May Day MAY DAY.....Went camping this weekend. Hard for DH but still enjoyable. He lost his cell phone a kajillion times, woke me up in the middle of the night because he was cold (hey the blankets are right there), obsessed about a low tire, etc, etc, etc. But he grilled our steaks to perfection last night. Woke me up at 5am this morning to pack up for home (which is 7 miles from the campsite!). Oh well, I cooked a great breakfast when we got home and he is now napping! Happy May 1st to you all!!!!
More rain in KY. Not a good start to May! Just makes the grass and weeds grow more. LOL
DH just "helped" me fix a pork tenderloin rolled in puff pastry. He loved rolling the pastry out and then brushing on the egg wash. He loves to help me "cook" now and I let him do whatever, even though it takes forever. Doesn't matter, it's not like I have to be someplace - I'm here - all the time.
“We” bought a camper last spring (an rpod). We only used it once last year & then we only parked it in our friend’s driveway. I am hoping that we can use it this spring & summer, but I’m not sure how DH will handle it. I guess I just have to get out there & try. Not sure how to hook up the water & other hoses. The RV place where we bought it didn’t give very good instructions. Every time I go there I feel like I am their PIA. I have to go back to have some connections installed for the screened room that I had to ask them for (it was on the invoice, but if I wouldn’t have asked them for it I wouldn’t have received it). Wish me luck!
Opened our antique shop for the season.Grand daughters came and helped me.Hubby just socialized with all our old customers and did suprisingly well , I think it really did him a lot of good.He can't wait on anyone but was happy to just walk around. We will open only when I can get help.can't handle him and the business at the same time.Was good for me,too; to talk to real People,been a long winter.
Gorgeous day today here in Rhode Island. Probably the prettiest day of the year.. I hope rain stays away for a few days, to let us see the flowers, especially the flowering trees, in full bloom. I went to see L. in the nursing home this morning, for most of the morning both yesterday and today and he seems very quiet and good (except when being turned to be washed by his sweet CNA) and ate a whole segmented orange that I'd brought him. And came home to a quiet empty house (daughter off at work), and it was blissful! Took a long walk, one of the longest I've taken since I had my knee replaced, and am starting to decompress... I think I had no idea how tense I was when he was in the house, even with Andrew in charge of him, and yelling. Andrew has gone to see him at dinnertime, which is good.
Now to see the elder law lawyer on Tuesday! Happy spring, everyone!!!
DH slept the entire night for the first time in at least 3 years!!!! He stayed in the exact same position all night. I knew he hadn't been up because the bathroom was exactly as I had left it last night. He usually rearranges everything and unrolls half a roll of TP. Hope tonight is the same. RAINING here again after a gorgeous day Saturday. SUpposed to be dry one day out of the next 10!!! I need SUN!!!!!!!
May - perhaps the beginning of a better month. It's been 3 months since I wrote about the diagnosis of Lymphedema we received for PJ the end of January. It took 10 days to locate a treatment center that could provide care. Then it took a month before we began treatment - Feb. 28th. For 5 weeks, every single day! 5days/week to the hospital. Sometimes the Alzheimer's kept us from being on time. After all, PJ hadn't been required to go anywhere (except for med apts - which sometimes had to be changed at the last minute) on time regularly! The process was on a tight timeframe - at 10:50 am, unwrap legs (8 layers) and head for the shower. For those having trouble getting spouse in shower, this worked. First time in years that he has had a daily shower. Had to be in the car by 12:20 or we'd be late. Then off to the Rehab Hospital. They were excellent and patient. PJ never remembered to do his exercises between visits. Had to pack a small lunch as we didn't finish at the hospital until about 3. Would drive out of parking lot and park so he could eat something. Then home - total time 5 hrs. He would be exhausted and sleep for 4 hrs. Meanwhile, I had to do all the other chores. Week-ends I had to unwrap, massage, and rewrap. Wash the liners, etc. HOWEVER - he can stand, walk a little, and get in bed. Shoes fit for the first time in 6 months. Beginning in April, we started Ph Therapy 2 days week. The only time is 10:15 which is so difficult for him. He doesn't wake up in time to eat, shower, and dress. And he is supposed to be doing walking exercises and I am supposed to do the Lymphedema therapy. Walking is restricted to using a walker as he doesn't have balance and has very short physical ability to move. Lymph survivors have to wear special "expensive" support socks and special boots every day all day and the boots with a liner at night. Then, every night the socks and one pair of liners has to be washed and dry by morning. The socks take effort and time to put on. I finally ordered a second pair of the socks - $360 and only last about 6 months. I read Joan's blog about anger and frustration when it's not the Alz person's fault. I too have that problem. After 50+ years of marriage, I wonder if there will ever be a life for me again.
