I guess once you start dreaming about it, there's no room for denial.
In this dream, I was "babysitting" for 3 other adults, plus Jeff. They were very nice and pleasant (as is Jeff,) but one of the ladies asked me to please sit right there in the room with them, and not go anywhere. It was just sit in a room, with people who needed me to give them pills, and never ever go anywhere again.
I don't think I'll need to call an interpreter to help me understand why I'd dream this one.
Emily, It's so easy to almost predict our dreams anymore. I always have what I call my "frustrating" dream. There is something really important that I am trying to convey and absolutely no one listens. I keep repeating the message with even more emphasis but still it all falls on deaf ears! Just like every day here!
This is a good topic, Emily. I very often dream of being lost in a foreign country, or a large building...I try several ways to get out but can't seem to find the right one. Or I will dream that I am in a familiar neighborhood, and I am walking, walking, walking with no end in sight. Guess our frustrations and worries have to come out somewhere, and they choose to come out in our dreams.
Well, that says it all, doesn't it? Dreams truly are the window into our subconcious. The scariest one for me was -http://www.thealzheimerspouse.com/Mynightmare.htm.
Discussion on our nightmares: http://thealzheimerspouse.com/vanillaforum/comments.php?DiscussionID=4830&page=1#Item_1
My dreams are all about helping someone or someones. Have no idea who these people are in my dreams and I wish they would just stop. How about a nice trip to Hawaii or to a royal wedding and getting to wear one of those big silly hats...
I dream I hear my DH calling for me...wakes me right up and we are off for another night of insomia....Every nite without fail. If I take a nap..same thing..about an hour in..I hear him calling my name. Like he was in the next room, it is so real.
My dreams were about solving problems (still are). I would work so hard to get things to work, only to find out that I was entangled with a Rube Goldberg-like machine. I would stop a leak somewhere only to find it turning into a head of steam somewhere else, threatening to blow up everything. Put a lid on that and turn around to find a wall collapsing. Prop that up and notice that the roof was like a sieve.
I can never find my car. In real life that never happens but in my dreams I spend lots of time looking for it always in some downtown setting I've never been in. I wrote down my dreams for a year for a friend who like Vickie never remembers. I've been naked in large foodcourts, flying through the air, sitting in restaurants where you can see the reflections of the distorted image off the glasses of water on the table (always white table cloths). Locations recur and in one dream I suddenly realized that if I walked through some trees up the crest I would be at the lane which is a different dream location - and there it was. I looked around and went back into the dream that was happening. I've been a squirrel up in a tree watching a 19th century parade looking down at all the people. I was close to the bark and moved really fast. I flew once in a Beanie and Cecil copter hat being chased by a bear. I was taking off really slowly and the bear raced up a tree and lunged and clipped one of my shoes but I cleared the treetops and looked around. Finished the dream with one shoe on. I live in lots of different places and have a couple of clippings of places that look a bit like some of the locations.
My first love has been in my dreams for 45 years. Never in the dream. Always just missing her or realizing she had been there or seeing her on a different train etc. I've driven a model T and am often on trains or at work in some huge complex in a downtown setting. Everything is in color with textures, reflections, light, weather, sounds, and lots and lots of people. I even buy goodies in stores though I never seem to eat.
Dreams are great. It's like another world. Everybody dreams. I can't remember a recent dream. Might be a protective mechanism.
I won't mention the sex things except to say a big thank you to whoever the dreamweaver is. Not the main thing though. The main thing is finding where the car is. I don't even know what it looks like but I think it's red.
Vickie,
Have a short concept. Write it down and put it on the fridge. Stop at least 4 times during the day and read it. When you wake up, don't get up. Shut your eyes and relax for a minute or two.
The pink towel by the yellow umbrella on the sandy beach at the resort is for you. We'll see you later at lunch. (or any short concept you like)
Very..very ...strange dream recently. I am being chased in a strange hotel by several men (I should be so lucky). I run into a room to get away from these men and they follow me...I run into the bathroom...jump into the bath tub, turn on the water and go down the drain. I can feel the senstion of my long hair going down the drain (I have short hair).
Any ideas on what this dream meant????
This dream was not frightening but one of the most interesting I have ever had. I dream often..I can wake up and go back to sleep and pick up the dream where it ended when I woke up. Sometimes I dream in color sometimes in black and white. Sometimes I remember them and sometimes I don't.
JudithKB, your dream reminds me of Alice in Wonderland: "What sort of people live about here?" "In that direction,"the cat said, "lives a Hatter and in that direction lives March Hare. Visit either one you like. They're both mad." I think that once we enter Alzheimer land, we're like Alice.
Yes Mary, I am Alice now. I don't know if this is true for everyone, but there was moment a couple of weeks ago that I knew my darling husband has drifted off into never, never land. I know he will probably get much worse, but this was the tell-tell sign...he is going there faster then I knew.
I asked him to put a cookie sheet in the bottom drawer of three drawers in a row in the kitchen. He walked over and opened the top drawer and said..."this one?"...I said "no, the bottom drawer"...he then opened the next drawer and said..."this one?" and I again said "no" and he then opened the bottom drawer and looked at me with the most blank look I have ever seen on his face...and I immediately said..."Yes that is good...that is the right one". This little thing may seem so minor to some but it broke my heart in two pieces. I will never forget this moment...yes, I now know for sure (as if I ever had any doubt)...this is the beginning of the REAL end of my husband as the person knew.
