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Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.

    • CommentAuthormyrtle*
    • CommentTimeAug 22nd 2017
     
    BEAUTY PARLOR
    A place where women curl up and dye.

    CHICKENS
    The only animal you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

    COMMITTEE
    A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

    DUST
    Mud with the juice squeezed out.

    EGOTIST
    Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

    HANDKERCHIEF
    Cold Storage.

    INFLATION
    Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

    MOSQUITO
    An insect that makes you like flies better.

    RAISIN
    A grape with a sunburn.

    SECRET
    A story you tell to one person at a time.

    SKELETON
    A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

    TOOTHACHE
    The pain that drives you to extraction.

    TOMORROW
    One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

    YAWN
    An honest opinion openly expressed.

    WRINKLES
    Something other people have....similar to my character lines.
    • CommentAuthorLindylou
    • CommentTimeAug 22nd 2017
     
    :)
    • CommentAuthorbhv
    • CommentTimeAug 23rd 2017
     
    This is helpful Myrtle. I use this definition of TOMORROW just yesterday. Lol
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeAug 23rd 2017
     
    Funny commercial:
    https://www.youtube.com/embed/Pkeiv7hZy_Y?rel=0
    • CommentAuthorRona
    • CommentTimeAug 23rd 2017
     
    Saved Video

    Now here is a funny commercial seems a little out there but not really just funny. Don't know if this will come through as using iPad and always had trouble trying to access links here.
    • CommentAuthorRona
    • CommentTimeAug 23rd 2017
     
    Sorry just cannot get it to work.
    •  
      CommentAuthorol don*
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2017
     
    As we SilverSurfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.
    I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

    Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

    As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
    He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

    I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,

    'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

    Eric grinned ...'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?

    'No,' I replied.

    'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

    So I wrote down:


    ID10T

    I used to like Eric, the little shit head.
    •  
      CommentAuthormary75*
    • CommentTimeAug 25th 2017 edited
     
    Here is a list of BBC's 100 best comedies, as per their latest newsletter.
    100. (tie) The King of Comedy (Martin Scorsese, 1982)
    100. The Ladies Man (Jerry Lewis, 1961)
    99. The Jerk (Carl Reiner, 1979)
    98. The Hangover (Todd Phillips, 2009)
    97. The Music Box (James Parrott, 1932)
    96. Born Yesterday (George Cukor, 1950)
    95. Ghostbusters (Ivan Reitman, 1984)
    94. Rushmore (Wes Anderson, 1998)
    93. South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (Trey Parker, 1999)
    92. The Exterminating Angel (Luis Buñuel, 1962)
    91. What's Up, Doc? (Peter Bogdanovich, 1972)
    90. A New Leaf (Elaine May, 1971)
    89. Daisies (Vera Chytilová, 1966)
    88. Zoolander (Ben Stiller, 2001)
    87. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (Howard Hawks, 1953)
    86. Kind Hearts and Coronets (Robert Hamer, 1949)
    85. Amarcord (Federico Fellini, 1973)
    84. Waiting for Guffman (Christopher Guest, 1996)
    83. Safety Last! (Fred C Newmeyer and Sam Taylor, 1923)
    82. Top Secret! (Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker, 1984)
    81. There's Something About Mary (Bobby and Peter Farrelly, 1998)
    80. Office Space (Mike Judge, 1999)
    79. The Dinner Game (Francis Veber, 1998)
    78. The Princess Bride (Rob Reiner, 1987)
    77. Divorce Italian Style (Pietro Germi, 1961)
    76. Design for Living (Ernst Lubitsch, 1933)
    75. The Palm Beach Story (Preston Sturges, 1942)
    74. Trading Places (John Landis, 1983)
    73. The Nutty Professor (Jerry Lewis, 1963)
    72. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (David Zucker, 1988)
    71. The Royal Tenenbaums (Wes Anderson, 2001)
    70. In the Loop (Armando Iannucci, 2009)
    69. Love and Death (Woody Allen, 1975)
    68. Ninotchka (Ernst Lubitsch, 1939)
    67. Sons of the Desert (William A Seiter, 1933)
    66. Hot Fuzz (Edgar Wright, 2007)
    65. Caddyshack (Harold Ramis, 1980)
    64. Step Brothers (Adam McKay, 2008)
    63. Arsenic and Old Lace (Frank Capra, 1944)
    62. What We Do in the Shadows (Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi, 2014)
    61. Team America: World Police (Trey Parker, 2004)
    60. Shaun of the Dead (Edgar Wright, 2004)
    59. Toni Erdmann (Maren Ade, 2016)
    58. Zelig (Woody Allen, 1983)
    57. Mean Girls (Mark Waters, 2004)
    56. Broadcast News (James L Brooks, 1987)
    55. Best in Show (Christopher Guest, 2000)
    54. Harold and Maude (Hal Ashby, 1971)
    53. The Blues Brothers (John Landis, 1980)
    52. My Man Godfrey (Gregory La Cava, 1936)
    51. Seven Chances (Buster Keaton, 1925)
    50. Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown (Pedro Almodóvar, 1988)
    49. The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie (Luis Buñuel, 1972)
    48. Trouble in Paradise (Ernst Lubitsch, 1932)
    47. Animal House (John Landis, 1978)
    46. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)
    45. Big Deal on Madonna Street (Mario Monicelli, 1958)
    44. Bridesmaids (Paul Feig, 2011)
    43. M*A*S*H (Robert Altman, 1970)
    42. The Awful Truth (Leo McCarey, 1937)
    41. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (Larry Charles, 2006)
    40. The Producers (Mel Brooks, 1967)
    39. A Night at the Opera (Sam Wood and Edmund Goulding, 1935)
    38. The Philadelphia Story (George Cukor, 1940)
    37. Sullivan’s Travels (Preston Sturges, 1941)
    36. A Fish Called Wanda (Charles Crichton and John Cleese, 1988)
    35. Singin' in the Rain (Stanley Donen and Gene Kelly, 1952)
    34. Clueless (Amy Heckerling, 1995)
    33. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (Adam McKay, 2004)
    32. Raising Arizona (Joel and Ethan Coen, 1987)
    31. Tootsie (Sydney Pollack, 1982)
    30. Monsieur Hulot's Holiday (Jacques Tati, 1953)
    29. When Harry Met Sally... (Rob Reiner, 1989)
    28. It Happened One Night (Frank Capra, 1934)
    27. The Apartment (Billy Wilder, 1960)
    26. Mon Oncle (Jacques Tati, 1958)
    25. The Gold Rush (Charlie Chaplin, 1925)
    24. Withnail and I (Bruce Robinson, 1987)
    23. The Party (Blake Edwards, 1968)
    22. Young Frankenstein (Mel Brooks, 1974)
    21. City Lights (Charlie Chaplin, 1931)
    20. Blazing Saddles (Mel Brooks, 1974)
    19. The Lady Eve (Preston Sturges, 1941)
    18. Sherlock Jr (Buster Keaton, 1924)
    17. Bringing Up Baby (Howard Hawks, 1938)
    16. The Great Dictator (Charlie Chaplin, 1940)
    15. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones, 1975)
    14. His Girl Friday (Howard Hawks, 1940)
    13. To Be or Not To Be (Ernst Lubitsch, 1942)
    12. Modern Times (Charlie Chaplin, 1936)
    11. The Big Lebowski (Joel and Ethan Coen, 1998)
    10. The General (Clyde Bruckman and Buster Keaton, 1926)
    9. This Is Spinal Tap (Rob Reiner, 1984)
    8. Playtime (Jacques Tati, 1967)
    7. Airplane! (Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker, 1980)
    6. Life of Brian (Terry Jones, 1979)
    5. Duck Soup (Leo McCarey, 1933)
    4. Groundhog Day (Harold Ramis, 1993)
    3. Annie Hall (Woody Allen, 1977)
    2. Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (Stanley Kubrick, 1964)
    1. Some Like It Hot (Billy Wilder, 1959)

