I tried to read to the end of these posts but couldn't do it for the tears running down my face. Emily...you and I feel the same. I feel guilty for not wanting the end to linger. Sorry. I love you all even tho I don't post much. I do read here alot. I love you.
Reading again through the thread, I'm going to observe that we shouldn't be using our exact positions along the AD timeline, or our specific emotional reactions to our experience as measures of whether or not we belong here on this forum.
What we find here, is a group of people who are at different points along the 7 stages, reacting according to our particular personalities, but we have this in common: We understand spousal caregiving. Therefore, we're NOT going to second-guess or criticize others for having the "wrong" emotional responses, or for different approaches to handling the burden or caregiving. (which is what so many get from relatives or friends who haven't been there.)
So that's why we're here. Not to find ourselves with exactly the same story (although similarities can be reassuring sometimes,) but to be among people who acknowledge and empathize with the nature of the weight we're carrying, whether we hoist it on our backs, in our arms, or pull it along in a wagon.
Yes, I agree, we all 'belong here"---no matter how we feel or view our particular situations. Where else would we be; and where else could we go to get this kind of support and such a vast array of people dealing with much the same things we are dealing with, but offering differing views and advice; event the "rants" we read others sharing can comfort and help us.
When we feel down and low, someone's comment can lift us up; when someone rants, we understand; when someone loses a loved one, we have sympathy and compassion.
We are strong, we have found each other and have acquired knowledge and the wherewithall to survive. We need each other. That makes us a great "family."
Glad to see everyone is agreement lol. As I stated earlier, now I understand that it isn't that I don't “belong here"..... “I think it is more..the later you get in the journey, the harder it is to post. There just is no good news at this point. There is no "new" news... its all just heartache after heartache.”
Today my heart is heavy, and I have little to say. Time for me to retreat, regroup and reload.
'whether we hoist it on our backs, in our arms, or in a wagon'... i like that analogy alot emily! and its so very true.
while i do tend to agree that once you get into latter stages 7, there isnt a whole lot of 'good news' to report .. but lets stay positive if we can -even while dealing with the last stage. none of us wants to actively throw in the towel just yet. :) declines yes, some formidable, some ongoing, some stagnant, but even in this stage it is possible to see the good. like we have recently decided that DH isnt able to process an adult dose of antibiotics due to impaired kidney function, BUT he did tolerate a child dose and we extended it over 10days and hes amazingly rebounded yet once again. and like marsh noticed with his wife, after a long absence his wife was able to make it to the bathroom on her own. or nikkis lynn rebounding after 2 rounds of AB with pneumonia and still smiling. there is some good we just have to adjust our expectations of whats 'good' at the various stages. i surely would say that while in late stages the fact that they seem content and pain free is a huge 'good'. its all relative in how we perceive it :) divvi
Divvi, today...not for the first time, and I am sure not the last, you made my journey a bit easier just because you are a part of it. ((hugs))
Lynn is indeed on the rebound!! My niece and nephew had an early release today, so I waited for them to get home so they could go visit Lynn with me. The nursing home has been on shut down due to the flu, I go of course, but I didn't want the kids exposed. Now we got the all clear to go. So, on our way I stopped to get the kids a shamrock shake from McDonalds. On a whim, I got one for Lynn too.
It was too thick for him to drink so I had to thin it down with milk. I put it to his mouth fully expecting him not to like the mint flavor. However, he went mmmmm thats good!! and proceeded to take it out of my hands so he could hold it himself! He then took several long sips on all on his own. Leaping Lizards Batman!! He hasn't done that in forever!! A small thing to most, monumental to me. Enough to move this girl to happy tears. He was so damn happy!! and all it took was a milkshake.....
So yeah, I DO see the good, and I treasure ever little glimmer of "my Lynn" ...Today was a freakin gold star kind of day!! ♥