Phranque, thank you for sharing, you and your children are indeed an inspiration, as many others have said. I wish you strength in these difficult days.
So sorry to hear of all the things that you and your family are going thru. It means a lot to give all of us a glimpse into your life at such a difficult time,,,,,, we all thank you for this. Phranque, have you tried giving your wife Pedilite frozen pops? They are good to keep babies hydrated when they can't eat. I am sure you and the kids have tried lots but another suggestion never hurts. I think all of you are making decisions you can be happy with once all of this is over. I am offering prayers for peace, comfort and understanding for all of you. Hugs to all of you..... take care of Phranque,,,,, and kids....... now and always......
I don't know what to say. My prayers are with you, your children and your wife. Although you never know what the last days will be like for everyone, I can't imagine what it is like for you right now. The love that you and your children demonstrate in the care you are giving your wife is amazing.
I just thank you, Phranque, for keeping us informed and for blessing us all with your humor. I'm thinking how fortunate we are to have this place and how thankful I have been to know 'you are all there'. Please know I'm keeping you and your sweet family in my prayers now.
I just finished cleaning out my keyboard, and removing all the chinese food, pretzels, nuts, popcorn, and other unknowns. I was hoping to fix my keyboard.....I keep hitting the escape key, but it does not work.........
Hey Phranque...just back from a vacation where I had no internet, bittersweet to read your postings. Besides what we all think of you, you must have done many good things in your life to be surrounded with such loving children (found not birthed), good, caring medical friends ( an anomaly for sure) and a support system that will allow you to ensure the best possible care for your precious wife. Am hoping that we will be able to do the same thing!
Her urine output is interesting....why would kidneys in the process of shutting down decide to literally P$$$ you off...the bed! As for the keyboard, have had tro remove many fun things as well. Am sure you have found the keys do pop off if you cannot clean the debris around them. Well grandson took care of that he removed several keys. Keyboards are very cheap and easy to replace...cost about $12. Just Google your computer and Ebay will show you replacements.
Seriously, thanks for showing us the way to end this journey with such humor and grace. May you all find peace in knowing there are no regrets. You are my hero!
Phranque, I am so sad to learn you are at this stage of the road with your dear Audrey. What a wonderful day she enjoyed before this event. As I read your description the thought came to mind that perhaps she had a series of TIAs..sometimes they resolve some...the other thing is I totally understand and agree that having your family around to support you and Audrey, is wonderful, comforting and the best possible way to care for your Audrey. I would urge you to reconsider Hospice. We had Hospice for my mom, our situation was like yours now, mom was at home, I was with her 24/7 and we had some outside help...round the clock...but if there are situations of pain or just something we do not understand, they are very helpful with teaching comfort care methods. They will help in ways you cannot imagine and when my mom finally died, they ran interference for us so we could have time alone with mom, and made necessary calls for us and just stayed and offered us comfort and understanding too. Blessings on you, your family and most of all Audrey.
Dear Frank, I'm catching up on the boards after some absence and was so saddened to read your news. I am in wonder and amazement at your adult children and am going to make a trip to the dollar store today in this 100+ heat to see if i can buy myself one or two. I feel like saving this thread to read again whenever I am feeling hopeless about the human race. Just knowing you are out there is an inspiration. hugs....terry
I've been out of town and am now "catching up." Have mixed emotions when one of our loved ones nears the end of the long journey. There is joy and there is sorrow. God bless you and your family.
You and your family are in my prayers. I just can't think in the terms of what you are going through. We all will face this and it is something that some days we want it to be now and then some days we want them with us forever. So difficult.
We have Hospice on board, since Saturday, and the evaluating Nurse said that her death is imminent. This is day 20 without food, and her vitals are still pretty strong...bp 06/64 pulse 107. SPO2 98%, and she is still aware of us and can still speak a few words at a time...I am amazed how strong she remains, and her weight is now 80lbs....Hospice has been terrific...I have not heard from them since she was admitted....and I like that.. I do not need to be reminded that she is dying, nor do I want their best guess on how long she has left... She is comfortable, very little pain (we have the meds perfected), and she managed to smile yesterday...She also did say that she hated me on Saturday, and that hurt...but I have heard it many times in the past, and shrug it off as her inability to find the proper word.... I hesitate to give a Fox News account of the final days, and I am sure that no one wants to hear the "graphic details". We are all the perfect team, and both kids are coming over daily. That in itself is the most rewarding part of this disease.
Frank, you are in my thoughts....your end of the journey reminds me very much of what I experienced. As surreal as the whole process was, the peace and knowledge that we were entering the last days was comforting. I am so glad your children are there for you....I was also blessed with amazing children.
I hope you can feel the presence of the angels that are surrounding you with comfort......
Thank you, Frank, for posting your journey. We realize that its path we will all have to follow and wonder how we personally will handle it.
But there is one difference that makes me very sad. Audrey is the same age as my kids. We are older. We have had some retirement years and traveling to remember. For you who are younger and going through this now--to me it just seems so unfair. But no one ever said that life would be fair, did they. I'm praying for you-- Frank, Audrey and kids.
