etc., so they were able to clean the house, keep an eye on him, and make him breakfast and lunch. I let the agency owner know that I wanted people who were high energy and wanted to be busy--I did not want someone who would sit around on phone calls or texting. Hope this helps.
Hi Jean, I have people 10 hours a week. I don't care what they do as long as they make sure Gord is safe. He can be very difficult and I figure they earn their money if they have to contend with him. They will get him a drink or a snack. If I am gone long enough, they will give him lunch. Seven of my hours are through a government agency and they are not supposed to do housework. My PSW is a gem and does little things to help. Three hours are paid for by me. They do light housework but again, keeping Gord safe and quiet is all I really care about. As soon as they arrive, I am gone. I go out with friends, shop, sit outside or go for a walk. I am not sure what I will do when the winter comes but getting out of here is what I need more than anything.
Well, we had the "big talk" about someone coming to stay with him when I'm not here. Last week he took a horrible fall - thankfully, only bad wounds and bruises - nothing broken, but since then his walking is not good at all and I'm concerned to leave him alone like I have been, even for a couple of hours now. I want to keep working - go in 3 days one week and 2 days the next, only for 1-1/2- 2 hours. I work about 4 blocks from home and I can go in anytime I wish, but go in the mornings since that is DH's best time. I just need this time to be with "normal" people. Anyway, Comfort Keepers is coming tomorrow for a consultation. 3 hours min. $16.95. He's not happy about this, but did understand why we need to do this. He knows he is getting worse and his walking is the big thing.
Don't know what I'll do with 3 hours either! Will find out tomorrow what other little "goodies" they will do, other than be with him.
i remember having the same feelings when i first hired an agency to stay the 4hrs. i think i just drove around in stupor the first day:) i think its that we are so accustomed to being with them all the time its a strange predicament to find ourselvesALONE and free to go/do as we please. its not as much for what they can do for DH sometimes as much as what they can provide time away for you from AD. for a few hrs. i hope you continue jean and vickie to get out and sure enough you will find after it settles down something to entertain yourselves.
I have help from an agency 6 days a week 4 hours each day. I have 2 different helpers. They help DW get bathed and dressesd, do her hair , shave her legs what ever she needs done. They usually are sitting watchin TV 2 hours after being here. Once she is taken care of they do house cleaning about 1 hour each day, once they do that I tell they they can leave so they work 3 hours but are paid the min 4 hours the agency charges. It just kind of worked that way some days, other days I may run an errand and they will stay late if I need them to and I am still billed for 4 hours. On days that I am not going anywhere they know if the finish early they can leave, that way they work fast and get things done. It is working well at this point. I may go to 7 days a week later but for now they get Sunday off.
I am very fortunate to have the long term care insurance that pays for it.
It is more expensive in Canada apparently. I pay $23.95 an hour with a minimum of 3 hours. I have Home Instead. The problem has been getting the same caregiver every week. I have government paid people for 2 hours on Monday and Tuesday and 3 hours on Friday. As I don't drive, it is tricky to get to a doctor for me. Most of them are about an hour away by bus and then of course another hour home. Then you have to hope that they just might be on time....the doctor that is. If Gord has a doctor's appointment, we go on our own. I don't know what I would do without these people as it is getting more and more difficult to take Gord out. We also have to go by taxi anywhere we go.
I have an aide through our local Visiting Nurses Assoc. They were the only ones who would guarantee the same person would come each time. Right now she is coming 3 afternoons a week but DH is getting so clingy that he is impossible to deal with when I get home so may cut back to 2 days. I also go to PT on 2 days so need someone with him. They will do light housekeeping, although I am just happy to have them there to watch DH. I meet our son for lunch one day and either meet friends or sit in a local restaurant and read for a while and then get my errands run. Wish I could spend a day at home and get paperwork caught up but DH would be in the middle of everything and move papers or hide them. He would not leave me alone no matter what the aide did.
I feel the same way. I used to love it when Gord went to the day programme. It was so wonderful being able to leave the door unlocked and to be able to clean properly. Those days are gone.
I don't remember which thread it was that Wolf was talking about gathering up the things that his wife has scattered. A few minutes ago, I saw the litter box walk by. Usually it is pillows that walk around here but I guess the litter box is a change. I can't leave my tea around. It walked through the livingroom spilling all across the white rug. I was not nice when that happened.
