I know there have been several discussion about this issue but I cannot find one on this particular issue. DH has FTD/AD and is functional but has recently moved to early stage 6. He is continent (meaning he doesn't pee/poop in his pants) but he cannot wipe himself well when he has a bowel movement. He stands up to wipe himself which of course means he cannot clean between his buttocks. Although I and our aide instruct him to sit down and wipe he is VERY resistant and will not sit down to wipe; only wiping standing up which of course does not clean him. He will NOT allow either of us to assist. He has alot of feces in his but which goes onto his underpants. The only good thing is that he will shower (with coaxing) every other day. I do not want to put him in depends because they will not help with this situation and I do not want to encourage incontinence. Any tips???
i am not sure why you think one of the newer modified mens briefs (not full blown diaper type) would encourage incontinence. if you have this non wiping issue he already doesnt know how to manage that. poop is poop to clean incontinent or not -in the buttocks or in his underwear. the only reason alot use the mens newer type briefs is to save having to wash regular underwear every day or throw them out. at least the briefs have odor controls and absorb better in a crunch and can be changed/thrown away if needed while out. you will have to come to some terms on how to keep him clean as with this problem it can lead to redness , rash, and or infection and trying to get that under control with his objections will be much much harder.you wont have an option to ask to treat him if it happens and he needs wound care. i dont know what to suggest if you cant convince him to cooperate. maybe others have more ideas.
I agree w/divvi. I've given up on cotton brief because of constant need to bleach, wash or cut off because of non-wiping, missing the pot or not even trying. He's wearing "throwaway" briefs and is urine continent. It does control odor and absorb the dribbles--and can be tossed out easily. I don't think he even tries to wipe. It's still a battle to change them and clean him, but at least I don't have to cut good cotton briefs any more.
That is the reason I changed to Depends. My DH stands to wipe...when he remembers. He is still continent and just has "racing stripes" and I got tired of washing out underwear constantly. It is worth the cost.
DH won't hear of wearing Depends ... He won't wipe either, sits on the shower chair to bathe and shower and therefore does not clean THERE.. His logic is, if he's got it all in water, it'll naturally clean itself.. No way.. When I approach him on this subject he gets enraged and yells and shouts. sometimes the odor forces me to be rather mean with my comments.. I have learned that with this disease, he understands nothing unless I make him mad... Same thing with mouthwash... In his logic, These bodily functions and the odor they create do NOT apply to HIM.. Now, he's decided that he'll stop brushing his teeth.. Anyone else have these problems.... At what point are these issues important enough for placement... I'm thinking I should be placed and let him live life in what he considers a normal fashion.. HELP.. Anybody????
i dont know everyone is different, but if mine got enraged or yells and shouts anytime i think its time to review medications. i think it was briegull who said we must live thru this disease via pharmacology.. it comes to a choice of getting them under compliance to be able to keep them home or placement basically. many here have said at bathtime they can give a small amount of ativan or xanax or whatever your dr prescribes to help them calm down during the showering long enough for you to help clean him properly. i know its difficult to acknowledge earlier in the game, but sometimes they are not able to make their own decisionmaking any longer when it comes to hygiene and safety. even if you place them how do you think they will clean him in a facility? the dr will prescribe medications to help ease the process. they cant allow them to go unbathed for sanitary/health issues. its not like zonking them out but only enough medications to ease their anxiety and anger about issues that must happen sooner or later. they are unable to manage their care once these issues become apparent. eventually you will find an adequate approach and solution. ps peggy i just read on another thread you have to lock yourself into your room at night when he rages. its definately time to call your dr and explain whats going on. he may rx something without having to bring him in.. or offer some suggestions. divvi
Looks like this problem exists whether you are a male or female...MY dw would try to wipe herself, but would go from back to front. Needless to say, I am sure you ladies understand the problems that that can cause.. Fortunately, it became a temporary stage, and she would refuse to have anyone help her. I bought baby wipes, and explained that they were new toilet paper, state of the art, and designed especially for women with beautiful butts.... I also introduced ladies dainties, the feminine underwear from Depends in designer colors....and also made by Gucci, Fendi, Versace, Jovani, Bruno Magli, Chanel, etc....and any other brands I could remember. After a week, it worked, and my story was accepted. I suppose you would have to fabricate some sport stories about the men's underwear...Hunting Unties?? Fishing Skivies? Golf shorts? Beer Buddies?? In any case, always remember.....yellow in the front, brown in the back.....applies to both sexes.