The hospice nurse just left, and she was amazed of how we were caring for her. She examined everything, and could not believe how we were handling bed sores, thrush, hydration, medications, and comfort. She basically just told me to keep up whatever we were doing, because she felt that she could not do any better...Kudos for Kevin and Kim!!!..She is not actively dying yet....but expected within 3-7 days. She gave me her cell nr, and reassured me that she would be there if I needed her. I doubt that we will, since we have researched all this and know that we are prepared and know exactly what to do. I also have 2 doctors that will assist me whenever I called. One of them actually prayed with me over the phone, and that was the best prescription that I have ever had.... Meanwhile, we are still acting funny, and try to keep the pace up on the humor. Kevin does wonderful impressions and keeps us in stitches. I can still laugh at the alzheimer devil, and know that he did not win this war..... Fox news will be covering all the details, and their team of 6 satellite news vans, 3 helicopters, and 86 reporters will soon be arriving to air continuous reporting for the next 7 days. They will include interviews with the alz association, pharmaceutical companies, neurologists, memory centers, senators, congressmen, Hospice, neighbors, patients, caregivers, news paper delivery people, mailmen, passers by, people walking dogs, joggers, lawn care workers, deliverymen, gossipers, clergy, pharmacists, foreign leaders, Al Queda, our troops in Afganistan, tsunami victims, and 6,238 professionals who have an opinion on alzheimers. Combined interviews planned are 9,463 and will be aired over and over and over for the next 30 days. It will only be preempted if some other news worthy story happens.
Dear Frank, I am so glad you have Kevin & Kim to share Audrey's final journey. You're ability to find humor while fighting this disease has always amazed me and I've appreciated it as a diversion while I'm dealing with Rich and his dementia. My thoughts are with you all during this difficult time. Kevin & Kim are your living testament to what wonderful parenting you and Audrey have done. What a gift!
I am glad to know your hospice team is so sensitive. I did find that when my mom died ( they just happened to be there making one of the first follow up checks to see if we needed anything) they were fabulous at running interference for us, comforting us and helping with getting the funeral home notified, letting them know what WE wanted etc..they did not butt into anything..simply offered to help with what we needed..to make phone calls if we needed that done, keep neighbors at bay when we needed our own time, those sorts of little things we don't tend to think about. Emotions ran high at that time...it was a time for the family to circle the wagons and they were so helpful in making sure what WE wanted happened.. They were so sensitive and caring, and the follow up care we received from them after all was said and done, funeral over etc..it was do you need help and how can we help..call us when you need anything but they were also sensitive to keep distance too..They are well trained. Do take advantage of any help they may provide later on..they are the best.
Frank, I am so sorry to hear how much you are dealing with....you and your beautiful family are truly an inspiration though as you care for Audrey. How fortunate you all are to have each other! My thoughts and prayers are with you.
What I like about hospice when the end has come is you call them, not 911, and they take care of everything. When my BIL died it made it so easy - they took care of the death certificate, called the mortuary, helped clean up, etc.
Frank, thank you for updating us. It doesn't sound like you need hospice at all, I hope they are able to help you in some way. You are all amazing!!! My thoughts and prayers remain with Audrey, you and your children ♥
Charlotte- that is the only reason that I called in Hospice...When the nurse showed up today, I gave her the update...blood pressure, spo2 reading, temperature, noticeable changes, liquids consumed, medication, etc..and the nurse was stunned that I had done all her work...but she did check everything all over again, and sure enough, every vital sign was identical...her visit was basically useless, but it was good to have a "professional" opinion...we are only amateurs, and not aspiring professionals...But I am glad that I will not have to wake up the neighborhood with the ambulances, firetrucks, sheriff cars, at 3AM...Bad enough that Fox news will be covering this live from now to eternity....
I just punctured the tires on the 3 Fox news satellite vans (Janet..I did it for you) , and the papparazzi will be leaving shortly after I let Daisy out the door. She is an 8 lb attack miniature poodle, and she barks so much that they cannot get any good audio feeds to the house. I cancelled my 32 million dollar contract with Fox News, and paid them 20 million to cover the aaa rating of S&P, and they will continue covereage well into 2012. I decided to proceed with the 82 billion contract for the Reality TV series Living with Dementia, which will be aired daily. With movie rights, book copyrights, and tshirts, the value will be over 100 billion. There will only be one episode, but it will run every day for the next six years, and the Sponsors will be Excelon, Namenda, and Aricept, and brief spot commercials by Seroquel Soda and Risperadone Root Beer. Ah..life is awesome!
Phranque, I too am surprised at how much humor that you can maintain all along and I don't know if you know how much you have helped all of us (or at least me ) how important humor is. I can see humor around but I have to look for it. You know what I mean? I didn't know that about hospice, that they would do everything that needs to be done after death and I didn't need to call 911, that is great! My DH is on the contact board at hospice, if I understand right, they are still in contact with his dr. and me even though he doesn't quite qualify yet. I think that is a good idea too, because we have kids but none of them are helping and I am here alone doing it all so I NEED their help. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts while you are all going through this. I know what you mean about what your spouse says being hurtful, even though you know where it is coming from, my DH just told me that I was FAT!
