I knew my husband couldn't remember the names of friends/people but now it has gone to things. Today he said he found "Two of those long things with white on top on the floor". He put them on top of the washing machine so I just said okay with no idea what he was talking about. When I looked it was 2 pins out of my sewing room. It is getting harder to have a conversation with the long pauses while he tries to remember what he wants to say.
Ah, yes, the mind-reading challenge. My husband says he wants to go to a particular restaurant ... "you know, the one back there, that one, that we went to before." Can't tell me what "back there" means, how long ago we might have gone there, what kind of food they have, what the building looks like, whether we're friends with any of the waiters, whether it's near the house or the company or the beach, which direction we should start heading ...
You are now entering the stage of your frustration and his as he will not talk in sentences, will point a lot, and will lose the ability to know the remote from the lamp, unless you place sticky notes on the TV, lamp, washer, remote, etc. Some people say that they have to put "bathroom" on the bathroom door, so that they will go to the right room when they need it. I have found that when he doesn't understand "remote" I say "channel changer" or "long gray thing" and he'll get it. Some items have more descriptive words to use that you think might get through than others. :)
One of the things that confirmed to me that my DH does indeed have AD (even though he had been diagnosed) was when he said "that box on the wall with a mirror" meaning the medicine cabinet. People think this is a gentle disease where they just slowly forget who other people are. Little do they know or understand what really happens..........
Sunshine, Your post reminded me of a few days ago. One of the places we will be looking at Wednesday is just up from Walgreens. When we left my DH said for me to turn in the drive way. Sure, but which driveway... there are 3 on one side of the road and about 4 on the other. Finally I asked fi he meant where the new townhouses were and he said YES like I was an idiot for not knowing where he meant. This disease is really going to P me off sooner or later.
My husband refers to "those guys" at the bird feeder. Of course he doesn't say bird feeder. Those guys can be birds or squirrels. When he was feeding them, both showed up. He hasn't put anything in the bird feeder for over a week now.
The mail and the newspapers have the same name. Depending on which day it is either will be called by either name. And as for restaurants, we no longer even try to figure out which one he wants to eat at. I offer one at a time until it is OK for him.
Starling, I started having to do the same this week. He never would say OK though, so I finally said "Filet or soup and salad" and he said soup and salad. That meant he preferred Olive Garden over Texas Tumbleweed. :)
DH has very few nouns. He uses colors, "the green stuff" could be trees, grass??? The blue is probably the sky.Also points and says here an there and this thing and that thing and the other ones. He remembers familiar faces and also if he liked or disliked them but has no idea where they met, their names or anything about them.When he meets someone he likes he usually smiles and says "oh hello, I haven't seen you for a while" of course the person thinks he KNOWS them and often tells me that DH seems OK.
I have also become a mind reader. Trying to figure out what my husband is trying to tell me is very frustrating. Sometimes I get it right, sometimes he just says forget it. Regarding a resturant, I normally just pick somewhere we have gone in the past. In the last few days, he has brought up wanting to go to the Sports Store for golf equipment, but he can't go because those people keep telling him he doesn't need anymore equipment.....those people are me.
Divvi: you have a marvelous sense of humor and I look forward to your comments....the Navajo code breaker one is priceless, I really chuckled to envision you putting your special skills acquired to understand your DH's attempts at communicating... ' Anna: Your comment about how your dH circumvents his lack of memory for people he meets is evidence that our spouse hasn't lost their intellectual capacity , at least not in the beginnning, i admire their ability to hide language deficits.
To all riddle solvers: you are learning an invaluable skill, at your next 20 question or Charade party you will win easily....
well about the riddle solving, i think i should say that DH was better at verbal abilities while he was taking the namenda. he could actually make rational sentences just last yr. since taking him off though its become catch 22, the verbal abilities/writing his name etc slipped substantially but he is MUCH happier much less anxious and much easier to be around just generally speaking most of the time and started feeding himself better and using the bathroom again. in our case there was a definate trade-off. but i am happy with the trade so far, and try to do by best at breaking the code lately. divvi
My gosh! I thought I was the only one who had to break 'codes.' He is 82+ years old. Everyone we know has gray hair and wears glasses. He said "I saw that friend of your." "Who?" I ask. "You know. She has white hair and wears glasses." Never did find out whom he ran into. Oh, well. Guess it doesn't really matter. Sometimes it gets funny trying to figure out what he's trying to communicate. Other times it's not so funny and it's heartbreaking!
Mawzy, all of us who have LOs with less than perfect verbal abilities are breaking codes and trying to read minds. In my husband's case his verbal abilities are much worse than anything else. He still can follow some rational cognitive stuff, and physically he is the one who is taking 2 hour "hikes" and coming home with no problems. But he is losing words on an almost daily basis and can't follow a conversation, or be part of one, at all.
