WOW Joan, what an insightful message. I never actually thought about it from that point of view. I have thought about how it would be if the situation was reversed, but you really put it into perspective. You really gave me something to think about. Thank you!
There is a myth with AD--that the patient doesn't really know what is going on; that we caregivers really bear the full brunt of the horrific disease, etc. I don't buy it. I agree, Joan, that even if they don't realize the full impact of their limitations, there is still much fear, insecurity, and just plain mental torture experienced by the patient. At least, this is what I've seen in my husband; I do all I can to reassure him that he is safe and loved. Being so extremely dependent on others has to be hard on any adult who has regressed so much in their abilities.
Thank you, Joan, for putting things into perspective. I do realize that my husband doesn't have any control over his declining skills, cognitive and all others. I often wonder how he feels about this, if he even realizes what is happening to him, if he is scared? I wish he could tell me. And, I do get tired of the constant responsibility and dependence; but, that's just the way it is and I must find a way to escape when I feel myself reaching a boiling point.
Just today, as I was trying to direct the house painters and make decisions about new doors and moldings, etc. - all stuff that my dh always did and loved doing - and I was struggling and somewhat resentful that I now have to do it; at the same time, I was realizing just how much my dh has always done to keep our ship afloat that I took for granted and probably even criticized from time to time. I was totally clueless. I am now almost totally in awe of what he used to do and so sorry that I didn't appreciate what I had when I had it - what a pinhead I was. Too bad we humans always have to learn things the hard way.