My hb and I are not getting along. He talks too much and I don't. I've always been a quiet person and keep to myself. However when he talks it's always about what a tough time he has had in the past 4 years (meaning having lived in several facilities). I am so sick and tired of hearing his story over and over again which is why I don't want to talk to him anymore. It's always about him. Not once in the last 11 years has he ever asked me "how are you doing". Not once. It's always about him. This is nothing new he's always been like that (narcassistic). I don't know how much more I can take.
When ever I turn on the tv he put cotton in his ears. But when he watches his history channe he has it full blast. Lately he walks around in his underwear which is really making me sick. We're remarried since last year but that is it nothing else. I don't even want to be married. I just did it to help him out and I'm stuck. He talks more to himself than he does to me. In a way I guess that's better for me.
We also have money issues. He wants money just for himself and nothing for the family. Acts the same way he did before he got dementia. Everything and anything is for him. Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with a narcassistic person? He drives me nuts!!
Lee012, My DH talks all the time too.I love reading a good book but thats out,also talks when I'm watching tv.I hear later will come the time when they no longer talk,I won't like that either.We can't win for losing.I really wonder if he just likes the sound of his own voice,you think?
Lee, I am sorry you have found yourself in this situation...I know you must have thought you were doing him a favor in remarrying, but it seems like the old issues are still there. I know nothing about legalities but is there some way you could have this remarriage annulled? I can't imagine having to deal with dementia when you don't have a strong emotional tie to the person. It drove me nuts to care for my husband of 40 years and we had a good marriage....I can't imagine what I would have done if I hadn't cared.
it would be very very difficult to care full term for a dementia patient without having a long and standing emotional connection. i cant imagine doing it just to help him out. most of us who have had decent longterm marriages are at the wits end by end stages even with a good and loving marriage. the longer you wait the more difficult it is to even consider leaving your situation. we have heard many times the individuals original personality traits magnify intensely with AD. so if he was narcissistic before look out.
i think 'babbling' to themselves becomes an AD trait as well. they seem to like to listen to themselves if nothing else. divvi
I tend to agree with the earlier suggestion to see if this marriage can be annulled...I think dementia just magnifies the good and bad traits of one's personality and you have carried this load in a way most would not. You are entitled to save yourself..You are a caring person who sort of demonstrates the old saying " no good deed goes unpunished"..most often that is not the case but sometimes it is. You no longer have to put up with this...you left before for good reason and no one should fault you if you need to do so again for your safety and health. God Bless you for all you have done,
Some cities have adult day care centers too! I have only been married for 14 years and I don't feel as close to him as I would if I would have been married for 40 years or more like most of the spouses are. I don't seem to have that connection like I am hearing about here. He has had dementia for about half of that time. I don't know if it is harder or easier with a deeper connection.