I'm thinking ahead, but probably not that far ahead. There isn't a relative upon whom I could place, say, 4 or 5 days of care. So I'm considering options. I guess there is such thing as overnight in-home care, but that worries me a bit. Jeff is good natured, but I can't imagine it wouldn't worry him not to be going home at night. Hard to imagine.
Next month I'm going away for 5 days. I have hired 3 people to take care of my wife in our home while I'm gone. All three have previously worked with her, so she will know them. I found this easier than trying to put her in a NH or ALF, mainly because the facilities could not promise that the space would be available when I wanted it. I think the cost will be a bit less. They worked out the schedule between them so my wife is covered and each caregiver has time off for family or other jobs.
Home is probably easier on patient. Sounds like your 3 people are conscientious and reliable. I'd be concerned that one might not (or 2) show up for their shift, but that fear just comes from hearsay re daytime caregivers who frequently call off. I left my hb in a dementia care facility for a week last Dec. The cost was about $1325.00. A friend left her hb at home w/one caregiver 24/7 who she'd had on a daily basis from time to time previously. It cost her more than $1325. The thought of planning 3 squares a day for a week for someone else to prepare or warm up doesn't appeal to me, either.
Emily, in March I went away for 16 days, first time I have left him. DH is stage 5 maybe, can do all the ADLs but needs supervision. The home health care agency arranged for the same caregiver we had been using for part time care for the previous 6 months to stay here round the clock. With only minor blips I was fine with how it went. I can't imagine DH's reaction to any kind of institution at this point and we had the advantage of continuity.
The agency charges us $15 per hour generally and $170 per day for live in. I am sure it is higher where you are. Our LTC Ins will pay up to $225 so we had it covered. The reality is it would have been cheaper in an ALF because I was paying for meals for 2 people, plus their restaurant and entertainment costs. Without the LTC insurance I simply could not get away without getting DH to a relative some distance away.
The concern with home is I'm not the clever sort of domestic-minded person who could think out how to have the right food on hand, or make sure a nice extra bedroom was available.
Then I've got young adult children who may or may not be in/out depending on college and/or work schedules and where they're living at the time. (No, I would not expect them to put their lives on hold for more than maybe a couple days.) A kid or pet-sitter could take care of the pets, but it's a bit complicated to add that to the duties of a home-health person. Within a few years I will have lost a couple old cats and an old dog, and the kids will be more established—probably elsewhere—but it feels like too much to drop any but the most magnanimous and flexible paid person into, at the moment.
Well...how he feels about day care when we experiment with that next week might be a clue.
I have gone over night a couple of times and had the Home Health Aide stay 24/7 and that has worked well. We have been using the same aide, so I only would trust her at this point. It would be nice to have the agency rotate aides so that if the need came up, I would feel comfortable with 2 or 3 being at home with her. I think keeping her at home is the best solution for her as she is knows her way around and a new place would be more stressful on her. The real issue for me is feeling you can trust someone in your home while you are gone. I have put most of her jewerly away and have put check books and personal info in a SAFE.
Emily--please check your email. Just sent you details on a new place in Baltimore that I plan to use this summer for respite. I just don't feel comfortable leaving my husband at home with a hired caregiver; plus, the agency I use doesn't allow the aides to take patients out, so a facility stay seems the best option.
Fortunately, I do not have to worry about having food for meals. For 4 of the 5 days I will be gone, my wife will be at day care, which provides both breakfast and lunch. Then dinner is provided by the Inn we live in, so that will take care of both my wife and the caregiver. On Sunday, the caregiver will have to provide breakfast - cereal and juice. Lunch is a large brunch provided by the Inn. I usually take some food from there for the evening meal.
When my husband qualified for Hospice in July 2009, I found I was entitled (through my insurance company - not Medicare) for FIVE days of respite a MONTH. I was concerned about leaving him for that long, because even then, he couldn't talk any more. However, I had a conference to attend and scheduled a three day stay at the Hospice hospital. I felt guilty, and worried about him the whole time. However, he was fine and did well and they loved him. The next month I had a conference for five days out of state. On this respite stay, I was concerned the first day, then determined to enjoy the conference and knew that they would call me on my cell if anything happened. Being at the hospital, I knew that doctors and nurses were standing by so that he could not have been in better care. Everything went well, and has continued to do so.
Each month I have used my respite and realized that it is what has allowed me to keep him home, and keep my sanity and still have time for me. I highly recommend respite as NECESSARY to caregivers in order to survive.
My husband has been on Hospice for almost two years now. They have to pick him up and bring him home in an ambulance now. He can't even sit in a wheelchair unattended any longer.
Finding someone that you can trust to stay with your spouse and know that they are well cared for is number one on your list. Number two is negotiating the price, if you are not on Hospice. Number three is deciding whether in-home or at a facility. (If you decide on in-home, make certain to put all banking and credit card information, jewelry, keepsakes, etc. are in a closet or a bedroom that you can lock and take the key.) Number four is understanding that you will worry the first and maybe the second time you go. (After four or five, you will be like a child let out for summer vacation. After a year of them, it has become a way of life and NECESSARY.)
Please do this for YOU. It will make you a better caregiver. It will help you be able to keep your sanity and health so that you can continue to take care of your spouse.