Boy am I glad that I can go here and vent to all of you . I'm sure that many of you share this issue with your lo, too.
My husband absolutely hates it when the telephone rings, and, especially when it's for me. He makes such an issue out of what time they call, how long I talk, how often they call (as if he can really remember that), blah, blah, blah. It infuriates me. My friends all know that he gets irritated when the phone rings and they try not to call at whatever time it is that he thinks is inappropriate (basically, anytime); I absolutely cannot allow him to isolate me even further from others that I love and bring comfort to me. Please tell me that this is only a AD phase and he will soon not even notice the phone ringing at all or that I am talking on it.
I know, very unimportant on the larger scale. Thanks for being here for me.
mothert-nothing that is driving you crazy is ever unimportant. If needed take your phone into your bathroom and close the door. You might even consider stashing some wine in the closet-
mothert, it is important to you. And we all understand. DH doesn't really get irritated about the phone, but always wants to know who it was, what did they want, anything new with them - even if he doesn't know them! It irritates me too. Hopefully, this is only a phase and then......on to something else! Never a dull moment.
Reminds me of when children were small. They hated my talking on the phone, resented my giving my attention to someone else. Now dh has picked up where they left off. Doesn't like it when I am on the phone. Tough. The phone is my lifeline to civilization along with the computer.
I agree with shirley. It goes back to the 2 year old behavior. When you are on the phone you are not giving them your full attention - even though they weren't getting it before it rang. DH will get into things and keep coming in to see what I am doing if I go to the back bedroom so he can hear the TV. I now call my friends when I am out doing errands. I'm not sure how long this stage will last but it has been a couple years now and I don't see it stopping anytime soon.
Charlie hated the telephone, the computer, a book, anything that took my attention from him. I just did my best to tune him out and carry on with what I was doing.
My LO was estatic when I was on the phone,outside doing yardwork or even just watching TV, that gave her the time to get into trouble an man she could do the darndest things,took all the keys for barns,cars,house everything made them disapear,along with all the papers for house ,Ins papers,she was a very busy little girl,nothing was safe,not one of the better times in our lives thats for sure
I like bluedaze's idea of stashing a bottle of wine. As it is, the "throne" room is the only space I have for privacy and I do use it often. Sometimes I do take my phone calls in there, but he still knows that I am on the phone. I have to admit I did yell at him this morning when he started whining about the phone call and even used the "f" word - holdover from my youth, just makes me feel better for some sick reason. Great way to start off the day, doncha think?
On a positive note, I do believe the addition of his "happy" pills have made a huge difference in his daily mood swings PTL for that. This morning could have become nuclear and it didn't.
It is not unimportant if it is likely to lead to him becoming a threat physically. It may well be symptomatic of paranoia which is part of this disease. Maybe you could get a cell phone if you don't already have one, set it on vibrate so that a msg can be left and when you get the chance to go outside, in the garage, in the bathroom return the call in calmness. It could be the 2 year old tantrum thing but remember your LO is a big 2 year old and if prone to acting out, it could become dangerous for you.
it does seem like the phone issues are just another part of the desire to control or even maybe just paranoia and anxiety issues. many of us had this during earlier stages, me included. DH would stand next to where i was talking on the phone and just ramble so i couldnt hear. if i moved he followed. then once i was off the phone it calmed down. no idea why but like you say they cant stand any diversion of attentions. or maybe talking to someone they cant see may cause anxiety. who knows. what i do know it was quite annoying. and yes it does pass..but usually something else takes its place.. :( hopefully not worse! divvi
My Paul is the same-stands over me when I talk on the phone.Wants to know who it is -why did I talk so long.Of course he does the same hen I go to the bathroom,stands outside the door and waits till I come out.I know it is just the disease but it sure gets OLD!!!
I solved it by having people call me on my cell phone...and with do not call, the phone stopped ringing.....Our spouses want our undivided attention. But that phase will pass - it just lasts longer than a lot of them! <sigh> (I can text on the cell and he doesn't know it) <grin>
Lynn also did this. In the earlier stages I do believe it was about attention. My niece and nephew would also do this when they were little. As soon as I got on the phone they would want to sit on my lap and talk, talk, talk! I am not sure, but maybe he even want to be a part of the conversation? Later I think the phone troubled him because he didn't understand who I was talking to. And later still, after I had to place him.. after my surgery I couldn't go in for a few days so I thought I would call so he could hear my voice. The poor bugger was soooo confused! He kept asking where I was, why was I IN the phone, and then he called out for help...."help, help, my wife is stuck in the phone!!" Now I get a chuckle out of it, but at the time it was heartbreaking. Now he doesn't care at all if I am on the phone. *sigh*
My DH always answers the phone because he sits right next to it, but doesn't understand who is calling or how to take a message or even hand it to me. He listens and then hangs up. That and calling any 800# that comes on a TV ad (thank god he no longers has credit cards) To solve the problem, I give everyone my cell #.
This is a hard phase. Or it was for me. My DH would stand beside me and scream, rant and rave...anytime I was on the phone. Did not matter if it was a business call or personal! Ah... the bathroom hide out. My husband and puppies would sit outside the door and continue to chatter away. Makes you want to scream.
So sad..not having a minutes peace for ourselves... My DH does the neck throat- motion to indicate that I have talked long enough... Other times he stands nearby, asking who, what, and when, making it difficult to hear...And if I'm not home or near to answer the phone, he erases the messages saying he couldn't understand any of it so it must have been unimportant... So happy I have caller I-D in my room... Another problem, when I run out to the store, he will NOT keep the cordless with him about the house.. Says he doesn't need it.. He has fallen and that cordless could have been valuable at that point... Logic and comprehension are gone.. we may as well get use to it... Something else will takes it's place...I wait with baited breath.. God bless all..