Phranque you are an awsome person. I am so sorry we had to meet under these circumstances and that my dh and I had met you before now. You would really like my dh and I can imagine the smiles and friendship that could have been formed. You are a blessing even in your time of pain. God Bless you and your awsome children. Please know all of us count our blessings to have you as a friend on this site. We are all sending hugs and prayers for all of you..... Hug that beautiful wife for me and keep doing your best.... Take care and God Bless all of you.
Frank, reading all the posts on this thread.....well....what a testament to how much your friendship means to all of us. God bless you and your sense of humor, sense of gratitude, sense of family and above all your Spirit.....Amen. We are always here for you, Just as you have always been a phone call away for me, I am always here for you. Arms around and around, Susan*
WE love you Pharanque and are holding you and your family in thought and prayer in these difficult days. You and your family are an inspiration to us all....I admire your kids for being so involved and not shying away from this life changing event. Not all of us are as fortunate to have our kids on hand or so attentive as yours have been all the way along....God love you all.. Blessings and Peace..
Frank, as the others said, you are amazing. I can't believe you thought of me during this time - but if you ever see one of those trucks around here, don't puncture the tires; just send them on their way. We all love you, Frank, and are praying for you, Audrey, and Kim and Kevin.
Phranque - Many days, when I couldn't find much to laugh about, I'd read your posts and would find something there that made me smile or laugh out loud. I thank you for that. I, like many others, admire you for being able to find the humor during a difficult time. I hope I can remember that when the time comes for our family. I know I'll have my kids by my side. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Phranque: thinking of you and your family during this. God Bless Audrey during her journey. Praying for strength for you and your children You are truly blessed to have such wonderful and strong children.
Frank, I am sorry to hear about your wife Audrey. Iam glad you are doing as well as you are and I am praying for Audrey, you and your kids. I hope that whatever happens over the next days is what is best for Audrey. It is times like this that everybody on here wishes they could be there to assist you and Audrey. It is great to see the support you have both by your doctors and and everybody on here. I admire the way you are handling it all. I only hope I can do half well when I have to. You and your kids will get through this with the help and support you are all providing each other now and you will be ok.
Sorry to hear your lovely Audrey has declined so much .Your devoted care of her by yourself and your family is greatly admired .God Bless Audrey and also yourselves for the way in which you have cared for her throughout he Alz journey ,you are all in my thoughts and prayers Rosie
Thank you for all your prayers, encouragement, and support. Without all of you, this trip would have been impossible. I have gained so much from everyone's postings, and found the fortitude I needed to make the journey...and today I met old don , and we had brunch together...It was just wonderful meeting another male caregiver who is having the same heartbreak as I. Audrey's decline is a bit worse, and I fear that she will lapse into a coma very soon....I cannot envision her achieving any plateau now....Imminent is the word that I thtink is appropriate.
Glad you got to meet ol don and share your pain and experience from this caregiving role. You are doing an excellent job. Hold on, dear friend, we are all here for you.
Thank you Clare...I would prefer being run over by a SmartCar, then landing in a nest of killer bees, and being attacked by an alligator while I jumped into the water to get rid of the bees.
Dear little brother... I stand in awe of your strength and love. You're simply amazing.
Take it a day at a time,and when necessary, make that an hour at a time. The cadence goes like this: Right foot forward, left foot forward, right foot forward, left foot forward. It sometimes help to say this out loud. It worked for me. Chin up, eyes straight ahead, watch out for door frames, they are out to get you. You know how I feel about you and how proud I am of you. You're my 'bud'....
Frank--I am sure you, Kim and Kevin are teaching the hospice staff lessons about family resilience. You all are an impressive team, and a wonderful example for the rest of us. I think "Living With Dementia" is about the only reality TV series that hasn't been done yet!
I have to say that all this is only possible because of your terrific support. I am more than ready to quit before reaching the finish line, and I keep hitting the escape key on my keyboard hoping that it will start working. Your posts are very inspiring, because I am in a strange place right now. This is not what I expected, and each day becomes harder and harder to deal with impending doom. The end stage is horribly difficult, because it is a once in a lifetime event, and there is no way you can be prepared to watch someone in the final days. I am amazed how someone in her condition can survive, and that her memory is still intact. She is still able to interact, and knows what she wants to say, but she has great difficulty verbalizing it. It is now day 23 without food, and her weight is below 80 lbs. BP is 87/52 pulse 110, and I realize how self preserving a body can be. We are living moment to monent, and it wreaks havock on us emotionally. Despite the best guesses of doctors and nurses, we now realize that NO ONE can accurately predict how long she will survive....I am going back to the county fair, and I will try to locate the guesser and Madame Mystique.... At this point, I often wish I had placed her in a nursing home, but then I realize that I would be camped out in her room.....so home is much better, especially when I can still watch fox news, and hear everything except the news....