We have a check=up coming soon so I have a long list of issues I'll cover with DH's doctor.... DH has never harmed me but after his rages, I don't feel safe sleeping in an unlocked room... Self preservation..... A change in meds could help and I will surely insist on that... Phranque, thanks for my laugh for the day and divvi for advise and encouragement... Peggy
Thanks all for your advice. I no longer buy white cotton undies for him - only dark colors like black, navy blue, etc. and wash them VERY well in hot sudsy water. They may be stained but you can't see it and they launder well. I will look into the depends mens briefs, but I doubt he will wear them since he refused to when he was in the hospital and "went commando". I'm glad to now we're not the only ones with this issue. We've tried the wipes with occassional success, so we'll keep trying. He has a drs appointment soon so I will ask about suggestions and possibly meds. DH is on a reasonably high dose of seroquel now so not sure what else the dr might add. No trouble yet with bathing/showering and a good butt cleaning.
Peggy maybe my dh can move in with your dh..... My dh seems to think he is better able to understand and do things than I am. I also would like to be "put away" for some r & r. Bet when we got home we would be the smartest people around.....lol...... Hope things get better for you.....Have a great evening....
Suffering full moon effects here or getting past it,, whatever we choose to call these periodic uprisings..They get more frequent and worse.. for the last few weeks,DH will try to explain something but will leave out what I call context clues.. today he was explaining driving techniques,,(that's fun, he doesn't drive and believes I can't either) and he was saying that a driver should turn in front of another driver, whichever is more dangerous...Sure glad he DOESN'T drive.. If his whole life weren't like that we could laugh about it... Same with our finances, he called the broker and later told me he's had a large amount deposited to my bank account, "cause I never had enough money"...The truth of it is, none of it ever happened... Ya see, I've learned to check behind such transactions and all my finance people know to clear everything thru me... Yes mammie, our DH would have a lot to talk about,,, might they discuss what useless caregivers we are???? An island looks good to me, with maybe an island boy to bring me fresh coconuts and and fruits......He doesn't even have to wear a loin cloth.....lalalala Enjoy the day.... Happy to have found such good friends.
As long as we are on this subject - I have some questions. . . My dh seems to have trouble with "finding" the toilet. Has had numerous accidents on the floor beside the toilet. He has parkinson's so was having difficulty sitting down and getting up so got the safety rails for the toilet, 2 months ago. Now he looks at it and says, "where do I go to the bathroom?" I am sure part of it is recognition. But any ideas on how to help in that area?? I am ready to put orange duct tape on the seat for him! He does have alot of trouble with visual recognition, something can be right it front of him and he doesn't "see" it. Don't imagine there is much help with that. Along with the decline in speech, this is another "communication" gone.
You are describing agnosia, the inability to see things right in front of them. I've read that if you paint the wall behind the toilet a contrasting color, it helps it to stand out. However, the only way to make certain he finds the toilet is for someone to take him into the bathroom and show him. Labor intensive, but I think it's worth it to avoid accidents.
I bought my wife flushable wipes that I found at Walmart. It helps her. She also has not sat on the commode correctly and made a mess. She has a seperate bathroom and I noticed some odd smell comming from there. She never said a word, she just left it on the floor for hired help to deal with. I wish I could have gotten my hands on one of those Haz Mat suits they wear into a Nuclear Disater Area.