As if I don't have enough to drive me out of my mind, Sid is demanding that I re-instate his Facebook account. I closed it because someone hacked into it, and as you can imagine, he had no idea how to use it, and asked me questions every 5 minutes. I don't use Facebook, except to post business press releases about the website. People post things on my Facebook account all of the time, but I don't post any personal information. The bottom line is that I really have no idea how it works, nor do I plan on learning it. Running the website keeps me busy enough. Which means, even if I wanted to answer his questions every few minutes, I would not know the answers.
Since he can no longer remember any conversations, he thinks I am BSing him when I tell him that he asks me about Facebook every day, and I give him the same answer every day - I don't know how to use it, and if I set it up for you, you're on your own. At first, he accepted that answer, realizing he wouldn't be able to do it on his own. Now he has decided he wants to do it on his own, and he won't let it go.
Yes, I could set it up and let him sink with it, but that's not what will happen. He will nag me to death constantly to help him, and then he will get angry and throw a tantrum when I refuse. And since he will forget the entire incident, it will be repeated the next day, and the next, to infinity.
I think FB without security precautions would be a very dangerous thing. Setting need to be adjusted often. Joan-it will drive you nuts. Use your imagination to come up with a story like phil4:13 suggested. Could you set up an account the the AA Forum on the I have AD thread? Would let him chat away.
i have to agree that the effort and control factor would be overwhelming. and you have said that you'd be asked questions constantly. you already know how this will play out joan. i tend to agree security would be crucial. the suggestion of on the AA forum would be a preferable one i would think. i would lose the word facebook quickly! and say the owners are in trouble for illegal stuff and they are making it hard to access! grin
I see this in another light--participating in Facebook or on the AA forum could be an activity for Sid. Is it possible to get a college student to come by a couple of times a week and work on this with him? You may have to pay them a little, but it could be an entree into bringing in help and you could gradually increase the hours if you wanted to. I was told that you can contact the employment office at local colleges and they would know of psych majors, nursing or grad students who are interested in working with dementia patients. Since Sid's mobility is restricted, this could be a stimulating activity for him and would also give you some relief, Joan.
That is a good point, Joan. I think that the only people who will read what he writes are his "Friends", and otherwise, he'll just be dabbling here or there..with a few old buddies. We have to let them do something... and if he'll play on his laptop, more power to him..and more peace for you. You can make sure he understands you know NOTHING about it and if it gets locked up, it will just be that way, because you are not familiar with it Don't YOU even set it up..have someone like Marilyn suggested do it. You don't want to talk the talk. Play very dumb. Stress it's just too complicated. I do very little on that site, I think it's just silly. So, leave it to the sillies...and let him "have at it"...
If you set the settings right he would be very limited to where he could go. There is that group Memory People where a lot of the people are ones themselves who has AD or other dementias.
On the other hand, you could tell a fiblet that it cost now to join FB and you can not afford it.
My thanks to everyone for your suggestions. I knew I could count on you.
I especially like the idea of a volunteer student - it takes the stress and pressure off of me.
Charlotte,
I didn't know about the Memory People. Although I meant it when I said I have no intention of learning how to navigate Facebook or 'settings', a volunteer student would know, so I'm going to look into finding one.
Get a student, and then set it up with high protections, let him get to a few buddies, and let him play FREE games (don't put a credit card on for him to use to buy more farm animals or whatever).
My brother is in the computer security field. Coincidentally he emailed me a pdf this week regarding "Social Networking and Security Risks" I will forward it to you. You do have to be very careful and set things up very securely...
My husband hasn't been interested in Facebook, though I am in contact with some of his relatives there. But we have had a very good experience with a student worker--a nursing student who comes two or three times a week to help him with his exercises. They talk the whole time. I wonder what she is thinking, as my husband is very liberal and likes to talk politics and she is from the small town south and still goes home fall weekends to see her brother in high school football games. We do pay her, but $8 an hour. I found her by advertising on the online job board of the local university.
After a while he may not be interested in Facebook. In fact, he may not be interested in the computer at all. My DH has trouble using his computer and although I help him with it, he cannot retain anything. I worry when he can get on that he might do some damage to an account or order something or get hooked on a scam. He keeps asking what his password is and I say I don't know. I know Facebook would be overwhelming to him. He has a very common first and last name and that would be a problem.