Bak posted this under the "Where are You From?" thread:
bak Mar.26-2011 We live in Munday,West Virginia
I am caring for my husband,Paul(age63) Dz 11-10 EOAD
Dear Bak,
If you posted elsewhere, and I missed it, I apologize. I would like to welcome you to my website. You have come to a place of comfort for spouses/partners who are trying to cope with the Alzheimer's/dementia of their husband/wife/partner. The issues we face in dealing with a spouse/partner with this disease are so different from the issues faced by children and grandchildren caregivers. We discuss all of those issues here - loss of intimacy; social contact; conversation; anger; resentment; stress; and pain of living with the stranger that Alzheimer's Disease has put in place of our beloved spouse/partner.
The message boards are only part of this website. Please be sure to log onto the home page - www.thealzheimerspouse.com - and read all of the resources on the left side. I recommend starting with "Newly Diagnosed/New Member" and "Understanding the Dementia Experience". There are 4 sections for EOAD members - two of which focus on the young teens whose parents have EOAD (early onset AD). There is a great section on informative videos, and another excellent resource - Early Onset Dementia - A Practical Guide. You can go to the top of this page, click on "search", and type in EOAD, making sure the "topic" circle is filled in. All of the EOAD discussions will come up - there are about a dozen of them. Since your husband is only 63, he is considered Early Onset.
Do not miss the "previous blog" section. It is there you will find a huge array of topics with which you can relate. There is a "search" feature on the home page that allows you to look up different topics that may have been explored in a previous blog. Log onto the home page daily for new blogs; news updates; important information.
Welcome, Bak; you'll be glad you joined this group of caring, nonthreatening, long-lasting friends. We're glad you're here to help us, too. Plenty of info, angst, understanding as well as fun.
Welcome to our family, Bak. Nothing you tell us will surprise us. We have heard and seen everything. We will do our best to help you along this very difficult road.
Thanks everyone,this is a dreadful way to meet new folks,but at least here we can understand what the others are going through.I do tend to get upset and vent a lot .My husband is usually very easy going,but since he can no longer have cig.he can be a bear at times.How do you ever get them to stop nagging for something he can never have again?
Why can't he have a cigarette? Is it a fire hazard issue, or an additional health problem? Not that I would ever advocate for smoking, but is there a reason to deny it if it's a pleasure?
I am with Emily. Is there a reason he can't have a cigarette? My husband still smokes (the neurologist felt there was no need to try and get him to quit), but I have control of the cigarettes. He gets about 5-6 a day and I also hold onto the lighter. He will still nag a bit about the cigarettes, but at least I can tell him that "yes, in a little bit I'll get you one". When I took over the cigarettes, due to his starting to chain-smoke", he was a bit miffed. But I told him it was either this or he couldn't have any. I have handled the cigarettes for about a year now, so it's part of his routine now.
As for the cig. the dr.have told us they can reduce the blood flow in the artires in the brain even more than they already are. He also has COPD .he has also started a fire in the trash cans. So even though he is unhappy about not smoking-it has been 6 months now and I just can not let him begin again.