I know that this can go on and on, but was just wondering about your experience. What were the last days like in your experience with your spouse with alz? My husband has "severe dementia" but is pretty healthy otherwise. He is in assisted living, however. I feel like I'm stuck in a time warp until he's gone. Don't get me wrong. I love him dearly and we are still very close.
Although I did not want to read about it, many of our readers found it very helpful when Fran kept us updated on her husband's last days. It was a couple of years ago, and since then, others have described the ending to us. I have tried to find Fran's discussion for you, but I wasn't able to.
Maybe some of our widows/widowers will see this topic and help you out with some answers.
I think it was bluedaze* who said that although she continues to post because it is helpful to others, it is painful to remember. (Sorry, bluedaze* if I've misquoted you.) I, too, find it very painful to remember my husband's last 7 months and the multitude of problems trying to keep him comfortable. Not every dementia patient lingers that long; some go quickly with an event. Just do the best you can each day and enjoy what you can. You really have no control over the disease.
Jeannie, I know how you feel. My DH is in nursing home. He hasn't walked in 4 months, unable to do anything, has pneumonia/aspirating and sometimes gasping to get his breath. He has been this way for about 4 days. I called our kids one night because I didn't think he was going to make it. He has been on an antibiotic for 14 days and nothing is helping. He has a rattle in his chest all the time. My thoughts and prayers are with you and everyone else going through this.
Jeannie: My daughtr used to say that I lived in limbo, so I understand that you feel you live in a time warp. And I know you love your DH, I always loved mine. There doesn't seem to be any common script for how things go, maybe it's just as well. Just know that countless people know how you feel and hope that gives you strength.
Janet found the thread from Fran and brought it to the top for you to read if you wish. It is titled "What I wish I had known about the dying process."
Thank you all for your posts. I did read the "What I wish I had known" before I realized you put it back up for me to read. I really appreciate it.
Today I brought hubby home for several hours. I "pampered" him by giving him a facial of sorts, clipping his eyebrows and fingernails. We just enjoyed each other's company. I even enjoyed having him taking a nap in his easy chair. Made things feel more normal. When I got him in the car this morning, he was whistling and even sang a few words and did a lot of "talking" which I don't understand any of it, but he was pretty animated about it all and I just agreed with him and went along as though I understood it all.
But by the time his nap was over and I had to take him back, he was rather shakey and confused, etc.