    I've ordered a couple that I haven't seen from the public library.
    P.S. This is one of my favourites: 30. Monsieur Hulot's Holiday (Jacques Tati, 1953)
    •  
      CommentAuthorol don*
    • CommentTimeSep 2nd 2017
     
    A SENIOR'S PERSPECTIVE OF FACEBOOK. AIN'T IT THE TRUTH!

    For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why
    Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while
    applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street
    and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have
    done the night before, what I will do later and with whom. I give them
    pictures of my family, my dog, and of me gardening, taking things apart in
    the garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving
    around town, having lunch, and doing what anybody and everybody does every
    day. I also listen to their conversations, give them the "thumbs up" and
    tell them I like them. And it works just like Facebook. I already have four
    people following me: two police officers, a private investigator and a
    psychiatrist.
    • CommentAuthorWolf
    • CommentTimeSep 2nd 2017
     
    That's too true Don but still very funny.

    I do take exception to that list of wankers over in Britain (soon to be called England) who go to Eton, suck on the public teat for most of their lives, and then pretend that Pulp Fiction is a comedy or that anything Chaplin did was funny which they weren't.

    Missing on a quick glance of that list is:

    Dumb & Dumber
    The Pink Panther
    A Shot In The Dark
    Grumpy Old Men
    The Bird Cage
    Bananas
    Sleeper
    Overboard

    And once again, Pulp Fiction is only a comedy if you're a wanker from over'ome who's pretty much clueless about the subject matter. Any piece of wood anywhere could randomly get as many in the wrong order as the twit from London, formerly the banking centre and clearing house of the EU.
  1.  
    Old Don ............

    I really like that Facebook description.
    I copied it to send to my Facebook friends.
    •  
      CommentAuthorol don*
    • CommentTimeSep 3rd 2017
     
    A sweet old lady is asked to say Grace at a gathering of
    “Seniors at Home" caregivers, and she brought down the
    house about 90 seconds into her prayer!

    Enjoy! I think this applies to a lot of us…..LOL….


    Getting Old = Mary Maxwell