My husgand is now on oxygen....have problems with swallowing more and more each day....a little pain...but he is hanging on and still in good spirits...he is still telling me he loves me and he is still smiling. The hospice nurse says it looks like weeks left not months. God only knows this. Keep us in your prayer
DH had a stroke May 22 and had strangling episode which scared me. He recovered from stroke and this pm had another strangling event. I didn't call hospice nurse like I did last time. His son and I straightened him up in bed and now he is resting as I gave pain med and ativan. I read Angel's post and am concerned this is like her DH. I will have conversation with hospice nurse Monday regarding this. Am I worrying too much?
The hospice nurse should be able to advise you about rational actions. I know when my husband was dying his Ativan was increased significantly. As well as the pain med and then morphine. He was completely out of it and had not recognized me for a couple of weeks or spoken. I am not talking about not knowing my name or that I was his wife. I mean not showing any sign of recognition when he saw me.
We do have to recognize that except in exceptional cases like Nikkis Lynn they are really not going to have substantive improvement and be ready to let them go. Not try to keep them here, just try to make them comfortable.
This is very true Briegull, Lynn isn't in end stage so I have not yet had to deal with what you brave warriors have. He rebouded wonderfull with antibiotics for the pnemonia. If he hadn't, well... I don't do well thinking about it. But I do like to believe that when he is completely lost to me, I will love him enough, to let him go. I only hope when our time comes I can be as brave, courageous and loving as you were......
Nellie, I am not sure if it is different by state? But here someone from Hospice is available 24/7 to talk with. I hope they are able to help you and give you the answers you are looking for. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers ♥
The nurse that sees dh is off this weekend. I can call and they will send another out but he is now asleep. Tomorrow my help will be here so that I can make sure he is sitting straight while eating (pureed foods and thickened liquids). Hospice aids now come 7days week to help bathe. We have already had the "talk" regarding his living will and especially "no" tube feeding. I just have not asked nurse question re:life expectancy. Afraid of answer. His children and I do not want him to suffer. I pray that event will be during his sleep. I know that is beyond my control.
Nikki: thanks. Today started with me falling down front steps. Bruised and cut good knee, sore shoulder, foot and hurt bad knee! I just had DH on mind and in hurry to place garbage out and get to walmart to get him new mattress pad. I did make it to walmart but moving slow. Just so worried that I was careless.
Goodness Nellie!!! I hope you are ok... OUCH!!! Don't look at it as you being careless, accidents happen. And that happen a lot easier when our minds are full of distractions! I hope you aren't in too much pain, ((healing hugs))
Nellie, Your situation now sounds a lot like my mother was in her last couple of months or so. I was with her for 11 days before she died. When I first got there, while she could not speak, she did know who I was and would be upset if I left the room for too long...when I let her know where I was and made enough noise so she could hear me she was calmer. But getting her to eat was nearly impossible..it was liquid and only about 500 cc a day..and as the days kind of went on she became a little agitated but did like to have someone read to her. Only God knows how long this can go on for your LO..but in the meantime, try to stay calm and read to him and have nice music going. This is the toughest part of the journey for both of you.
The pull at the heart strings is so fierce...not wanting them to suffer any longer and at the same time not wanting them to really let it all just go...push pull and in the end, the disease wins.
Also, the falling down...if you have ever read about some of the things that can happen to us during our times of grief, one thing is that we do have accidents..After my mother died, I was at my youngest daughter's home during the holiday...I fell down the steps and nearly broke my ankle. Your mind is so preoccupied with what you need to do now and the haunting sensations about how you will be, what you will do when your LO finally is free...
Mimi you are so right! My mind just spinning thinking how much to do and worrying what's going to happen next and when. God bless all of you. My heart has been so sad for those who have lost LO's.
My mother, at age 100, was in a nursing home and stopped eating and drinking. One noon I tried to get her to eat. She said "you eat it". I said I was going home, that my wife had lunch for me. She replied "She's a good wife, and I picked her out for you". That's true, she did suggest my first date with her - see "love stories" on AD Spouse home page. She (my mother) died peacefully, with family at her side, 2 weeks later.
Marsh, I have a similar story. I have a friend whose mother was placed in a care facility when she was in her 90's. One day, about 2 years later, she said, "I'm ready to go," and from then on, refused all medications and food. She, too, died soon after.
On this past Friday my DH's urine was like the color of lemonade....it had changed from dark amber to this color then back to the amber the doctor was called and they returned my call late Friday night and said his kidney's are shutting down.... on yesterday he went all day without urinating they came around 630 pm removed the texas catheter and inserted the Foley catheter..was able to get 500 cc out in about 5 min.....they are stating his bladder may not be working at this time..and the only way to tell is to remove the foley and see if he can go on his own again which they will do on tomorrow. This morning he is in pain and is sleeping alot.
Call the doctors now..he should not be in this kind of pain and with the recent urine color history something is wrong . I would say this is an emergency. I would call now..keep us posted..I just googled the color question and your DH could have odd colors for different reasons, one meds, another dehydration and of course there are infections that could cause the problem. But pain? That could be something else..kidney stones maybe? Just some ideas but I am no doctor.... Your DH needs pain control and medications.
AngelB, his body is shutting down, and Hospice should have him on morphine for his pain. I am assuming you have him on Hospice...if not, have his doctor put him on Hospice today.....
Angel, I am sorry you are going through this. I see from your previous post that Hospice is helping in the care of your dear husband. Perhaps you could speak with them about increasing his pain medication. At this point, there is no need for the poor bugger to be feeling pain. My heart goes out to you, keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers ((hugs))
Angel, How is your dh tonight? Is his pain lessened? I hope so..the suggestions for Hospice to take care of this is spot on.Take care of yourself as best you can...the others are right this is the hardest part of this journey.
The pain is coming from his pressure sore. Eventhough they gave the comfort pak for the refrig...They have him on Tylenol #3 or Extra Strength Tylenol Liq and or Motrin.. I chose to give him Tylenol #3. There is morphine and other things in the comfort pak but I am sure this is for later. He is on hospice and has been on since May 16th. They are certain the discoloration of the urine is the kidneys shutting down....he has been on the same meds for over 2years.
if he is in renal failure he is dying. please dont wait to get him on the morphine. call hospice and tell them to come help you administer it if you need help. if things change you can always take him off it.
Angel, I am so sorry....... I agree with the others, it is time for morphine. Hospice can and will get you more so you need not worry about having enough for "later" Perhaps you could call someone now and ask them how much you can start him on tonight and ask that a nurse come out first thing tomorrow. Their goal is comfort, they would want him on the morphine now. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers ((hugs))
Angel, I am so sorry to learn here that there is such distress for you and your husband.Bed sores can be very painful and he should not suffer any pain especially as it sounds as though he is in his final days. Comfort and peace and solace is more important for him now..If he is in pain, hospice should be making sure he is not suffering and can rest easily..We are all here for you...give your husband a gentle squeeze of his hand for all of us here who are keeping you both in our thoughts and close in heart.♥
"We are all here for you...give your husband a gentle squeeze of his hand for all of us here who are keeping you both in our thoughts and close in heart.♥ "