The Buddy Holly song that keeps saying something about "Crying" keeps going through my head Can anyone help me out with the name of that song?
This is a very apt description, Joang. I notice by the date that I had only recently got DH's diagnosis and information that support websites did exist, so I probably missed it at the time. It describes our situation perfectly. Is it any wonder that we sometimes think we've gone mad? Or at least, that's been my experience: so many things gone wrong, so many people acting as if it doesn't matter, so devastating that normalcy has gone and yet you are supposed to "take care of things."
JudithKB, My DH does this just about all the time when he empties the dishwasher. He will open cupboards and drawers trying to figure out where some things go. I can tell him the second drawer down and he will turn and go where there is only one drawer. He opens cupboards looking to see if that where scissors or tongs go. I tell him if he doesn't know where something goes to leave it on the counter and I will get it. Sometimes he does and sometimes puts whatever in the wrong place. I have a treasure hunt when he has gone to bed. lol.
JudithKB, I also live with that everyday & have for quite some time. When I tell my DH to go into the bedroom, he has no idea which room I am talking about. In fact he has no idea which room is which. He can’t follow simple directions & can’t answer the phone or use the TV remote. And the blank look? I hate to tell you, but get used to it, you will see it again……..often.
Oh Elaine, how true it is. Some of the rooms in our house have been re-named because dh has forgotten. Laundry room is now the wash room, pantry is the storeroom, basement is the cellar (I think his family called it this when he was growing up). I have to keep the sentences very short when I talk to him. Just like teaching a little one how to talk. Sometimes I think all my adjectives are gone because I don't describe anything anymore. I do use the words "left" and "right" just so he keeps up his sense of direction.
Judith: It is just the beginning. Your heart will break in so many pieces. He is now becoming your child. Let him empty the dishwasher. My poor guy has forgotten what his tools in the basement are for. I find him down there just looking at stuff and I know he doesn't have any idea what it is for. It is time for us to dispose of all the big power tools.
I dream often & I remember a lot of them, but I didn’t think about what they meant until this thread & the dream I had last night. I dreamt that I was coming home. The dream starts in an airport terminal, but the terminal is very small & I open the door to a small room that looks like a car rental desk. I have to change planes & there are 3 ladies at the desk & one of them takes my ticket & gives me what looks like a movie ticket. She tells me to go out the door & when I do I am outside. I look at the ticket & it is a bus ticket & the bus terminal is across the street. I feel very confused so I go back in the door to the airport terminal & the ladies are gone & a custodian is sweeping the floor. When I ask where the ladies are he tells me they are gone. When I tell him I need to talk to them he just shrugs his shoulders & goes on sweeping. I tell him that I just want to go home. I go out the door to go to the bus terminal & then I wake up (for real) cuz DH is telling me that he wants to go home. After I thought about it I think that this dream was sent to me to show me how my DH feels. He wants to go home & he thinks he is on his way, but when he goes out the door he gets confused & no one will help him. It was very real, but did it make me feel compassion towards my DH? NO, because he was very verbally abusive towards me before we went to bed & the ice around my heart had not melted yet.
Ohhh...my..what wonderful stories, but so sad. I want to thank everyone for their stories and expression of understanding.
We have had terrible winds here for a couple of days and I was sick with a head ache like my head was in a vise so I didn't do much with regard to the computer.
emily, this is a very timely discussion for me. Last week I had several nights in a row of horrible nightmares related to neglecting my son. In the nightmares he is toddler aged (in real life, he is about to turn 16). In the last one I had been with a gathering of people celebrating, and we all left to go home. When I got to the end of the trip home on the subway, I realize I left my toddler son - that he never got on the subway with us. And then panic ensues. I wake with tears streaming down my face.
I know these bad dreams are related to the sadness I feel at my son having to deal with all this, and my fear that he is not going to remember the devoted, loving father my DH had always been. It's just another area associated with this condition, where I fell helpless and it all comes pouring out in the middle of the night...
mary22033, I can't even imagine what it is like for you and your family when you not only have an AD spouse but a teenager. It is a traumatic time for teens anyway and to add all this makes it more turbulent. But I wouldn't worry about that dream....I've had a similar dream for 40 years. I often dream of forgetting one of my children (who are now 40, 38 & 35)... still dreaming of them as babies. I don't think it is out of neglect. I think of it as out of concern that you cannot shield them from what is happening. <<<<hugs>>>> to you and your family.
I always dream, nothing special, but strangly I've only dreampt a few times about DH since he died several years ago. In those dreams I could see him not too far away and I'm trying to reach him to save him--and I can't. But in the early years as we moved deeper into AD, I'd have a 'sense' while I was awake--not a dream--that I was standing alone in a giant empty tunnel, big enough for an 18-wheeler with room to spare. It was round with smooth empty concrete walls, located somewhere underground, the surface of the earth not very far above--maybe a park was there. Somewhere was a dim light because I could see but couldn't see the end of the tunnel maybe 50 ft in front of me, but it was covered with a scrim one could walk through but not see through. I had no emotion. Not frightened, not waiting, not moving or thinking, just standing isolated, safe. I knew I'd get through whatever was happening but that I'd be all alone. I felt that I was protecting myself--who else could do it? The image was so strong, vivid and ever present that I've still remembered it all these years later.
While I haven't had the sort of dreams many of you recount--I might just as well have had them. I remember those feelings so well--awake or sleeping, they are universal. Bless us all.