When something is bothering him, I can go nuts trying to figure it out. I gave up trying to figure out who he talked to at least 18 months ago and that was before he was diagnosed.
Yesterday there was an ad on TV for Poppa John's pizza. My DH said everytime he sees the man he thinks of the blonde woman he married. I am thinking "What blonde? there are hundreds of them" lol. Finally got it figured out after my DH spent a few minuted trying to figure out how to explain himself. The blonde was an assistant DA on Law and Order SVU and the guy she married is the chef Bobby Flay. Sometimes I wonder if we are getting our memories tested.
yep thats code breaking at its finest, Jean:) I frequently dream in a foreign language and then when i 'translate' i into english i find the most remarkable correlations of hidden meanings that would make no sense if you left it into the first language meaning. so 'code breaking' can be quite meaningful even for those of us without AD. divvi
'those guys' what IS about this particular saying??? this one strikes me as quite odd as we have seen various members saying their spouse uses this one. my DH uses it to 'blame' anything he thinks i am displeased with. dribbles on the bathroom floor, 'those guys did it':) wiping dirty fingers on the leathr couch:)-you just know 'those guys' did it'...he has enough sense to try to blame it on someone else..go figure! divvi
Early on we had thought about doing a notebook type thing for eating out and places to go. We were going to go take pictures of the fronts of places we frequent (Wal Mart, Olive Garden, Red Lobster, etc). We thought she might be better at pointing to a place to get the idea across.
Never got around to it, and now it doesn't matter anymore. Someone try it and let me know if it works!
divvi, you're so right. What the heck is it with "those guys" (mine blames it on "those KIDS) I hate to think of when there are a bunch of grandchildren visiting around us. He's liable to say that it's those kids. And, if he does something wrong, he'll insist that he did not do it. And, we know it had to be him. Nobody else here. No point in arguing tho, is there?
absolutely no point at all. and by the way, my DH also uses the 'those kids' one as well frequently! several times he has pee'd in the garbage compactor and when confronted says it was those kids again.:) then another time he tried to blame Bennie the chihuahua as the culprit. we all know who it is....:)
My DH says "You know who did it and don't act like you don't" I haven't a clue what he is talking about. I usually think he means my SL who he hates with a passion,but my SL is a truck driver and never around.
FYI - When I was working as a speech/language therapist with non-verbal kids, I found out that some of the fast food places have a picture menu specifically for the language impaired. I don't know if it's still available. All they have to do is point to what they want. The pictures were big and colorful.
Food pictures are also available from professional companies that distribute educational materials to schools and therapists, but I haven't looked that up in a long time. If I find anything, I'll let you know. And yes, they do work.
"Those guys" empty our bird feeder almost every day and 'those guys' splash the water out of the bird bath every day as well. That's one of DH's jobs--to keep the feeder and the bird bath full. He really loves 'those guys.' He can't tell them apart any more but he'll call me to the window when one of his prettiest guys is in the feeder. Funny how something as simple as birds feeding outside the kitchen window will makehim so happy. Makes me happy for him but gives me a lump in my throat just typing this.
Mawzy, My husband has always fed the birds and lots of other animals . When you look out from our sun porch you will sometimes see deer, squirrel and lots of birds feeding.Amazing because we live in a small city. He continues to be able to put out food for the "critters" with a little help. He gets great joy in it. It is one job that he remembers how to do.
His love of animals has really helped these past couple of years becasue he is happy taking care of the dogs and the other critters and staying home.
I was thinking how really sad it will be when he stops doing this as he has stopped other things...Just thinking about that time brought tears to my eyes.
Have you ever seen the corn cobs for squirrels? They are really neat. The crows like them too. The crows have a committee meeting every morning in the trees around our place. They caw and make all kinds of noise. If we are outside, DH talks to them and asks them 'what's going on?" Funny thing is that they stop their cawing and then someone has to have the last word and that ends the conference. He really enjoys them.
Those tears are good for us. They keep the dust out of your eyes if nothing else. Have a good day.
No, we haven't tried corn cobs, but I may. Anything that will make him smile. He talks to the animals and the critters out side. Funny, he has started using almost a nonsense language. At first I thought it was him just fooling around, but I think nonsense sounds are easier than trying to find the right word.
And if tears are good for us, then I must be doing great!!!!!!
