I have done something I thought I could never do-I have moved out of my DH and my bedroom. I was getting no sleep,and was wet as many time as he was. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done! We have shared that room for nearly 45 years.Now I feel as though I have deserted him. When I go into the other room at night I feel like a stranger in my own home. I thought he would be upset,but he really seems not to notice. Why does this disease have to take both our lives???
Bak: you are right, this disease hurts all family members and disrupts everything. I really believe my DH doesn't know I don't always sleep in same room. He's been in hospital bed now for 3 years and I have another bed in same room. Sometimes when he's sleeping good I am able and want to sleep in same room as it comforts me. Nellie
Bak, this disease takes and takes until we feel there is nothing left for it to take, and then it takes more. I am sorry you are going through the pain of this most recent loss........
Bak: you do need to get your rest and sleep at night. I have found when I go without sleep it is more difficult to cope. When I did move to the other bedroom I didn't give it a second thought as it was for my survival! You have to take of you! Do not feel guilty.nellie
Still really hard to go to a different room-I have an alarm set up so I know when he gets up and I am always up with him,usually to put on dry clothes and dry the bed! I use every kindof waterproof underwear and pads and we still have wet beds. IT is like when the kids were babies,up and down during the night to check on them and make sure they were dry .Only difference is they outgrew it -guess this will only get worse.
I am ready for that too, but I actually want to move HIM downstairs for safety. I think I'll have to pretend we're both moving downstairs for a while. Not sure when I'll actually implement this scheme.
Don't beat yourself up about this. Before my DH ever was DXed with ALZ, one time I moved him out...his snoring kept me awake..he has sleep apnea..It was only after he was tested and got his machine that he was allowed back I was so sleep deprived I could not function..it was a desperate measure other wise he would not have got tested. If and when he starts with the piddle problems I am not sure how I will handle this...I do worry about how I will have to change the house to accommodate his needs...but at the minimum I'll probably put him in the room across the hall unless he still enjoys TV before he goes to sleep... The one thing this disease teaches us is to be less rigid and far more flexible in how we adapt..It is a hard set of lessons we are learning as they decline.
emily--I am watching and waiting on the downstairs move as well. The stairs are getting trickier, but at this point he does not get up during the night. So most days, it's only one time down and one time up the stairs. I am not looking forward to dismantling the living room and possibly putting in a shower on the first level, but it's the only solution I can think of if I want to keep him at home.
bak, have you tried an external catheter? They're mentioned on another thread. Wife in our support group started using them and said for the first time in 3 yrs, the bed is dry in the a.m. No more laundry every morning. We're not there yet, but "it's" one more item in my "future file." www.BioDerm.us
Zibby, have not tried that i think he would just remove it.But I too have been keeping it in mind As for now the washer sure gets work out and so do I .