This was posted under - contacting members - It definitely needs its own thread. Let's welcome studabakahawk and give some Alzheimer Spouse encouragement - Especially from our guy members.
joang
studabakahawk CommentTime 43 minutes ago edit delete
Hi Im 54 yr old M my wife Dorothy of 29 yrs has been diagnosed with Semantic dementia 2 yrs ago. Im having very difficult time copping with the loss of intimacy , and companionship. Im on SS Nassau co on Long Island NY. Im appealing to F partners for help if not help advice .this is all very new to me and im not doing very well.,pls contact me at studabakahawk@optonline.net thank you all for caring
Welcome to the family, studabakahawk. Can I call you Studie? Although I share some of your problems, I can't relate completely. Hang in there. I am sure there is a guy in the group living on Long Island who will help you. Until you hear from the guys, feel free to complain, vent and ask questions. This is a terrific website.
Welcome studabakahawk, I am with shirley, can we call you Studie? That is a very imaginative name. That being said, welcome to the best support group you will ever find. I have been here for a couple of years and just love it. Like shirley said you can complain, vent, and ask questions as much as you want to and no one well say "I don't have time to listen to that" or "I don't want to hear that sort of thing" or shy away from you because they can't handle what you are saying to them. Of course I am not an M but I too am having problems with lack of intimacy and companionship. All I know is I live one day at a time and not try to think about this as going on forever because that will depress me faster than anything. That is the only advice that I can give you about any of the things that go on that we have to deal with. Of course you always have us to talk to(not the same I know) We all want to be here for you and each other throughout this whole process. I have never heard of the kind of dementia that your wife has. My DH has vascular dementia, it is the second most common dementia. I am sure that you will get a lot of help here.
Welcome studabakahawk (my first thought is you are a Studebaker fan). I had to look up that type of dementia and found that it is FTD class. There are others here whose spouse has FTD so should be able to share more.
We all go through mourning the loss of intimacy and companionship. If you do a search you will find threads on the subjects. For me it is more like having a roommate and I know someday it will be more of a child, not a spouse.
Welcome to your virtual support group,studabakahawk (love the nickname thay gave you!) Like they already said, we are here for you. The best part is that we are here 24/7. So come back often to ask questions, vent, or just read what has been written. There is a wealth of information here.
Studie, now that the "girls" have welcomed you, I'll join in as one of the few men on this site. My wife of 56 years is now in stage 6 of Alzheimer's. I know what you mean by the loss of intimacy and companionship. One thing I really miss is someone to talk to. Every morning, as I read the paper, I find something that she would have been interested in discussing. But there's no point in mentioning it since she barely knows what's going on. I'll check with you through your e-mail as well.
Welcome to Joan's site. I was 54 when my journey began 3 yrs ago. We are all missing that connection. I have no good solution for you. I miss just being able to talk about any issue in depth, she is just not there anymore. She knows me and we have a daily routine now. We traveled a good bit at first. It just is not possible, she gets too confused in a new place. I hope that you know that you are not alone on this journey, the fact that you are male and still young makes it hard. I maybe wrong, but I think guys put more importance on sex than women. They seem to do without it easier than guys, that is my opinion. I hope that you will do some searches on this site about the sex issue and see some of the past discussions.
Hi Studie--welcome to the group. There is a male member who posts as acvann, and his profile says he lives in Commack, Long Island. His email is in his profile--his wife has EOAD--you may want to contact him. I remember his previous posts about a younger onset dementia support group that is conducted by the Alzheimer's Foundation in the Long Island area--why don't you look into it?
welcome Stu... or Studie as they nicknamed you. :) so sorry to hear of your plight along with the rest of us here. no matter what type of dementia, we all have the commonality of loss and alot of helplessness when it comes to dealing with this disease. over time you will learn to go with the flow and not get so ansy or uptight over alot of the issues you have now. all of us have been or are where you are today. many of us are veterans that have many years of AD under the belt. we can all offer a bit of guidance or a shoulder to cry on or a pat on the back. some are newcomers and some are in the midst of the disease with their spouses. all of us do as good a job as we are able and sometimes we slip and have to crawl back out of the black hole. we understand the feelings and losses that are significant with an AD spouse. lots of handson info and information if you have time to read. divvi
Welcome Studie! My dh has had AD for 11 yuears. I took care of him until the last year and a half when his aggression became to great. You have found a soft place to land and we WILL hold your hand through the scary parts of AD and the lifestyle it puts upon a caregiver.
Hi and welcome to our merry and sometimes not so merry group of friends. We rely on one another for support and suggestions and even some laughs..You will love it here..Don't be afraid to ask questions, scream, cry or whatever..and don't be surprise when we don't hear from you if we come looking..we do that here as you will learn...it starts out as HAS ANYONE HEARD FROM_____________? and we all join the hunt to make sure members of our little family are ok. You will meet Marsh and Pharanque, and Wolf here too and they are our "characters" and an endless source of amusement and sage advice..Opps Marsh has already surfaced..there are other chaps here too. We come from all over the nation, Canada and even some faraway places..
welcome aboard Studie if i may call you that. My DW is a AZ survivor of over 6 years now and is mid stage. She recently had a trip to the hospital and temporary stay at a nursing home. She is home now but has declined considerably. as has already been said this is a place where you can open your feeling and put them in writing without feeling remorse. while i don't write often i do read comments every day and they often help a lot. caregiver feelings are discussed a lot but also help understanding and compassion are what makes this the wonderful site that it is. again welcome aboard.
Welcome Studie. I know this is not where you want to be but it is some place that you have to be in order to get through this. You will find all the love and support you need here. ((((hugs))))
Welcome! I too have a spouse with Alz...about 8 years now. I was intrigued by your name because I had a Studebaker when I was a teenager. I think it was a 1950 or thereabouts. My first car and I had a lot of fun with it until I burned out the motor and it just died. Yes, I'm going on 73 and so is my spouse. He is in assisted living so I am alone except for my daughter and her family that live close by. Thank God for that. She just called and said "Hi Mom, you want to come over for pizza?" Thank goodness for my children or I don't know what I would do. So, Studie, I hope you find some good friends online, and especially in your area.