I found myself alone on this Easter Sunday and for some reason I'm having a hard time handling it. Had family with me all day yesterday and never thought I would be indulging in a pity party today! So much to be thankful for, and I'm sitting, wandering, walking or whatever, because I can't seem to find "what to do." DH has been in a decline for about a week. He had stablized on Seroquel, was talking more and laughing a lot. Then the agitation with aides began at night and they were having a hard time calming him down so he is being given Xanax (lowest dose) at night to help him get through the agitation and to sleep. I think part of his decline may be the drug but part of me says its the progression. Either way it seems like a major loss again. So, here I am feeling sorry for him and for me because I can't "fix it" for him. I think I need a swift kick in the butt and someone to say "get up and deal with it!" I know there are people who are far worse off than I and probably worse off than DH, but I'm just not handling it well today.
TKS for letting me vent. Now I'll find some chocolate!
jackie, Sunday's alone are hard and Easter Sunday is even worse. I feel your pain. I don't remember what stage your dh is in but if he is mobile, put him in the car and go for a drive. Go through a drive-through for a coffee, coke and something special. Special for me is Mc Iced Vanilla Coffee and french fries. I enjoy driving through a nice section of town and observing the lawns and decorations. If he is "past the point of doing this", turn on all the lights in your house (gloomy day here today) and enjoy the brightness. If the opportunity presents itself, and you can, go out by yourself and allow yourself a treat.
Sunday used to be my favorite, but now it is the most difficult day of the week. I take DH out for brunch, but I can't reconstruct the past when he was animated and present and the light of my life. Trying to be grateful for what remains.
Thanks to all for your comments and support. Sundays are hard for me also. DH is unable to get into a car. For the last month he has been in nursing care at the health center of the retirement community where we live. He is in the late stages (according to his doctor), can't stand, has pureed food and has to be fed. He still likes his coffee and chocolate milkshakes so those are the treats I always have for him.
My pity party lasted for a while, I'm better now and I'm so glad I have this place to come to..people always understand and can relate to most any situation.
Yeah, I had no reason to feel sorry for myself on Easter Sunday because friends had visited on Friday, other friends made time to go out with us for a coffee and snack on Saturday, and today (Monday) my son and his family came to see us. But Sunday it was just dh and me and the day seemed soooo long. Yes, I should have gone out at least to MacDonald's but we had so much food in the house: silly, we should have gone out.