I'm back at work from my lunch hour at home with a very large pit in my stomach. DH always reads the horoscope and believes it. I have more trouble with this. My Gemini horoscope more often than not invoives finance. It usually talks about having to curb spending, keeping a grip on things, etc. Today, it was no different and DH was in quite a state when I got home. He kept telling me he didn't want to fight but that he knows I am having problems and on and on.
A little background. from time to time, we help son out, gas money, etc. nothing really big, just help. this is the same son who bought us a used big screen TV four years ago. It kind of goes back an fourth with him.
On Saturday morning, DH asked about going fishing 4 hours away for the day. He/we were planning on going there for a long weekend over Easter so I told him that I would rather save the money for the long weekend and that we could go fishing a closer place this weekend. We then decided not to go anywhere.
Saturday night, son called and asked me if I could loan him $10 for gas. He wanted to pick up a couple of friends who were at the bar and take them home, and he was low on gas. I told him sure. DH has told me in the past that he doesn't mind me a bit doing this, just not to hid it from him. So, DH got so angry that he slept on the couch. On Sunday, the day started hard and finished on a high note.
Back to today, after reading my horoscope that said something about I am having money problems, DH is quite angry that I did not have the money to go fishing on Saturday and then gave son $10 for gas. He demanded to see my check book and kept it to look at this afternoon.
We have not had one of these episodes for probably 10 months. I sure hate the thought of going home tonight. He will either be "on the fight" or very sweet and passive. The anticipation is the real killer. These episodes almost always end after a couple of days with him telling me that he can't believe what a good job I am doing keeping the house running and that he will keep out of the finances. He also thanks me for keeping him around. The problem is that I carry the weight of the behavior for a couple of weeks. You know, kind of "gun shy" as to when the next one will happen. I know that Joan would say to just forget it, however, this pit in my stomach is just sickening.
I know how it is when something like that eats at you, so I wouldn't say to forget it, because you can't. I used to wake up every morning dreading what his mood would be, and how soon the shouting and arguing would start. Now when we get angry, he forgets it in an hour, and I stew over it for at least a day. After about a day, I figure there's no use wasting any more energy on it, since he has no idea about any of it.
What is really pitiful is that sometimes he will come to me, head hanging, and apologize for upsetting me. He says that he has no idea what he did to upset me, but he remembers that I was angry, and he's sorry.
Oh My Gosh! I got home for lunch today and DH was all upset about charge card apps from American Express for both of us. He found an Opt-Out number that was provided on the forms and asked me to call it. It was a government 800 number and a recording. I did his first and it asked for the SS number. I gave the number and he got so upset. When the recording asked if it was correct, I said NO and hung up. I am really in trouble for giving that number. He had me call our state fraud hotline. He was ranting the entire time I was on with the nice man. the man told me that it sounded like I had my hands full. He told me that it was ligit to give them the number and it was the only way for us to opt-out. he offered to talk to DH for me and DH would not talk to him. He then had me call the federal SS 800 number in the phone book because "they" need to know that it is illegal for anyone to ask for his SS#. He also ranted the entire time. The nice lady also commented that I must have my hands full. She told me that is was not legal or illegal for this number to ask for the SS#. She told me that it was DH's choice to give it to them or not, but if he doesn't he can't opt out. this all took about 45 minutes.