Tom and I had a very nice long talk tonight over drinks on the patio. He is concerned for me. He wants to make sure I keep my health as I take care of him. He's concerned that I am overdoing and not taking care of myself/doing for myself the way I should. He also talked about what he can do to stop this "condition" (as he calls it). I told him that the meds he is on are trying to slow things down but there is really nothing he can do to stop it. It hasn't been diagnosed, and probably never will, but from everything I have read and all the symptoms he has I believe it is LBD. I told him that only an autopsy would be able to tell me what he has and he said he would not accept that answer. He wants to know more/do more.
We talked for probably 2 hours and while he struggled for words and meanings he was pretty lucid. I'm sure he won't remember half of what we talked about tomorrow, but I totally enjoyed having a real conversation with him. After we talked we came in the house and he immediately fell asleep in his chair. Like I said, he won't remember much tomorrow but tonight was memorable for me and also shows me how cognizant he can be at times.
Looking at him while he was talking made me think of the "old" Tom and remember my love for him.
sheila I see that you have been with us for quite a while. By now you realize just how different our spouses are (were) with this ^%# disease, treasure the lucid moments that tell you that your loved one is still here.
Thanks bluedaze*, I DID cherish this evening. Just looking into his eyes while he was talking brought a skip to my heart. He's sleeping now and probably won't remember the conversation tomorrow but tonight was special.
things like this are the blessings of this disease. We do sometimes get glimpses of the person we loved and married. I cherish the small things too. I live for them. So glad you had a great evening to always remember..... Good nite,
sheila--my hb and I also had this type of conversation not long after dx. He told me he would never want me to kill myself taking care of him, that if I feel I need to place him someday, he would want me to. Haven't done that yet, but if/when I do, I hope it will comfort me to remember his words that day.
Boy what I wouldn't give to have a great conversation like that with LO,can't remember the last time she could identify with anything going on around her,she's currently in an ALF an when I go visit its a smile an then all foolishness talking,being a retired teacher sometimes she tells me about correcting papers for the kids or that she had just been outside walking,she hasn't been out of the facility since she was admitted last June,treasure the moments an the conversation,it all go's south too soon