Our nephew brings DH ground or cracked corn for the squirrels, and we have a bird feeder. Of course the squirrels have finally figured out the baffles keeping oiut of the feeder, and if he catches one on it he yells at it to "Get out of there. Go get your own." He feeds the cats and dog in the morning and I hgelp[ with that at night. He has staring games with the dog, and the dog knows it's a game. At th same time, when he calls the dog it's, "Hey, Dog. Come here!" or "Get over here, Chantey." Chantey was the Dachshund we had for 15 yearsand lost in 1999. Our dog now is a Boston we call, OT. The other day he mixed up our daughter's name with his sister's, Barbara/LuAnn? He's never been great with names, but now his skills are becoming non-existent. Tonight was a new one. He knew I had a frozen breakfast entree for supper and fudge browie for dessert. He came out to verify that I'd eaten all my hamburger. He wanted to be sure I had finished the brownies off. Took me just a bit to figure that one out. I'm getting really good at crossword puzzles--one of my small recreations. <grin>
Oh, and you should have seen his 4 huge squirrels last winter. Nearly as big as our cats.
If you guys want a cheap laugh, buy a Squngee (google it). It is a big bungee type hanger that goes in your tree with dried corn. The squirrels leap up and bungee around while they eat the corn! It is adorable!!!
We have 2 "trained" squirrels who come up to our glass door in the kitchen. I feed them nuts from my hand. One is Skippy, the other Scamper. You can really tell them apart. Skippy is very patient, Scamper sort of climbs up on the door for attention. My cat likes them, and she goes nose to nose with them at the door & they are not in the least bit afraid, since they were there first. I have great photos of the 2 of them going nose to nose through the glass door. I can remember when we did everything to outsmart the squirrels at the bird feeder, but finally, the squirrels won & they are so cute. I quit feeding the birds when I got a cat, it seemed cruel to try to bring them in & then let the cat out. (supervised) Now these are spoiled squirrels. They get walnuts, peanuts, almonds, etc.
I join the squirrel fans. i have three squirlley (unique name) twinkletoes, huge feet/and newest is troubles, i dont need to explain this name:) like val says each has its own personality. i throw cut cornoncob fresh and they go nuts. plus nuts and stuff too. they esp like biscuits. they have figured out if they lay to sleep on the fridge on the balcony the cool air escapes and keeps them cool so they are always hangin round! plus they have figured out to press the water door dispenser for a drink..(dont use this one anyway for us) its adorable. my chihuahuas also go eye to eye with them thru glass. its a menagerie of wildlife 10ft from my balcony. even a wild mex fox pair. i love to feed them all but now i cant go out to drink my coffee, the squirrelsl are rather pushy! gotta get your thrills somewhere, right???? divvi
I still feed the birds even though the cats go out tied on a leash. I call it "feeding the entertainment staff" as the cats are glued to the window watching the birds and squirrels. The rabbit entertainment staff is for the dogs who stare at them just like the cats do at the birds.
Wildlife, don't you love it until they become a touch agressive. We fed our squirels for years, even cured a couple of them that had mange..I have the formula if anyone has a mangy one around..boy do they LOVE it! We had to say goodbye to them as they started eating our deck rails...huge repair job that isn't done yet. But, the birdies still love us, but the deer are ticked that we don't have a garden to munch this year, but flowers seem to work well for them.
Maybe this is another sign my DH is progressing faster than I thought. He got up this morning and asked if there was a radiator shop around he that we could take the car to. I said "Probably, but why do we need to take it?" He said something about the "tube" being broken. The proverbial light bulb clicked on and I asked if he meant the toilet in his bathroom. After looking confused for a couple of minutes he said Yeah that's it. Last night his toilet wouldn't flush properly, you had to hold down the handle. When I checked, the bar that lifts the toilet plug was cracked so I jerry rigged it with tape until I get to Home Depot sometime today. Should I write things like this down along with the Poppa John's Pizza deal a few days ago to give to his doctor when we go? I just told him this morning he must have been dreaming, he agreed. I am begining to believe his problem started about 12 years ago when he had surgery to remove his prostate. The cancer was a half inch from his lymph nodes. When I think of things over the last few years they all seem to be after the surgery. He also had surgery to remove a kidney stone not too long after the prostate surgery so maybe it's a combination of both. I wish everyone a day of peace and pleasant things for you and your spouse. God Bless Jean in SC
Jean, I'm keeping a log with things in it that I think are important. Before I go to the next doctor's appointment, I'll go through the log and remove anything that turned out not to be true. Then I will attach the log to the file so the doctor gets it before the appointment and ask that it be read before s/he sees us. Just to explain the s/he, Joe sees the neurologist some of the time and the Physician's Assistant the rest of the time for regular appointments.
Last time I also put in a letter to the doctor and asked that be read. This system works with this particular doctor's office, but your mileage will vary.
As for the two operations being the cause of the dementia, yes, that's possible. We had a whole bunch of cardiologists answer questions about my husband being resusitated multiple times in one day. Some of them included information about the anesthesia because he also had major surgery that same day.