In my support group yesterday it was suggested that we start getting our plans together. When I asked what "plans" meant, the leader (a great, kind woman with lots of AD experience) told me that meant finding a place to put dh and getting on a waiting list. I believe he will be most comfortable in a Family Group Home environment, so I've begun that process of finding a place for him. Problem is, I don't have any idea when he will need to be placed . Can any of you tell me how this process works? I feel a bit guilty and sneaky checking into these things as dh would be most unhappy to even talk about such a thing.
Btw, another thing that was explained during the support meeting is that when you take the AD patient out of his known environment, even on something fun, and especially if you do not accompany him (and even if you do), you can expect some deterioration in his condition. And, you can expect that decline to continue for 2-3 times longer than the absence from his comfort zone. Got me thinking that no wonder my husband was so bad last week, he'd stayed overnight with dd without me and then we left for the eastern part of the state a couple of days later where he had trouble with his bowels (yuk). It doesn't explain why he was very aggressive toward our younger daughter 6 weeks ago when I was gone and she was taking care of him. I do think the drinking is a BIG culprit. Gotta get some grape juice.
mothert--AD patients are very attuned to routine. It amazes me every time I realize that my husband "remembers" something because it is the routine. Perhaps the fact that you were gone and your daughter was the caregiver upset his routine and that's why he was aggressive?
Yes, I think that is probably the BIG culprit. She did tell me, also, that he was drinking too much. Not a surprise as she also drinks wayyy too much - a functional alcoholic.
even in late stage 7 i see confusion and deterioration if a substitute aide comes from the agency. the routine is quite important to keep them in sync and in their element.
Hi Mothert, Do you mean what type of facility (assisted living, nursing home, dementia unit) or how to approach a facility? (I'm the medical director of a Nursing home) Every facility will have an admissions person who will take you an a tour, explain services, finances, waiting lists etc. I usually tell people to start with places that have been recommended by family/friends and then contact the facility for the tour and go from there. If you do it early, (i.e. a year before it is needed), then you won't feel rushed, you'll be able to go back and ask questions that you thought of later. Each facility will also tell you what level of care they provide and whether your husband would qualify. josh
Thanks, Joshuy, for joining us. I went to your profile and was able to access your other resources. Awesome! The test of wearing goggles, hear muffs and gloves and being asked to perform a certain number of tests in a short time period gave me the clearest understanding of what my husband was going through and explains that look on his face that broke my heart.