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    • CommentAuthorRhondaJill1
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2011 edited
     
    I have tried twice to post fairly long comments and both times they did not post and were lost. I am too emotionaly drained to type it again! The time is rapidly coming when I will have to place my dear husband in a care facility. Although he will be 77 in the fall, he is in great physical shape and we still enjoy a healthy sexual relationship. My question is how do we deal with that part of our relationship once he is placed? I will never get over wanting to wake up in his arms!
  1.  
    That is a very sad thing which I can relate too. Don't try to get over it, be happy you still have that desire. I would be happy to discuss this with you via e-mail if you would like.
    • CommentAuthorAdmin
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2011
     
    RhondaJill1,

    You are so very lucky to still have a physical relationship with your husband. I'm not sure about this - I will check into it for you, but it seems to me that if your husband is in a private room, you should be allowed "personal time" with him with the door locked.

    By the way, if your comments are long, there seems to be a time limit on the boards, and if you don't finish in time, the post disappears. The way to circumvent that is to write your comments in a Word document. When you are finished, copy and paste them here. That always works for me.

    joang
    •  
      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2011
     
    RhondaJill, I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision. I had to place my husband, but it was long past the time when we were able to have sexual relations. I really don't know much about the rules, but a quick google search found a lot of articles... here is one.

    http://www.suite101.com/content/sex-in-the-nursing-home--addressing-sexuality-in-the-elderly-a298517

    I can relate to your last comment, I never dreamed there would come a day when I didn't wake up in Lynn's embrace. I am so sorry.........
  2.  
    Thanks Nikki, I never thought to google it, should have known I could find information there. It is a good article and has given me the confidence to discuss it with the Administrator who is a real dear. She said she was there to support me, not just my husband. and is quite easy to talk to. So I will screw up my courage and ask her.

    I don't know how I am going to take him there and leave him. He will want to come home with me and won't understand why I have left him. So many tears, how on earth did you manage to place Lynn?

    I appreciate you Nikki, thanks.
    •  
      CommentAuthorNikki
    • CommentTimeAug 2nd 2011
     
    Rhonda, I didn't manage well..... it was the hardest thing I have ever done. It is still so difficult for me, I remind myself every day that I have to love Lynn enough to do what is best for him. There are a lot of topics here where we talk about placing our loved ones, it might help you to read them? Here are a couple I remember.....

    http://thealzheimerspouse.com/vanillaforum/comments.php?DiscussionID=1202&page=2#Item_23

    http://thealzheimerspouse.com/vanillaforum/comments.php?DiscussionID=2158

    Rhonda, it is a hard thing you are facing, when you are still deeply in love with your spouse as I am, and I can tell you are, it is all the more harder. I and others will be here to offer you a shoulder to lean on and cry on. Having been there, we do understand. Write when you are able to, it truly does help....... keeping you in my thoughts ((hugs))
    • CommentAuthordeb42657
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd 2011
     
    RhondaJill1, I have lost several messages also because I wrote a long message and couldn't stop writing but I found out that if I write my little heart out and then post it without editing and then when I post it I read it over again and edit it after the fact. That seems to work better. Some people will even write on a word processor and then copy it onto this page. I know how you feel about the sexual feelings and how you want to wake up in his arms. I am so starving for affection that yesterday another man put his arm around my back and it scared me because I don't want to be disloyal but sometimes I wonder what am I being loyal too.
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd 2011
     
    another option is when you are done writing, before clicking on 'add your comments', highlight and click copy on your post. If it doesn't go you can just paste it and then post
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd 2011
     
    another option is when you are done writing, before clicking on 'add your comments', highlight and click copy on your post. If it doesn't go you can just paste it and then post
  3.  
    another option is to email the post to Charlotte, and she will cut and paste and post it at least 2 times.......and then she will post it for you.....
  4.  
    Ah, Phranque......that was great.....!
    • CommentAuthorCharlotte
    • CommentTimeAug 3rd 2011
     
    thanks phranque :-)