On 11 June DH and I will have our 34th Anniversary...on the 12th in Sudavik, Iceland, the 14 year old grandson will be confirmed... I am not really sure DH will remember our anniversary, though right now if you ask him when we got married he will tell you correctly. If he is reminded that the day is now 11 June he will say " well let's go out to dinner". In the past there have always been flowers and a card. In the past couple of years no flowers or card ,unless someone is here to help with birthday or Christmas etc and he is always happy that it "made my day".There is a big part of me that wants to be here anyway cuz who knows what next year will be..maybe no dinner to celebrate even if I have to arrange it, he could be in a NH or worse...
Then there is the grandson and I don't really think to him it would matter that much but to his dad it does. If the dates were not right next to each other I would go to Iceland..love those long June sun never sets days...but there is no way to get there on the 12th and not be here..it is a 10 hour flight and you arrive in Keflavik and then it is another 7 hour drive to the west fjords. What to do? Any suggestions? Ideas from those not dealing with ALZ situations is to just go..but they don't get it, the approach approach conflict, as they say in psychology....has anyone out here in Alzville faced this and how did you contend with the decision and family reaction?
i would celebrate the anniversary a week earlier with DH with all the bells and whistles.. then try to make the confirmation of Grandson.. if at all possible. they both need you. divvi
We celebrate our 50th anniversary July 1. Our kids wanted to have a party, invite extended family, friends. I said no, I think it would be too much for DH. I told them I want a family dinner. Well, July 1 does not suit everyone so I told them could it at any time. The day will be bittersweet anyway. I know DH will not remember even when I tell hm. If you think the travel to your grandson' confirmation is too hard, tell your son. Sometimes they need to be told that things are difficult for you.
I asked DH this morning what he would like to do for our Anniversary..he said we will have to thin about that won't we. Then I asked him if he would like to go to Iceland for the confirmation and he said no, he does not want to make such a trip, for him it is too hard. I suppose I could see about an early celebration but as he knows our date, I wonder how that would work...it might just add to confusion about something where there is none at the moment...Then I thought that maybe going to Iceland close to but after the event might be a solution. It is not as if this family there is especially religious,,,they aren't. Before they moved, they never made much effort to attend any kind of church service even on a now and then basis..WE are practicing Catholics, the girls raised that way but none practice the faith now or any kind for that matter.Not even Christmas or Easter! I just don't know.
There are two events. One means a lot to someone you love. The other is just a cermony that doesn't mean a lot to those involved. Sounds like an easy decision. Schedule a trip after your anniversary - when you can go and enjoy it guilt free! I'm certain if you explain to your children that this may be the last wedding anniversary your husband is aware of - they will fully understand...
Mimi, this is really a tough decision. I so agree with mary22033. She makes it sound so easy, but she it right. Since your DH remembers (with prompting sometimes) your anniversary and enjoys it, he should be your priority. Family feelings can make these decisions so hard. Some family will understand completely and some will make it more difficult for you. Planning a few days immediately after the confirmation would be a win/win situation, and I really hope your family will see it that way also.
Mimi--In situations like these, a well place fiblet ease the stress too. Between now and when these events occur, it is very possible that a scheduling isue could delay your flight out. Fiblets used sparingly can make our lives much more pleasant. I had a 5 day respite in Jan. DH was adamant that I could not go to AZ, or Ohio, or wherever it was. I had gone to Detroit to a clinic for my handicap before. That was okay. So I went to Detroit for things to do with the clinic. I just didn't stay there. Planes go lots of places. You could have your Anniversary with your DH, and if straight talk with your family in Iceland about coming out shortly after the Confirmation doesn't seem to fly, you could always use a fiblet related to scheduling your DH's care.