DH's complaining continues from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed. Today the director of the senior program he goes to three mornings a week, called me to tell me he is complaining there. He told her he could not exercise or lift anything. I called the neurologist, talked to the nurse. The nurse called back and wants me to take DH to a psychiatrist for cognitive testing. I expect he will do well on the testing. He is in a drug trial at Duke and has this testing at least four times a year. He always does well. Behavior is something else. He has been to the internist, had testing on the arteries in his legs. Technician said we should hear in 24 hours if there is something wrong. That was two days ago. He keeps telling me he needs shots in his back and feet and hand. He says he has had these shots before. I have been to every appointment with him the last 11 years and he has not had these. I made an appointment with the psychiatrist for May 23. They will file insurance, but we have to pay up front. Has anyone had any had any experience with this?
maryd, my DH doesn't complain constantly but if I say I don't feel well or have a pain somewhere he comes up with something that is wrong with him. It's as if I can't be the only one with a problem!!!! Like my eldest sister told her son one time.... If she had a pimple on her butt he would know someone who had two.lol.
My dh has informed me of "false memories" also. Right now he keeps putting Caladryl lotion on a nonexistent leg rash. We will see internist next week and show him this "rash". I hear about his busy days doing so much work when all he does is throw out the trash. Can't argue with dh because he really believes what he says.
maryd and shirley--what you are calling false memories is a part of the disease and has a medical name--confabulation. Because of what is going on in their brains, they believe these things to be true--it isn't the same as a healthy person making things up. You are right not to argue; you'll get used to it. As long as it doesn't result in danger, the best thing is to tell them that they are right about everything.
Absolutely Marilyn, but I know how it sticks in the craw of a lot of us who have gone to great lengths to become independent women, who do NOT accept everything our husbands say, to return to the "yes dear" mode. Take heart, though, that they won't remember half of what's going on, next week! And Marilyn's absolutely right that letting them get to you, or irritate you, just isn't worth the effort!
I had a similiar situation with my hb when he was going to senior programs. He complained so much they finally kicked him out now he has no where else to go. He says thing sometimes that have never happened but I just go with the flo. It's not worth arguing about something you're not ever going to win. Everything he does is not really surprising anymore. It's just another chapter in his illness.
Let me tell you how complicated it gets in this household. My dh was always a very easygoing guy with money. We never had a disagreement over money in all the 56 yrs. we have been married. We both knew what was there, where it was going to go or not go. All of a sudden it has dawned on dh that he should have $6 million bucks in the bank. No kidding. That is the figure he throws at me. He wants me to show him where all the money went. How in h---- am I going to come up with $6 million? One day I came home from church and he was waving some bank letter in the air saying, "Here is the money! I found it." I was really curious and asked to see. It was a bank letter about locations, etc. with phone numbers. He had added the list of phone numbers and naturally came up with a good sum. On another day he wants me to send big amounts of money to all of our 5 children. So far I don't say anything, just say it is a good idea and hope the profound memory loss kicks in soon. I never thought I would want to see him forget. Maybe I should tell him he suffers from confabulation.
I have the same situation you all have and I do try to agree,, really to avoid a confrontation,, blow-out or whatever we want to call it.. at any rate it ends up making him mad and moody and suspicious..And money, Shirley, we are not poor and all thru his sane years , he'd boast that we could do whatever we want, whenever we want... Well, things are different.. No matter when I leave the house I can be sure that he's spent that time digging thu records and coming up with totals we never in a lifetime will have... Wants to know every cent spent and then, having no secrets, when I tell him, its's like putting crackers in a bag, shaking it up and out comes crumbs.. frustration and the feeling that there is no trust for what I do makes all this worse. I just had an appointment with his dr. and will under other excuses for the visit, he will be evaluated for Alzheimers.. I have suggested this for years and only now, does the dr. listen.. I think the fact that he BM's in the heating register, might have stuck a cord with the dr. GEE. do ya, think?? I, too,enjoy a rare day when I'm not expected at a moments notice to pull figures out of my brain for his approval... Anyone else out there feel bionic..thanks all and try to make it a good day. Peggy
shirley, My DH complains all the time too.I hate seeing him pick the newspaper or turning on the news.This just gives him new things to complain about.It's hard to listen to day after day.Wish we were neighbors so we could console each other.
It took me awhile to get used to the confabulation, along with other irritating behaviors, but now I just do whatever it takes to keep the peace as DH might go into a rage if questioned. This was good behavior modification for me.
My only problem with the confab. is when he is talking to other people and they haven't a clue not to trust what he is saying. I just hate constantly telling people (usually people working on the house or a caregiver back when we had one) not to trust what he says.