Here I am back to the same old story. Today is one of many days my hb refuses his insulin only b/c he does not have control on administering his own insulin. I am so sick of having to care for an adult who acts like a child. I don't know how much more I can take before I send him back to a facility. The reason I haven't done that is b/c his SS is helping us meet our finances and rent. I quit my job to care for him whic was a HUGE mistake and now I can't find a job. I thought I would be able to handle this but my life has been sucked out of me. I am so tired of give, give, give and nothing in return. My hb keeps telling me that once his guardian is removed (hearing pending) he wants to celebrate by going out to dinner and have sex. Are you kidding me? I don't love him in that way. I won't even kiss or hug him. I haven't said this to him nor do I intend to. I don't consider him my hb. Quite frankly I don't consider him anything to me other than my childrens father. We have been remarried for one year and no we never consummated our so called marriage.
I am mentally and physically exhausted. I am tired of hearing his story of all the facilities he has been to. OVER AND OVER again which is why I hate talking to him b/c it's always about him. He is still very active but has short term memory. I feel so out of control and my life has no meaning. I have never been out of control. I hate it. I want my life back being single. Just me and my sons. I can't have this until I find a job to support us three and I don't see this happening. Any advise. I have applied everywhere on a daily basis and nothing. HELP!!
lee012, First you need to get your life under some control. Check with your Dr. for depression meds. You can't look for a job when you look or act stressed. It is difficult to deal with this dx when you are madly in love with someone but when you have no real connection to the person it must be impossible. For both of you it may be better to place him again, forego the SS and take welfare until you can find something. DId you check back at your previous job? Maybe they'd be willing to take you back. (((hugs))) and prayers.
i agree with phil that you should check with the dr for something maybe to take the edge off. maybe fpr yourself and him.:) and discuss the fact that you cant be a caregiver to DH any longer as he refuses yourhelp to give him the insulin which can be lifethreathening i would think. i cant imagine the frustation to have to be responsible for a lifegiving drug that is being refused. what happens if he goes into a coma due to not getting his dose? i think his dr should be aware of this as if it continues you may wind up in the Emergency room in a diabetic coma. if he has to go to the hospital it may be a good time to discuss placement from there as many here say thats the way to get it accomplished more quickly. this disease sucks the life of all of us, and having to care for someone you dont even like would be ultimate feat. divvi
lee012, only being married for one year! I feel similar to the way you feel but I have been married for 15 years. From the day we got married it took us 4 months to sort of "consumate" our marriage and I feel like I never got that bond with him that I needed and ever since then I have had to beg for any kind of marital privileges which made me resent him more than I wanted to admit, now I don't want the marital privileges because it would like having sex with a 2 year old (no thank you!) so I understand where you are coming from. I agree that sometimes we need that outside help that medication can give us.
I don't give a hoot about consummating my marriage, that is something I don't want to do. I'm already taking Zoloft, and have been on it for quite sometime but unless they have a miracle pill to help get my life back and in control I fear I'm doomed.
lee012 He already has a Guardian---not you. Inform his Dr. and Guardian of the med issues. The next time he refuses his insulin let his sugar goes low and send him to the ER. You can't make him take it, but you can address the resulting consequences. I am awaiting Placement for my DH. We either wait out our turn on a waiting list, or have to have a significant crisis (admission to the hospital for at least 3 days) with, maybe, a transfer for Rehab which could lead to placement. We have a 37 year bond, the end of this month. Withjout that bond II really don't saee how you can persue caregiving for him. Whatever it takes, I believe your focus should be you and your boys. Do what you must to make your life better. He has someone to look out for him.
I would stop the procedure to remove the guardian. Tell the courts, doctor, whomever needed that it is a bad move. Then look into an annulment since it has never been consummated. You found a way before to survive and you will again -you have proved you can do it.
I agree with about - contact the doctor immediately and let him know that he is refusing his insulin. That will give you some protection if he should go into a coma.