So I was thinking it would be nice here if folks could tell their "story" from beginning to where ever they might be now in this journey,seems lots of new folks coming on board an have no idea what lies ahead,that way a lot of answers could be found in the individual stories,I know no two are the same but might save lots of questions down the road or would that take up too much space?
ol don-I am one of the old timers. I have learned that every person with dementia is their own entity. I had one of the toughies with rages, flight, tough placement-it was not gentle. I hope we were the exception and would hate to frighten the newbies. I stick around to help and answer questions. It is my belief that it is better to take each day as it comes. Worrying about things that may not be saps one's strength.
I'm one who has had it easy so far. My DH was diagnosed 3 and 1/2 years ago and has been sweet and loving. He says he's sorry he can't remember and thanks me for being patient in telling him things over and over again. This journey is still so hard, though, to see this wonderful guy who has taken such good care of me and our children and now not even being able to dress himself or remember his old friends and sometimes not even his grandchildren.
My situation is much like Dazed.. My DH was DXed in 2009 but looking back I can now see the signs I missed. He too is a loving sweet and calm man whose philosophy in life always was and he still says " If you were born to drown you will never hang". He is not the problem, the problems arise with not enough time to get things done..and all the errands and appointments that are related to his conditions. It leaves me very little time for anything I like to do.. Now more then he ever has he tells me how much he loves me, how he appreciates me etc...sometimes i wonder why it took this disease to bring these sentiments to the top..he always felt this way but was not much of one to express it..now he does.
ol don, You might enjoy our facebook. Bob got quite the response when he posted that he wasn't feeling well. In fact the response was so great I considered starting a thread titled.....What about Bob? You would be amazed at the outpouring of sympathy that you get from this group of female caregivers when you state you aren't feeling well!!
One thing this forum has done for me is eliminate the surprises. At each new turn in the road or downward step, it is something I have read about here and know that it will pass or how to best deal with it. Not everything happens the same to everyone, but I don't think there has been anything I have not been somewhat prepared for. It really helps.
If anything you learn not to get complacent while dealing with the disease. changes are constant and the uncertainty that comes with each new day is overwhelming at times. I am also an oldie with regards to membership and our story has a list compiled of a love story that includes aggression, humor, and most bizarre and outrageous incidents. my DH was also a 'runner' meaning if you turned your back a few minutes, he'd be gone. he also was incontinent from mid stages and my stories of whoa is me with regards to this issue is well documented under incontinence topics. such so that i was dubbed the 'poop queen'..:) now as i said, you cant get complacent, and in late end stages, DH is now bedridden and no longer a problem case, but totally dependent on my care. hes was a brilliant attorney and has now become infantile and able to comply with only mimimum intelligence at this point. this journey begins and ends with despair knowing the outcome cannot be altered. not only do we live the continued losses thru the early, mid stages, but in late stages we find many times we must tolerate the declines that lead us to believe this is 'it' then they rebound and once again we wait for the next crisis. between the two, i dont know whats worse. now it becomes experiencing the thoughts of death over and over. only those of us who witness and bear this experience have any idea what the emotional and physical turmoil it takes to get thru to the other side. the good news is there are many here with the * after their names who bear witness its possible but not easy.
Lori, I, too, have found comfort in knowing what to expect, even if it did not happen. That road map I found on this site. It lead me through many a dark time.
I agree with everyone, I too have found some kind of comfort in knowing what "could" occur even if it doesn't. I think knowledge in general is a good thing and in our case it gets rid of some of the fear. Thank you for that, Joan