When DH was Dxd and discharge from the hospital was being set up, I told them I couldn't continue to caregive alone, but with help I believed the best place for him was at home. It took a bit ( a couple snags) to get it aranged but help started with 6 hrs a week, soon upped to 8. That helper does his personal care, disahes, cleans the kitchen and bathroom, changes his bedding and takes care of ghis room, and does all the floor care. He also does the gro cery shoppingb fom my list once a week, taking DH along. When I had to goi for Lymphedema treatments in 2010 his hours were bumped up to 10 and then 11. When I started doing thge trewatments at hiome they went to 12. 3 times a week, he is monitoriung DH as well as all chores whikle I sit in the bedroom pumping. The 4th bday hthey do the shopping. In August 2010 I styarted qualifying for(got old enough) personal care help under our County Millage to help Seniors remain at home. I get 4 hours a week. She helps with showering, chbanges bed linens, takes care of my room, helps with cooking. Both run laundry and put it away as needed. I don't drive. While his helper is here, I work on paper work, do phone calls, pump, fold laundry, etc. When my helper here part of the time we are doing personal cae, the rest I stay busy. Dr's appts and the like have to be scheduled to include Gous travel time and have to be covered, though I ry to ovrlap with exiasting scheduled time. The only time I have away just for me--Respite--has to be covered as well, as DSH cannot be left alone. That has stood at 4 hours a monthy, but I ws reecntly tol that if there i9sa second time in a month whn I hve something special to do, I can ask for and get it covered. The 2 key things I l figured out early on, is that my time is best spent doing what no one else can do for us and turn the helpers loose and get out of their way. They may not do things exactly as you would, but at the end of the day your LO is clean, fed, and safe; you are in a clean house,and fed, and just maybe less stressed over all that needs douing. And if there'something not gettoing doin, you can ask--thy'll often do it or at least help. If you can drive and leave while the helpers are there--do it. Even 2-3 hours running errands and grabbing a latte is respite from the time at home when you can't leave.
We just started getting in home help last week-she will come for 3 hours on Monday. All she is supposed to do is watch Paul.She said if I need her to help with anything she will but as far as her "job" it is just to be with him. And that is fine with me. She seemed very nice and gentle -pulled off her shoes and sat down on the floor by Paul and just talked to him.Then she read to him for a while (I was in the other room since this was her first visit) They went for a walk and had a snack,so I think they will get along ok. This week when she comes I am going out for a while. We have to pay out of pocket but it will be worth it to have someone with him for a few hours.
Must be in the air.....I to interview an agency for in home care on Friday. Have someone for 2 hours (that's all they can do) and now we need longer help. The first person is a lunch buddy. Takes him to lunch and runs errands outside the house. This additional person will be another 3 hours until I come home from work. Thinking I to need things for her to do, to help me not have so much to do when I get home. Thinking start his dinner, keep bathroom clean and bike ride (Hubby loves to bike ride each day) interesting mix don't you think? All of this is out of pocket. When I am paying my complete salary for this care may have to rethink the plan :)
Well, my bubble just burst this morning. No way was he going to have a "baby sitter". He said appreciated what I was trying to do, understood it, but if he fell or something happened, so be it, said he has a DNR (he does), so doesn't need anyone to watch him. I did leave him to go to work this morning (1-1/2 hrs.), after he had breakfast and got in his recliner. He was fine when I got home. Had to go to Lowes and took him and he did use the wheelchair - not the electric cart. I pushed him and it was fine. I'm giving up on this for now. After Dr. appt. Thurs. I'll see what the Dr. says about it.
Oh Vickie, I’m sorry that happened. I’m considering getting outside help too, but I’m afraid that my DH will have the same reaction. My DH can’t be left alone, but not sure he will want anyone he doesn’t know come here to stay with him. I’ll have to take it slow.
Your dh could be just having balance problem hence the fall. Maybe you could talk him into a walker. It would give him confidence and you a little peace of mind. My mother began with "spells" which could never be diagnosed into anything specific. She never fell but did consent to the walker.
Men are so proud and I understand his refusal of a "sitter". I would have the same trouble with my dh.
He does have a walker, but will rarely use it. He also uses a cane - sometimes! Just not consistent. If he's going from den to kitchen, I usually take either the cane or walker and ask him to use it and he usually will. But if I'm not around when he gets up, no cane or walker. I'm just not going to fight this, but will just do the best I can.
Vickie, That's all all of us can do "the best we can". We hope it is good enough. My DH still isn't overjoyed at having the young woman come on Mondays but he is leaving the decision up to me and if something goes wrong it won't be his fault it will be mine. That's the way it has always been!
We went for my birthday dinner yesterday. DH still didn't remember it was my birthday! His dinner was good.....mine wasn't!!!! At least they didn't charge for it so I guess that was my birthday present. lol.
Marilyn, my DH is much too with it to use the fiblets. And, I did tell him she would be doing things for me. He said he could do that - and he has in the past, always helped me clean, but just can't do it anymore. Oh well, I can do it much faster anyway.
Thankfully Paul does not mind the lady that come here,he knows he can not be left alone een if he does not know why.I think he would be terrified if he thought he were alone.
My husband mostly refuses help (except with his shoes and socks) but he accepts someone in the house to clean--5 hours twice a week. Over a two week rotation she does clean the whole house, but dealing with his laundry and trying to pick up after him takes the larger part of her time. She also will cut up fruit for him, for example peeling and cutting up peaches, and if he will let her she fixes his lunch.