So I am looking for sunshine in May. Blessings to all of you. Nancy
It's been awhile seen I've posted on here. DH has been in the nursing home for a year and a half. He's now on what they call a "honey diet", meaning all his food must be pureed and liquids have to be thickened to a honey consistency. This is all due to his aspiratig. he coughs quite a bit. The doctor has had him put on Hospice now. Hospice just reently had a small patch (same as for sea sickness) put behind his ear. This is to dry up secretions. He is not bed-ridden, up in a wheel chair all the time and still knows me.
Goodbye April showers; welcome May showers. It's raining in NW IN. Nancy, I wasn't aware of Lymphedema and all that's required. Hugs to you. I dare not complain of all my locks and wandering, getting into everything hb. Nothing compared to your situation. God bless us all wherever we are on the journey.
ElaineH - there are usually other RVers in the park that can help you. I don't know what type of place you go to - probably more of a campground than RV park - but there should be other RV's around to ask for help. Dealers can be that way - not showing you thinking you know it already. Do not be afraid to go back and demand they show you until you are comfortable with how to hook-up and unhook. Or, if they are chauvinist because you are a woman they just care about the sale.
This month I am going to try to get on SSI for myself so that I can have some simblince of an income for when and if I need to put my DH in the NH in the near future. His personality is still continuing to change so I never know when I am not going to be able to handle him any longer.
Traveled from PA to Kentucky with stepson and 5 year old grandson to visit Charlie's family and have a belated Easter. Drove in the rain on Friday, had a glorious sunny day on Saturday for the get to gather and drove home in the rain on Sunday. Got to see Charlie's sister who couldn't come for the funeral and we cried together and I got a little more closure. On the drive home my grandson was very chatty, telling me all about his plans and things he was going to do. When I asked him when he was going to do these things he told me "when I grow a wife". Maybe more marriages would be better if you could "grow your own".
I spent the afternoon yesterday watching my sister die...she passed away last night, thankfully, she is at peace now. I hope & pray my husband goes in his sleep.
Sunny days continuing here, still no sign of rain.
But there is news. There is finally a place for dh in the nursing home, so I am taking him in on Monday. I knew it the moment I answered the phone although I had never heard this woman's voice before. Now that the moment is come it is scary but I have the whole weekend to get used to the idea, and let people know. At day care they are giving him a send-off, poor thing, he won't understand any of that.
Will post more on one of the threads about placement.
Kadee, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. It is so hard to lose those we love, especially when we have an AD spouse too.....like a double loss in our hearts. ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))
Kadee, my sympathy is with you and your family. And, Jeanette, I hope the move is uneventful, and you both make an easy (or as easy as possible) transition.
Today I went to help out my parents while my husband was at day care. On my way to pick him up my car's power steering went out and the engine started to overheat. I had to call a tow truck. Thank God for my next door neighbor. I called her on my cellphone and explained the situation and after she picked her kids up from school, she picked up my husband from day care. He is familiar with her and her kids so she had no trouble with him getting into the car. I don't know what I would have done without her help. She's my angel today!
see some sun out my window, trying to force myself out of bed using my baby steps method. first have a cup of coffee in bed, then check emails, check in here, talk with DH about moving a couple things too heavy for me to do without further aggravating my aching back, make a to do list so I don't feel so overwhelmed at things to do today, and then GET UP and walk thru the house to make sure DH hasn't undone anything I have done to make the house show well and in case we get so e buyers today. at least it is not raining!
It is foggy again this morning as was yesterday. I hope for an uneventful Sat..need to get things done that are left from last week thanks to more doctor visits and the usual chaos of an ALZ household.
Yesterday spent almost all afternoon in the doctor's office for yet one more going over for the VA as regards his IHD and then to the hospital for some kind of ultrasound. I watched the monitor and it looked more like EKG readings. Doppler ultrasounds I have seen in the past have shown the flow of blood with the blue and red colors..not what I was expecting. Could not get the pulse in the lower limbs..Then had to run to the post office and grocery store.
The kids always sent him a Mother's Day card in the past because from 71 to 77 he was Mr Mom having won custody of the kids..so our grocery store has a wonderful flower shop and I bought a vase of flowers and put a card with it from them, then emailed them so they would know that I did it and his reaction...he said " Have I got great kids or what?"..My flowers arrived from them earlier in the day from FTD...It made his day.
Oh don't worry, I got a little something for me from him..left a card out for him to sign..and I purchased a little pair of earrings to go with my pretty ring he gave me for Christmas ( a friend took him out shopping last Dec and he showered me with a blue topaz ring..my birthstone) so now I have a little pair of earrings go match...He will be pleased with himself.
Just watched the Kentucky Derby. First time in 20 years we didn't have a Derby party.Sure missed it. But I made DH and I mint juleps while we watched. AND...DH sang My Old Kentucky Home - got every word right! I've never heard him sing it before - he isn't a singer, usually!
Had 2 out of 3 kids here today with grandkids. Today was devoted to Mommydo's (instead of Honey-do's). Got bushes trimmed, weeds sprayed and the garage arranged. It was awesome! My 2 SIL's worked their behinds off today. Of course I had a house to clean after they left but that's ok. We had a great time and ended the afternoon having a beer in the backyard. DH even enjoyed it I think. He was pretty upset that they were coming to do "his job" but got over it fairly quickly! Happy Mother's Day to me and YOU!!!!!!
