I invite you to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read today's blog. It has an uplifting message that I think we can all use. Please post comments here.
I would like to know your opinion. Do you agree or disagree with me? Do you have another perspective?
Good positive thoughts, Joan. As I've written before, there were times when I wanted to strap us both into the car and drive off the end of the Santa Monica pier--and since neither of us could swim, that was serious stuff. As a caregiver, it's good to be a little selfesh, to think about yourself, your life, your future. Losing a spouse to AD or any other disease or accident is life changing, but almost every widow/er I know has been OK. After 7 yrs, do I still think about my DH? Yes, I live in the same house, our children are nearby, but what I had with him, the good and the horror, are part of my life, like losing my parents, my sister or others. I don't want to forget it, but it has a place in my life, like everything else, it does not dominate & control. It's just what it is. Good post, Joan, good post. Your positive side is alive and well.
Well it's very difficult for me to see any positive side ahead. These last four years have been hell and it does not seem to be getting any better. I try so hard to stay positive not just for me but for my boys. I have to put up a front daily and it kills me inside. Today is one of those days that anything sets me off crying. I am so tired of being strong all my life for anyone else that I don't think I have much left for me anymore. I'm tired of being the strong person. When is it my turn to let go.
Lee - The ten yrs I took care of DH were hell, as you well know, but we were older, children grown and all I had to do was care for him--which was more than I sometimes thought I could bear. I admire those of you who have children at home or elderly parents to take care of as well, your own health problems, careers on hold or lost. And even so, I too cried buckets. I worried about money and everthing else, fortunately my son was nearby for emergencies and relief, daughter was far away but suportive. My health suffered horribly and I'm a strong person. I just want you to know that I also understand your feelings as well as Joan's. I'm glad you're here, we all need the support and interaction.
I think it is very important to keep positive. Keep positive thoughts as much as you can. I know it is very hard when you are going through the stages of the disease - but I think it is also hard through many other diseases as well. The problem with Alzheimer's is that we don't know from one day to the next what will be happening not can we predict when our loved one will die. This makes for most of us - living in a state of limbo - a married widow etc.
We each have many choices to make after we become a widow or widower. Some may choose a Relationship, some Marriage and some may choose to be alone. There is no right or wrong - unless - you choose to follow your spouse to the grave. I do think that is a terrible choice and I have seen that happen in my family with a aunt and a cousin and several friends. Life is precious and we only have one. It does NOT have to end with your spouse's death. My husband has been gone 18 months now and while I miss him - I am thankful he did not linger in a slow death. I would not want him to live in the condition he was in when he passed. Some things are worse than death and I think that would be "worse than death". I would not choose to prolong the suffering when no hope for recovery is possible. Sometimes, we need to not be selfish and keep them alive for "our sake.". Take care....Life is precious.