Jeanette, I could write a novel on advocacy while your loved one is in a nursing facility. Advocacy is a full time job, and it is at times extremely frustrating! The best advice I can give you is to talk to the head nurse, the one in charge of all the staff. They should be giving ALL information to the staff. In a perfect word the staff actually remembers. I haven't found that to be the case. I agree the aides are very helpful and eager to please, but I swear some of them just lack common sense!

You should be having a care plan meeting coming up soon; the first one is usually within a few weeks from placement. This is where you can and should put voice to any and all concerns or wishes you have. Until then, talk to the head nurse to make sure your husband’s needs are being met. Another thing I did was to print a sheet of pertinent information, laminated it and posted it right in his room. I think the nurses and aides are very overworked and I imagine it must be difficult to remember everything about all their patients. Being diabetic is something important! And they need to be privy to that. Having it posted right in his room should help.

I also fill out a weekly menu for Lynn. I assumed they would give me one as he clearly can not make choices! But no, I had to ask. Perhaps that is something you could do? It will help make sure your husband is getting not only the correct foods, but also food he likes. The dietitian should have met with you already? If not, I would request a meeting with them. It is their job to make sure your husband is getting the proper diet. And it is your job to make sure they do their job <smile>

Lynn has been there over 2 years now and still I have to advocate hard for him. Just recently I had to call for an emergency care meeting. I am the only voice Lynn has now. And now you are the voice for your husband. Don't be afraid to speak your mind. They can't correct what they don't know you are unhappy with. I ask sweetly the first time, I remind nicely the second time..... if it gets to the third time, the gloves come off and Momma Bears claws come out! <grin>

As a nurse , this is upsetting to me that the Nurse Manager has not educated her staff to refer to a documented list of each resident and the diet he or she is to be given (as per md orders) whether the staff is bringing meal trays or between meal snacks, beverages. You shouldn't have to remind themt so often, Jeanette! I understand the staffing problems, but if the orders for each resident are documented and the staff is made aware that they need to refer to this documentation, it would make things a lot simpler for everyone concerned. The Care Plan meeting is a great time to make known your needs and wishes for your husband's care...I agree with Nikki, and applaud her methods of advocating for her DH. Unfortunately it is true that some staff members do not care as they should, and could use more leadership and supervision in completing their assigned duties. Hopefully, things will go better for you and your husband, Jeanette!

Thanks all. Good tips, Nikki. In this nursing home the patients are only in their rooms at night and I doubt whether most of the staff ever get there, but I plan to put a notice about Siem's "sugar-free drinks" right on the fridge in the sitting room. They may not like that but right now the reminder is more important to me. His meals are sent up from the central kitchen with his name on and they seem to be OK and apparently very good; he eats every bite. But they drink a lot between meals.
I agree that advocacy is a big job but I am struggling right now because I also -- of course -- want a good relationship with staff. I have a talk with the doctor on Thursday after Siem's medical examination and plan to talk to him about the diet.