Hi everyone...I haven't posted much but read all the time. My husband turned 49 two weeks ago and I am about to place him in an assisted living facility tomorrow. This has been a long bumpy road with lots of issues. I had posted a few weeks ago about the process for applying for a waiver to the state to allow him to be admitted into the facility due to his age and the licensing requirement of residents needing to be over age 60. Well after a long haul, the state finally approved the waiver and the placement is set for tomorrow. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I also have 2 young daughters: an 11 year old and a 14 year old with special needs. My question to you all is "what do you say to your LO about going into the facility and leaving them?? And more importantly what do you say when you visit for the first few times and they want to "go Home" cause they think you are there to pick them up??? This is so unsettling for me to even think about how terrified he is going to be :0) Any help/suggestions will be greatly appreciated!
first of jlj it breaks my heart to hear your DH is only 49. how sad, hes so young. and to have 2 young daughters at home to boot. i have brought 2 topics of interest about placement to the boards for you maybe some of what others posted will give you some help. try to make his room feel like home and bring fotos and things hes comfortable around. many say not saying anything is best. not to upset them. just stay a bit and get them oriented and them turn them over to the folks there to get him used to the areas. some visit soon after some stay away for a few days/week. the personell there should give you guidance what works most of the time best for newcomers. sometimes our spouses dont dwell on things we do. good luck, wishing you well tomorrow. divvi
jlj I also brought a couple of topics up for you, there are many more here about people having to place their loved one. I too am so saddened to hear of all you are going through... so young and so very tragic.... my heart aches for you :(
Each of our spouses are different, I think it depends on what stage they are in and how resistant they are to placement. Lynn was still with it enough to know he did NOT want to be there. We tried the truth, even saying he only had to stay a little while, that went over badly! What worked for Lynn was to tell him we had to stay there because of me. I have a history of medical issues and surgeries, he would not stay for him, but he would for me....... For the longest time, every time I left I had to tell him I was going upstairs for testing, that is the only way he would let me leave the room without him. The nurses were great about keeping the fiblet, they worked with me to try to help him transition. I honestly don't know what will work best for your husband, listen to your heart and go from there.
It is still the hardest thing I have ever done... I am so sorry you are facing this. Keeping you, your children and your husband in my thoughts and prayers ♥