Sorry Kadee. I think loosing a sibling is worse than a parent - at least for me it was.
Beautiful weather here in Eastern Washington. Started with a few sprinkles but turned to sun and breezy. I am so happy working but I have to fight not feeling guilty. Art will make a comment about not working or wander around and my tendency is to feel guilty but I know I should not. I keep reminding him he is the one bringing in the 'paycheck' not me. I work for our site and full hook-ups.
My knee is doing better. Wednesday I turned on the rubber mat in the office - my foot did not turn and I heard a 'pop' and pain on the inner side of my knee. I went to the chiropractor Thursday and found I had rotated the tibia some. He rotated it back and there is just a little soreness now. I realize I am very lucky as the damage could have been a lot worse.
Just to let you know that my visit with Siem in the nursing home went very well today. By all accounts -- and I talked to several staff -- Siem is contented and seems to be settling in just fine. When I arrived, an attendant was giving him a manicure. (I should be so lucky.)
They have him in the quietest sitting room, whereas I really think that he enjoys seeing lots of activity going on around him. I told that to several people, who seemed to take notice, but anyway the evaluation process has just started. The person in charge of that is a psychologist whom I have not yet met. Maybe I'm wrong; he is free to go into any sitting room he wants, and he seems to be coming back to the quiet one. They have already started him on insulin; he got an injection while I was there and did not protest at all.
We went for a walk through the building and outside, and sat down at a picnic table outside and then in a sunny lounge downstairs but he wanted to go back to his sitting room, so we did. There are pillows and stuffed animals that you can toss around, so we played catch for a while, which is about the only game he still enjoys. His roommate is a funny gentleman who says "Now now now now now" a lot but is quite talkative when you get him going in conversation and even makes a bit of sense sometimes. He was sitting at the table with Siem and Siem always wanted to go back to that table, he seems to like Mr Spoon. I stayed most of the afternoon. It was really quite peaceful and pleasant. Next time I'll take my book and a National Geographic for him.
When I left I said I was going shopping and he said "This late?" and I said yes I needed to get some milk, and that was fine with him. No problem at all and the grapes that I had with me to distract him when I left, were not needed. That's lucky because he is on a strict diet for a couple days while they watch his glucose levels and get the insulin dosage adjusted.
Now here's the shocking thing: I heard from two different attendants that he was seen last evening walking up and down the hall, smiling broadly, with a female resident on each arm. I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting these ladies, but next time I plan to take him into one of the other sitting rooms to check out the competition.
Jeannette...I loved your report. Stories like this give me hope that if our future involves "outsourcing" Jeff, it could be a fine experience.
As I've posted elsewhere, my May will be partially about trying out the day care concept. I think Jeff would love to spend some time with a person who says "now now now now now," or anything else, so it's worth a shot.
I can't believe how we all progress...and I'm looking at daycare. Well, yes...I guess I can believe it. I think our air travel—or complicated travel by any means—may be over as a couple, so I gave our $200 Delta vouchers (earned by being passengers on a delayed flight in April) to our daughter. I had a sense of this in the Fall—that time was running short—and I believe it is coming to pass.
Jeanette, so good to hear your Siem has made an easy transition. it does give hope to the ones following that these very difficult tasks and decisions of placement can be made with little distress to us and to our spouse. i hope it continues and you find the competition is nil but only distractions in a good way.:)
Jeanette, seems Siem is doing well: a woman on each arm. It is easier for us if our spouses make an easy adjustment, I think. We're not quite there yet, but have looked at 4 facilities. There are no adult day care programs in our area. I've taken hb when I visited facilities, but don't know whether he knows what we're doing there. Currently looking for a week's respite stay in July.
Jeannette, great post, loved reading how Siem is doing. I can imagine at some point my DH would be receptive to care by the "females" as he always liked the attention in hospitals or doctor's offices.
I am also thinking maybe DH and I might be able to enjoy a trip together and am planning to drive to Northern California for the month of June and stay with his son & his family for awhile and then just travel about to Yosemite, Napa, SF, places we used to frequent when we lived there. That's the plan anyway. For today.
On May 9, I commented on Kadee losing her sister and how I could not conceive of losing any of my three brothers. Two days later, last night on May 11, I received a call that my baby brother had a massive heart attack and died in the ambulance. He lives in Western Washington. My heart is absolutely broken -- he was the sweetest guy, and someone I could always confide in. He is eight years younger than I, and has three wonderful adult kids. To make it worse, though my DH was really close with Jim, he cannot understand what happened, and he said he cannot remember what Jim looks like, even when I showed him a photo of Jim. Then he started crying and saying that it is awful to lose your mind.
Spellchick, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I only have a sister left of my family -lost my Mom last Nov., lost my only son in Dec. The losses are so hard and my heart goes out to you.